Second Coming Jesus/Santa
loves us
(if we're
good)
brush teeth
eat vegetable
no fighting
no talking back
(Jesus/Santa
don't like
no talking back)

as billed
He's back!
down from
dark sky
(with presents,
this time!)

yet once again
Michelangelo's
bearded naked Creator
dons pink flesh
(lots of it)
& this time
(reason unknown)
red suit

1. tanned Jewish savior
2. Norwegian cat burglar
(pick personal favorite)

first time out,
knowing
EVERYTHING
made Him cry
now, He laughs,
ho-ho (Buddha Claus)
at black secret
lumps of
coal in our hearts
gets cookies
instead of crucified

Jesus/Santa
still knows
EVERYTHING
(when you've been sleeping)
still sees
EVERYTHING
(when you're awake)
knows if you've been
bad or good
(so be good
for goodness' sake)

but Jesus/Santa
learned lots
since last time
gets better billing
dresses better
(well, warmer)
eats better, too
gets more days
off and (lest we
forget)
gets a Mrs. Santa, too
(ho-ho!)

This Jesus/Santa
digs Fischer-Price
not "fishers of men"
covers his ass
lots better
stays out of
politics gives
unto Ceasar in a big way

Jesus/Santa
is more practical now
& more, well, concrete:
gives bike not peace
wagon not heaven
threatens with
actual coal not
imaginary brimstone
asks us
to open
real chimneys
instead of fake hearts.

- Carson Reed