Sal reports he's "out of luck and out of print" in a large, Eastern metropolis. He's editor/publisher of RealPoetik (rpoetik@wln.com). His first book was Stepping Out of the Plane Under the Protection of the Armyout of Another Chicago Press (now defunct).





"Hello, Citizen,
would you like to ride with Batman?"
Another in a series of questions
I don't want to hear.
"Was that your sister I saw on
Hard Copy last night?" is another one.
It's apparent now that
war with the Hapsburgs is inevitable.
A bag of wet rubber bands sitting unopened
atop a lunch counter is a
fearful, secret thing.
And yes,
I am your lizard queen.

"That was nice, Doc.
Ever served any time?"
This was where you're headed, Buddy.
Welcome to Hell.
Darling,
the only thing that separates us now is
a restraining order.
Maybe I should call the
Psychic Investor Network, the
flower of 500 channels.
Not only am I against same-sex marriages,
I'm not so sure I approve of different-sex marriages, either.
And I'm still waiting for a spine donor.
Chemicals released into the environment somewhere
in the rest of the world eventually find their way
down here.

Now I'd like to introduce you to letters
strategically arranged in a group so
you can pronounce them.
Let me bottom line this.
Can I go home now?














Was she dead? I
thought so but
I'd been fooled by American women before.
So I sold her a homeowner's policy
so stiff it
took a breath,
raised itself to full height
and walked out the door.
Yes,
life used to be like champaign,
bubbly, wet and cold.
Now it's
warm, flat,
with a cigarette butt floating in it.
It was one of our more
dollar-intensive
weapons systems.

Dear Contributor,
I've read better verse than yours in
the bathroom at Sizzler.
I'd really love to want to help you.
You've managed to charm me with
your moronic innocence.
"Be honest," she said.
"I won't get angry. Tell me
what you want," she said.
"Your sister," I said.
That was just after a promising career as
mime was cut short by an unfortunate
attack of Tourette's Syndrome.
I think I'll try to convince my doctor
to write a script for Zoloft so large
I can eat them like candy.
It's the kind of drug that
really makes you wonder what
an overdose would be like.
Anyway,
as far as my client is concerned,
he acted as middleman or broker only
and had no knowledge of the use to which
these Delta-Class Soviet attack subs
were to be put.
And Fred died last year in a
smiling accident.
I'm also fond of Xena,
Princess Warrior,
and one lady who looks like she takes
little shit at all.
Welcome to the Psychic Investor Network where
hundreds of psychic brokers are waiting by the phone
waiting to meet you and advise you on
your psychic investment plan.
"That was nice, Doc.
Ever serve any time?"
And there were dogs in Virginia
still turning around.


7:30--Apocalypse Now.
"This IS our honeymoon,
you moron."
If ignorance is bliss,
why aren't I happier?
























So now I'm writing from
the locked ward at Itaskadera State Hospital
hoping someday to degrade into
WD-40 motor oil.
It could happen.
"You have a gun, Don,
Use it."
And it's attitudes like these that
keep you from getting invited to
all the good parties.
Well, if you're really dead
I guess it doesn't matter.
Actually, what I meant to say
according to my lawyers was
"The Devil's cabana boy."
It's a good medium.
I get to interact with people without being
shot with dart guns and
warehoused in zoos.

And as far as my client,
Mr. Alvarado is concerned,
he acted as middleman or broker only and
had no knowledge of the illegal purposes these
Russian Delta Class attack submarines
were to be put.
Thirty-five years of the War on Drugs
and I find myself a noncombatant.
Now they pay me to take drugs by
court order, it's
socialism isn't it wonderful?
"This is our honeymoon,
you moron."
Of course I'm also quite fond of
Xena, Princess Warrior, and one
lady who looks like she takes
little shit at all.
A clear complexion and
a checkered past.
I'm not only against same-sex marriages,
I'm against different sex marriages.
This is where you're headed, buddy.
Welcome to Hell.
My hairdresser and I are
currently in litigation so
we can't discuss it.






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