G. P. Skratz (firstname.lastname@example.org) lives & works in the under-rated urban paradise of Oakland, California.
A gallon bottle, sides squared as Jack Daniels, into which a boiled chicken soaked in rum has been miraculously inserted.
Its label is crammed with text in praise of the Bible, which it calls "The Phattagatha":
I'd invited Ken Starr & his deputies back to the Map Room, & now I'm standing over their dying carcasses & laughing at the cliche of holding a literal "smoking gun." The Secret Service, of course, has rushed into the room, but they've fallen to squabbling among themselves as to their responsibilities in this matter. One is calling for medical backup. All the necessary paperwork is on my desk in the Oval Office: resignation letter to the Secretary of State, brief address to the nation, & the all-important full pardon to myself. But I, too, am paralyzed now by internal debate: I've overused the phrase, but I really feel the pain of these men, dying in disbelief. How could I even have imagined this agony at my hand? I console myself with the thought of all the monks, millions over millenia, who spent lifetimes poring over the bloodthirsty wars in the great Phattagatha: thank God for the Phattagatha!
She sat on the back porch watching the geese eat her
husband's severed penis & played "Go Tell Aunt Rhodie"
on her banjo.
He was roused from his drunken stupor by a sound he'd heard
in dream as a chainsaw felling great redwoods but he now
realized was only Carol playing her damn banjo.
Scalpel. 2 clamp. 2 clamp. Scalpel. Excavator. Scalpel.
Wedge. Scalpel. 3 clamp STAT. 2 clamp. 2 clamp.
Scalpel. Wedge. Scalpel. Banjo.
As his doomed body fell helplessly from the sky, he gave
voice to his terror through a furious rendition of the
"Beverly Hillbillies" theme, the only song he ever
learned, on his beloved banjo.
Seven eagles hovered in a halo of feathers & flesh as she
whacked the windshield of Judy's new Toyota with the
steel head of her banjo.
Most people find that the handiest place to store their drugs
is right by their banjo.
Everytime he opens his damn mouth, it's banjo this, banjo
that. Now he says he can tell the future with it. I
wish I'd been struck dead the day I thought to buy him
that fucking thing, that banjo banjo banjo.
O grant me a field of artichokes by the rough seacoast in
autumn, a dungeon of velvet restraints for evening's
repast, an ivory bridge for the banjo.
2. (after basho)
furu banjo ya
banjo tobi komo
banjo no banjo
3. (how to make a banjo)
& in the 7th banjo, on the 1st banjo of the banjo, ye shall
have an holy banjo; ye shall do no servile banjo: it is
a banjo of blowing the banjo unto you.
& ye shall offer a burnt banjo for a sweet banjo unto the
banjo; one young banjo, one banjo, & 7 banjos of the 1st
banjo without banjo;
& their meat banjo shall be of banjo mingled with banjo, 3
tenth banjos for a banjo, & 2 tenth banjos for a banjo.
& one tenth banjo for one banjo, throughout the 7 banjos;
& one banjo of the banjos for a sin banjo, to make a banjo
I, a simple
to be the widely
of attention waging
war on france,
ascending into heaven
high on opium.
Wear a mask too long,
& your face dries up,
tears apart, blows away,
& there's nothing left to hide.
THE DAMNATION OF FAUST (& Other One-Line Poems)
Handbook For Claimants
Go to Hell. Come back, we love you. Get a job.
eye to eye
a red shit & a green one
The bullshit bomb explodes over my lap.
Get him alive if you can--but get him.
Even my bones want to flow from my eyes.
In Real Life
Clark Kent's secret identity is Lois Lane.
It is the illusion we feel as the Earth regresses.
Any one will do--as long as it's the right one.
call kiwi, call clinton, call, call
Moon Over Oakland
moon over easy with fries.
Kiss the damn ring, pay the guy at the door & move on.
The Damnation of Faust
His dreams of freedom follow him like spies.
G. P. Skratz