Memories of school 1969

poem by Sondra Williams

I see the hair brush coming remembering this pain, as it rips out my hair
I break free and run frantically, from my mother to catch me if she dare

I see the pants that will bind me and cause my thinking to go into a fog
Screaming loudly my protests, jumping and hopping wildly like a frog

I smell the breakfast she has set out for me to eat, gagging from the sight
Knowing inside of me I will be sick if I just eat one bite

I try to get to the food I wish I had instead
Only to spill over my breakfast milk instead

My sister yells and her words frighten me with fears
For her sudden loud words painfully rip at my ears

This confusion surrounds me as I try hard to cope and yet..
OHHHH no, now my under panties are wet

I see my mother coming with angry words as she shouts them from her head
In fear I wonder what I did and quickly retreat under my bed

In fear I freeze in silence, laying so still, wishing I didn't exist
No way to share with anyone the things I painfully need to resist

I hear the school bus coming down the road as the tears well in my eyes
Mother jerking me out from under the bed as angrily she says her good byes

I take a breath of air as I step out the door, knowing this in not the end of my day
For now I must go to school and be subjected to more confusion with no words to say

The teacher taking me firmly by the hand and setting me in my chair
Observing all of the other children's eyes on me, as they glare

Why does everyone react to me in such hostile attacking ways?
Laughing, scorning and setting my confusion ablaze

Confused by all this, I communicate quite clear my fear
But silently alone I sit saturated in unseen tear

Written by Sondra Williams
Copyright © July 13, 2002

First posted 21 Oct 02.
Sondra will be offering a booklet of her poetry for sale in the near future.

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