Dear Doug,

I am Skip Kotkins, parent of Katie '00 and Joey '04 at Lakeside. I read about your issue in the Times this morning, and I read your very thoughtful e-mail message this evening.

I have spent a great deal of time in the Independent School world. I have been a trustee of two schools, including Lakeside. I have served as Chair of the Trustee committee of the National Association of Independent Schools, I am on the board of the Pacific Northwest Association of Independent Schools, and I have done a lot of work from the lay side (I am not an academic) in around schools like Lakeside.

The thing that is interesting is that schools are very individualized. Each has a unique mission, a unique philosophy. There is no "one size fits all." As parents, our job is to know our kids, learn about the various school options, and hopefully find a fit. Lakeside is not for every kid. Bush or Overlake or UPrep or Garfield or any other school in the area is not for every kid.

Nor, within a school, is there homogeneity. The same teacher that "clicks" with, and inspires one student, can be a bad match for another. Of course, it is up to the school to do its best to serve all of its students, but in a community made up of complex individuals, there are always going to be better fits in some instances than in others. A school experience has highs and lows for students; the program of a school attempts to balance the needs of each individual with the necessity of having one coherent program. This always involves balancing "on the one hands" with "on the other hands." This is true in all schools, and it is certainly true at Lakeside.

But schools are not democracies. You may well be correct that the proposed laptop program in not in the best interests of some kids and some schools. And, with all your credentials and those of folks supporting your views, you may also be wrong for some schools and some students. There are no absolutes.

I believe that the Lakeside administration knows and understands that the laptop program has pros and cons, and is certainly not perfect; but has reached the conclusion that, on balance, it is better to try it than not. They have had a two year trial run in the middle school. I think that our job as parents is to continually evaluate our children and their needs, continue to look at the educational options available to them, and if we don't like something, go find something else we do like. I do not think that it is up to us as parents (even those educators among us) to try to tell the educators their business. If we don't like what they are doing, we are totally free to go elsewhere. But it is not a democracy, there are no absolutes, and you and I are consumers who are free to buy wherever we like. If you don't find the shirt you want at the Bon, you don't tell them what shirts to carry, you go to Nordstroms. Over my years of association with the school, I have seen a number of situations where the philosophy of the school did not match the philosophy of a family. Education is a cat that can be skinned many different ways, each with its advantages and disadvantages. In each instance where Lakeside was not right for a student or a family, they were able to find a more fitting situation elsewhere. There are no absolute right and wrong ways to educate.

I must add one important piece of information gleaned from my work with Lakeside for the past dozen years. We have some wonderful faculty at the school. Faculties are also by nature, an extremely change-resistant bunch. I have personally seen instances of totally inappropriate behavior by some faculty members who, selfishly, do not like something going on at the school, who forget that they are members of a community, and frankly act quite like children throwing tantrums. By and large, however, the Lakeside faculty are exceptional. I caution you about using the terms "...a large number of teachers, parents and students..." because the school has a history of a vocal minority.....really a minority....trying to out-shout the silent majority. Teachers do have a lot at stake. The Laptop program has more impact on them than on the students. It forces them to re-think how they teach. It forces them to try new models, it forces them to upgrade their own skills. Some don't like to be forced to do anything and automatically resist authority......it is a Lakeside faculty tradition going back many years. Others may simply not want to go outside their familiar comfort zone of teaching how they always have.

There is a remarkable paradox in schools. On the one hand, they are among the most change-resistant of all institutions. If you teach at the college level, you certainly know this. On the other hand, we look to them to be pioneers of knowledge. I fully respect your opinions and those of the others you have quoted. At the same time, I would suspect that most "outside the box" educational initiatives have initially been opposed by well meaning individuals of equal qualifications. Sometimes you just have to have faith that the professionals have done their job well. It is not up to them to have conducted an "open process" involving the opinions of parents, or even faculty. It is not a democracy, and progressive leadership is often without concensus. It IS incumbent upon them to have researched other schools who have implemented such programs. It IS incumbent upon them to have tested the program (which they have for two years). It IS incumbent upon them to know the pros and cons (it is always grey, never black and white), and when the pros outnumber the cons, it's thumbs up. Everything you suggest may be true.....but surely you also realize that there are potential benefits to the program. It is not black and white, it is a matter of which direction makes more sense.

I, as one parent, expect next year to be hectic, suboptimal, experimental. That's the way it always is with new things. If we wait for things to be perfect before launching them, nothing ever gets launched. I also have faith in the resilience, adaptability, and resourcefulness of my own child. He does not need to be spoon fed, and in fact, I think it is good for him to learn how to be successful in less-than-ideal situations. As an adult, I have to do that every day, and I think that being exposed to real-world situations while still in school is not necessarily bad for my kid.

I urge you to think about the impact of your campaign. It is potentially divisive, unhealthy for the community, and misleading for the kids. We adults need to model mature understanding for our kids. They need to understand the difference between democratic institutions, ruled by their consituents through representative process; and institutions like schools that are egalitarian, but not democratic. Lakeside has a record of success as a leader in the educational world. That comes from trying stuff, most of which works, some of which does not. In this case, I think they are taking a calculated risk, and when I sent my re-enrollment form (and check) earlier this month, I was affirming that, warts and all, Lakeside is the best option for my son.

Anyway, I appreciate the time and thoughtfulness you have put into explaining your position. I offer no rebuttal to your information or opinion, only a perspective based on my understanding that schools are not democratic institutions, and that we are free.....no, it is actually incumbent upon us as good parents......to understand schools as they are, not as we'd like them to be, and choose the best fit for our own educational philosophies and our own knowledge of our children.

Skip Kotkins