American Newspeak
Word Collisions by Wayne Grytting
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Here are the latest cutting edge advances in the exciting field of conceptual downsizing, the achievements in Doublethink most likely to make George Orwell roll over in his grave.
Posted 8/12/01
How to Advertise Your Assault Guns
There was a bright side to the ruling by the California Supreme Court protecting gunmakers from being sued -- the trial helped showcase the creative advertising efforts of America's assault gun industry. No matter what your views are on people running around the streets with Saturday Night Specials, we can all appreciate quality advertising. The gunmaker who starred in this trial, a company called Navegar, has proven itself an educational innovator.
The court ruled in a 5-1 decision that the victims of gun violence can not sue gun manufacturers for the carnage their products inflict. Crucial to the case was the claim that Navegar's advertising deliberately targeted people prone to violence. This impression was arrived at simply because Navegar advertised their guns' resistance to fingerprints and compatibility with silencers. People are so touchy today.
The TEC-DC9 semi-automatic pistol, produced by the Miami-based firm has become the weapon of choice amongst mass-killers. It was one of the guns used at Columbine High School, and was featured exclusively by Gian Luigi Ferri when he went on a shooting rampage in 1993 in San Francisco, killing eight. The compact pistol offers all the advantages of a submachine gun without the embarrassment of having to carry a violin case.
The advertising slogans pushing Navegar's line of military weapons for urban use would make any ad agency proud. In one brochure sent to retailers, Navegar praised its products for being "as tough as your toughest customer." In a similar league is this manly description: (It) "does not give up one ounce of gutsy performance and reliability to any other gun on the market."
Those of you not enamored with the Rambo approach may prefer this hip slogan for Navegar's popular TEC-22: "It's fun. It's affordable. And it's hot." Can't you just see Pierce Brosnan in a sports car casually blowing smoke away from his gun after a hit?
By far my favorite of the Navegar ad jingles, unearthed by the Violence Policy Center, is the following: "Only your imagination limits your fun." What a literate and colorful sentence. Picture yourself dancing through a field of wildflowers with your assault gun...
Unfortunately, two of Navegar's ad claims produced a small bit of confusion. The gunmaker noted in one advertisement, cited at the trial, that their assault gun had "excellent resistance to fingerprints." Some people have interpreted this as a clear enticement to criminals. I, on the other hand, am able to see Navegar's real intent. They obviously are just trying to encourage cleanliness. Would Pierce be caught dead with his gun covered with greasy fingerprints? No.
A similar misinterpretation occurred when the Miami gunmaking firm promoted their threaded barrel, announcing it allowed for the easy attachment of a silencer. Critics leapt to the conclusion that Navegar was targeting potential assassins, ignoring the possibility that they were merely interested in reducing noise pollution. I mean, who wants to hear drive-by shootings? It's a nuisance.
I'm reminded of a very similar case of misinterpretation that occurred four years ago when Anhauser Busch targeted hunters in an advertising campaign featuring the image of ducks flying over beer cans. You could walk into your favorite hardware store or gun shop and see giant inflated Labrador retrievers displaying Busch beer, camouflaged colored beer holders and "Official Busch Beer Hunting Gear" catologs.
Did that mean Busch was condoning the mixing of drinking and shooting? Need you ask? Of course not. August Busch IV himself, assured people that "We in no way... advocate consuming alcohol and hunting." It just happens that hunters really need green camouflage-colored beer holders to match their living room decor.
Misunderstood and faced with bad publicity, Navegar's outreach has remained excellent. It has even renamed itself. It is now "Intratec,"giving it a trendy Silicon Valley feeling . It has even followed the time-honored tradition of reaching out to female customers by circulating wall calendars with women displaying the merchandise. Sadly, their budget did not allow for much clothing.
But there is room for improvement. Besides being "tough," "gutsy," "fun," "hot," "clean" and "quiet," I'd emphasize it's the gun "preferred by professionals." Go upscale!
If makers of assault pistols were to ask me, I'd tell them to remind their critics that if they were found liable for the carnage they produce, so could even more categories of weapons manufacture. The U.S. is the main arms seller to the world. If we are going to hold assault gunmakers liable, where do we stop?
From last week: Philip Morris Sees The Light
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