"Consume"

 

American Newspeak

Word Collisions by Wayne Grytting


 

AD NATION

The Wall Street Journal once asked, "Is the market penetrating too deeply into American life?" IÕll be damned if it didnÕt turn out to be just a rhetorical question. Business Week estimates Americans are bombarded with about 3,000 commercial messages a day (counting all media), each ad drumming in one simple message: "Consume, consume consume ..." By way of comparison, consider the conditioning of the population envisioned in Aldous HuxleyÕs Brave New World. His "controllers" played recorded slogans to sleeping children æ 200 repetitions a night of the same slogan. That is bush league compared to the job our advertisers are doing today. HuxleyÕs "controllers" couldnÕt get in the front door of a modern ad agency. WeÕre rightfully number one in mass conditioning because so many advertisers leave no stone unturned.

Ad Agency Phobias

In their search for emotionally compelling ideas advertisers are running into a roadblock. ItÕs getting harder and harder to reach consumers who are hit by an estimated 300 commercial TV messages a day. David Lubars, an ad executive with the Omnicom Group with an enviable literary touch, complained that consumers "are like roaches æ you spray them and spray them and they get immune after a while." A truly humbling simile. Meanwhile, to get around this resistance, advertisers have long relied on focus groups to get at consumersÕ real feelings about products. But now even this approach is failing because, said The Wall Street Journal, oversaturated consumers "display an alarming tendency to re-gurgitate ad-world lingo ..." Ask and people will now say they like Sanka because of its "full-bodied aroma." Look at what happens when you do your job too well. In the quest for spontaneous or "naked" subconscious reactions upon which to base new ad campaigns, researchers have been turning to scanning eyeball movements and using hypnosis. ItÕs a tough job getting past the conditioning your own ads have inflicted.

Inner City Beautification

With limits on the numbers of outdoor billboards, inner city buildings have seen an explosion of advertising on their walls. Ads occupying up to 10,000 square feet can command rental fees of up to $60,000 a month. With such a profit potential, new buildings are being designed with external walls already reserved for billboards. To critics who questioned whether every building in a city need be covered with ads, Lee Wagman, the CEO of TrizecHahn Development Corp., had an answer that signaled an important cultural sea change. Pointing to the $600 million retail/hotel/entertainment complex his company was building in Los Angeles, Wagman noted that the "project would look out of place if it didnÕt incorporate commercial messages." Right-thinking people might think him abnormal. But his statement simply reflects the famous opinion expressed by Matthew Smith, CEO of the Federal Sign Company in Atlanta: "A city with no signs is a city with no personality." A uniquely American perspective. IÕm told he had ancient Athens and Rome in mind as his models of blandness.

How to Advertise Your Assault Guns

There was a bright side to the ruling by the California Supreme Court protecting gunmakers from being sued: the trial helped showcase the creative advertising efforts of AmericaÕs assault gun industry. No matter what your views are on people running around the streets with Saturday Night Specials, we can all appreciate quality advertising. The court ruled in a 5-1 decision that the victims of gun violence cannot sue gun manufacturers for the carnage their products inflict. Crucial to the case was the claim that a Miami-based firm named Navegar used advertising deliberately targeted to people prone to violence. This impression was arrived at simply because Navegar advertised their gunsÕ resistance to fingerprints and their compatibility with silencers. People are so touchy today.

The TEC-DC9 semi-automatic pistol produced by Navegar has become the weapon of choice amongst mass-killers. It was one of the guns used at Columbine High School, and was featured exclusively by Gian Luigi Ferri when he went on a shooting rampage in 1993 in San Francisco, killing eight. The compact pistol offers all the advantages of a submachine gun without the embarrassment of having to carry a violin case. NavegarÕs brochures praise it for being "as tough as your toughest customer," as having a "gutsy performance." And: "ItÕs fun. ItÕs affordable. And itÕs hot." They tell us. By far my favorite of the Navegar ad jingles, unearthed by the Violence Policy Center, is the following: "Only your imagination limits your fun." What a literate and colorful sentence. Picture yourself dancing through a field of wildflowers with your assault gun ...

Unfortunately, two of NavegarÕs ad claims produced a small bit of confusion. The gunmaker noted in one advertisement, cited at the trial, that their assault gun had "excellent resistance to fingerprints." Some people have interpreted this as a clear enticement to criminals. I, on the other hand, am able to see NavegarÕs real intent. They obviously are just trying to encourage cleanliness. Would Pierce be caught dead with his gun covered with greasy fingerprints? No. A similar misinterpretation occurred when the Miami gunmaking firm promoted their threaded barrel, announcing it allowed for the easy attachment of a silencer. Critics leapt to the conclusion that Navegar was targeting potential assassins, ignoring the possibility that they were merely interested in reducing noise pollution. I mean, who wants to hear drive-by shootings? ItÕs a nuisance.
 



Remember, these are only samples, lame and pale imitations of what you'll find in the book.

Now take me back to that nifty first page