---

IN THIS ISSUE

• Kate Brookfield concludes her description of a recent trip
• Dick Monaghan made the mistake of reading labels
• Jean Sterling makes another comment about restaurants
• Barbara Wear sends a story about a disgruntled gynecologist
• Jack Peaker forwards a number of quotes about drinking
• Catherine Green and Gerrit de Leeuw suggest websites

Kate Brookfield comes to the end of her story about a visit to

GREEN ISLAND, TAIWAN

After the first day, we used the scooter to get around the island and see the sights. In our four days we managed to visit all the places of interest marked on the map. It did not take long to drive right round the island, but there were interesting side tracks with trails. After the weekend crowd left on Sunday, the island was very quiet as the summer season was not yet in full swing. We did not find a suitable place for swimming in the ocean.

We did eventually take a snorkeling trip. Part of the package was the provision of a wet suit and snorkel and mask, but only the guide had flippers. We were the only two with our guide and although we each had a life buoy attached to a common rope, I did leave hold and have a free swim. The fish we saw were amazing for their bright colours, numbers, and different species. The guide was feeding them so the food brought the fish close for a good look. But we kept to a specific area and did not go out too far. A bit tame, compared to my snorkeling in the Cook Islands, but at least the coral was alive here on Green Island. Too many tourists can kill the live coral, so perhaps it is better for tourists to be confined to a specific site with a guide.

Scuba diving was an option, but they stipulated that you had to be a certified scuba diver. I have never wanted to scuba dive, but Michael took the theory and missed taking his final dive to get his certificate. Glass-bottomed boats were mentioned in the literature about the island, but we did not see any, unless the boats taking the scuba divers out had glass bottoms. It is a real handicap to have all the signs in a language you can´t read or speak! Maybe we missed them or maybe they are only available in the summer season.

Green Island has one of the three world sites for hot sea water springs; the other two are in northern Italy and Japan. The Chaojih Hot Springs Spa was a great experience. Admission cost was 150 NT ($5.00) for as long you wished to stay, or 30 NT ($1.00) just to go in and look around. We had the place to ourselves. There were three large pools with time buttons for turning on showers or power jets. Lounge beds were set out looking over the pools to the ocean behind. A kiosk near the pool served snacks and drinks. We had hot dogs, without the roll! Apparently, it is good to visit the spa in the morning and watch the sunrise over the sea. Our guide book also suggested not to visit at night on the weekend as the place becomes a big party place with hoards of young people. In a covered building was a pool filled with a constant stream of hot sea water direct from the spring. Unlike other hot springs we have visited, there was no sulphur smell from the water.

A very prominent site on the island is the remains of two disused prisons. Political prisoners were sent here during the year of Chiang- Kai-shek. The departing President of the Democratic People´s Party (DPP) spent eight years in prison on this island for his democratic and left-wing views. The prisons are now a shell and a morbid place of interest. I don´t know why they don´t clear the site and build something more useful. Outside the disused prison is a monument which was constructed as an apology to those who suffered here. It was marked in English on our map as a Peace Park, but I read somewhere else that it was built as a gesture of reconciliation.

A large area of the central hilly region is a reserve for Sika deer, natural to the island. In the information centre a woman was selling juice made from another strange and unknown fruit to me. She gave me its name, but nobody in Taipei recognizes what I thought I heard, so it is either my memory, wrong tones, or an aboriginal name. Its English name is screw pine, but the trees were not pines. They boil the fruit and make a juice which is served cold. It has a taste of resin and not particularly tasty. Around the park are covered viewing platforms for enjoying the shade from the fierce sun while enjoying the sights and sounds of the area. The only deer we saw were in a compound and they were chained.

On one of the trail roads, we were amused by a road sign that said "Beware of crabs!" I couldn´t think how a crab could harm us and thought it must be environmental, to warn people not to drive over crabs, similar to our signs that warn of frogs crossing the road. But later, when I was reading the guide book, I saw a picture of these crabs. They are huge, ugly, and look ferocious. When we visited the Taipei zoo, we saw them and took a picture of them. I was surely glad that we hadn´t come across them on our little hikes into the interior. It is known as the coconut crab, because of its ability to crack coconuts. More information about this large arthropod can be found at

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coconut_crab

and there is a video on U-tube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvTFaTDPMSo

There is a campsite for those who like to live rough. There were different rates, depending on whether the site was on the ground or had a wooden platform and a roof.

Although Green Island was not quite what we expected for a lazy holiday relaxing in the sun and swimming in the sea, we did enjoy our four days there. The thing we liked best was exploring the many trails either along the cliff tops or in the interior. It reminded us of our honeymoon, 40 years ago in the Channel Island, Guernsey that was relatively undeveloped and quiet at that time.

Please visit my photo website at Picasa to see the vegetation and views of the sites of Green Island:

http://picasaweb.google.com/brookfieldorama/GreenIslandTaiwan

Dick Monaghan has been reading labels:

MADE FROM WHAT?

I have before me, even as we speak, a plastic half-gallon (1.89 L) jug labeled "Apple Juice." Above this perfectly understandable description is another statement that I find ominous: "Made from Real Fruit." Are there really people out there making apple juice from fake fruit?

My label further advises that the substance I´ve purchased is from "Concentrate." Concentrated what? If I turn the jug around and look at the back label, I´m advised that the concentrate is the product of "fruit" picked in Portugal, Turkey, China and Germany. They should have called it "United Nations Juice."

My questions are no doubt juvenile in this age of globalization, but why didn´t they just buy a bunch of apples, smoosh them up, and bottle the results?

This led me to return to the refrigerator and retrieve a similar bottle labeled "2% Milk." This one raised an even bigger mystery. On one part of the label, it said, "This milk is from cows not treated with rbST." (I haven´t the slightest idea what "rbST" is.)

Right below that, it says "The Food and Drug Administration has determined there is no significant difference between milk from rbST- treated cows and non-rbST-treated cows."

Now what am I supposed to make of that? Here are three possibilities:

1. "rbST" is a chemical that is either dangerous, or its effects on humans is unknown and the grocery chain was wise in buying and re- selling milk obtained from untreated cows.

2. "rbST" is safe, and the grocery chain has been taken over by "food Nazis" who have unfairly eliminated treated milk because of their groundless fears of harm.

3. The current administration has instructed the Food and Drug Administration not to tinker with the workings of the free market: if "rbST" is dangerous and people die, get sick, or produce defective children because of it, they will stop buying it and the market will have corrected itself.

Meanwhile, the dairy industry is entitled to make as much profit as it can without government meddling. Death, illness, and defective children are the price we pay for economic freedom.

I was going to go get some pill bottles out of the medicine chest and check their labels, but now I´m afraid to.

CORRESPONDENCE

Jean Sterling writes: I so agree with Carol [Shoemaker, who found the music in restaurants much too loud]. Why is it that so many these days equate LOUD with beautiful when it comes to music? There is a good restaurant nearby that has music on certain nights - we purposely avoid those nights. Actually, the music would be quite nice if they didn´t use microphones.

Barbara Wear reminds us of the story of

THE GYNECOLOGIST WHO BECAME A MECHANIC

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don´t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler."

Just in time for the patio season, Jack Peaker forwards these quotes about

DRINKING

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams . If I didn´t drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy

"I feel sorry for people who don´t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that´s as good as they´re going to feel all day. " ~ Frank Sinatra

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let´s all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ Brian O"Rourke

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry

To some it´s a six-pack, to me it´s a support group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell

And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here´s how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it´s like this.... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way , the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That´s why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

SUGGESTED SITES

Catherine Green suggests this site for a look at motors powered by compressed air:

http://www.lease.ca/mdi-citycat-worlds-first-airpowered-car-012309.php

Gerrit de Leeuw forwards this URL for a video of an amazing horseman:

http://canecorso.com/lorenzo.htm

For a powerful video of how a group of high school students changed the outlook of their school:

http://transformationteam.net/video/challenge_day.php

Just a reminder of the site that challenges your vocabulary while helping world hunger:

http://www.freerice.com/index.php

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. - Oscar Wilde