---

IN THIS ISSUE

• Louise Kruithof concludes her description of a medical experience
• Margaret Manning resumes her story about an eventful holiday
• Dick Monaghan sends observations on the new economy
• Don Henderson forwards a real groaner
• Here´s a useful hint for uncluttering
• Carol Hansen, Dick Monaghan, and Tom Kyle suggest sites

Louise Kruithof concludes her description of

A NEW EXPERIENCE: THE CHINESE MEDICAL SYSTEM

After lunch, we walked back to the hospital to see the doctor again. They do not have a waiting room outside the doctor´s office and that is why the room was full of people. When we entered, there was someone talking to the doctor about some ailment, for which he prescribed some medicine; then another person did the same thing and again received a piece of paper. For each patient the doctor wrote in the booklet that the person carried. They are like thick (about one-half inch thick) notebooks bound on the short end but lined on the long side for the doctor to make notes. When a person goes into the hospital or goes to see a doctor, they must bring the booklet with them. I had to purchase a six-page one because, not being a national, I did not have my whole medical history with me.

These people were not so eager to let us go in front of them, so we waited with everyone else. I found it amazing that people would come, one after the other, and just tell their problem to the doctor with everyone listening, and even sometimes another patient giving advice ahead of the doctor´s complete evaluation. When it finally got to be my turn, the doctor looked at everything again and told me to see the other doctor, who took a cursory look, and they both agreed that my face had been frozen and that I would need to see a traditional Chinese medical practitioner. So, where do we go now?

We had to go to the traditional medicine hospital across the road. It was hidden behind a new building which was not quite completed, so it was actually hiding behind piles of construction equipment, supplies, and a big pile of rubble. Michelle was marvellous. She found it. I think it helps if you can read the signs!

So we entered this dark and dingy building and my first reaction was: this is a hospital? It was quite dreadful, really, but having lived in countries other than Canada and the industrialized world, I just attributed it to local custom and followed Michelle.

Picture this: a long dark hallway with closed doors all along and only the odd sign to tell what was behind the doors. I followed Michelle. She opened one door and was told to go next door. Next door were two desks and two men sitting wearing these little pill hats. She explained the situation and was directed to the end of the hallway, after the double doors, to the door on the right. So off we went again.

Past the double doors, there was a single door opened with a flood of light coming in from a large window, a desk, a storage piece of furniture all locked up, a sink, a small aquarium with four turtles in it, and lots of people standing and sitting on the only three seats in the room. We entered. I was used to it by now, and Michelle was getting used to it too: the stares at the foreigner. Again, maybe it was the white hair. I was offered one of the seats, which after the required refusals was accepted and I sat down.

Then the questions started coming: What is wrong with her? Where does she come from? How old is she? Then lots of advice (of course) and sympathy for being stuck with that frost bite.

The traditional medicine doctor finally walked in, took a not-so-kind look at me, listened to everyone in turn, and finally got to me. He looked at my face, asked me to move my mouth from one side to the other, asked me to blow up my cheeks (which I could not do on the right side anymore). He then said that it would take from 20 to 30 days of daily acupuncture treatments to help me get better and some pills to help. Quickly I thought about how many days we would be in this city and agreed to start the treatment.

He then wrote a prescription and an invoice and told Michelle to take me upstairs to the cashier. Another 179 yuans to cover the cost of seven days of acupuncture and a box of pills to take four times a day. Back downstairs to show him that it was all paid for and he went into yet another room to get the pills, and told Michelle to take me to another room and wait.

Ten minutes later, he came in and pulled a vial full of very unhealthy-looking acupuncture needles out of his not-so-clean white lab coat pocket and got ready to insert some of them into my face. Whoa! I could not take that. So, nicely, calmly, politely but firmly, I asked if he could please use clean needles. Well, there was a flurry of protests that the needles were clean and sterilized and would I please sit down. I insisted on new needles, unused and sterilized and still in the package. Nobody (still more people there) could believe that I would argue with the venerable doctor. He finally chuckled and left and came back with a package unopened with shiny needles in it. He then proceeded to put needles in my face. Ouch! ouch! He not only inserted the needles but pushed them in quite far. And I had to put up with this for 20 to 30 days? This had better work!

Once this had been done, one-half hour with needles in my face, we went back to the other, i.e. the new Western-style hospital, to retrieve the film with the CAT scan of my head on it. How many of you can show pictures of your head on a thick negative film? There are six views of my head and neck on it. My husband and I were discussing putting it in a frame on the wall, maybe with lights behind?!

Michelle, who kindly stayed with me during this whole process, left after I assured her I could find my way back to the hotel. This very kind young lady had to catch a bus to go to work and be there for 4 o´clock for the afternoon shift. I will be forever grateful for what she did for me during this - shall we call it - ordeal.

Next day, I went back as required and he pulled a small container that looked like a pen from his top pocket and wiped the needles in it with an alcohol swab, and proceeded to put them in my face. I did not protest, just gave him one of my dirty looks (I apparently have quite a formidable dirty look). Dirty looks must be a universal language because he told me that it was my needles that were in this container and that he was using them only on me. Again, must trust people sometime. But I noticed that every third day, he was getting new needles for me.

As time went by, that is the days went by, he decided that he liked me, this foreigner, and he became much gentler with his insertion of needles. After the first day, I had to go there by myself because Michelle was at work. Because I was there every day, along with other people, some of them started trying to talk to me. I say tried because there was still a language barrier. People were enquiring how I was doing and wondering if I was getting any better. They were all very nice people.

After five days of these daily acupuncture treatments I started getting control of my lips back and was able to again take a glass and drink from it. No more cold water all over me!

Then things changed a bit. Instead of being in a room with two, three, or four other people getting acupuncture treatments for different ailments, the good doctor opened another room where I was by myself. He also started bringing me things to eat while I had all those needles in my face. I realized later that most of these nibbles were given to him by some of his patients. I was given lots of mandarins, some nuts, pears, and so on. That was quite nice of him, I thought.

He also started asking his other patients and spouses/companions if anyone spoke English and if so, would they please come with him to talk to me. I was told that the doctor liked me very much and that was why he opened this room only for me so I would have some privacy, and that I was getting new clean needles all the time, also because he liked me. So in translation, this became sometimes "He likes you," sometimes "He loves you," sometimes "He uses new pins for you only," and other idiosyncrasies that come from translation by someone who does not master the other language. It was all meant to make me feel good, and it did. I always walked out of this hospital feeling better for the kindness of the people I met.

After 15 days of acupuncture, my face was back to normal. I noticed that the right side of my face is very sensitive to the cold: anything below zero seems to affect it. I expect it will be a few years before all the layers of skin which suffered from the frost are replaced in the natural process of regeneration. Now back in Canada, I am getting ready to go back to China by making myself a contraption what will cover my cheeks when I go outside in the cold winds of Inner Mongolia. In Huolinguole I bought a face mask, the kind everyone wears when it is cold to protect their face, and will use it as a model.

Did you notice that as I went along I did not mention any cost for the time spent with the doctors? I enquired how the medical system works in China. This is what I was told: It does not cost to see a medical practitioner for an assessment, whether it be by someone practising western medicine or traditional Chinese medicine, but any medicine or forms of treatment must be paid in advance. People will go to see the doctor, but if the cost of treatment is high, they just go home and suffer through the ailment or die from the diseases.

In all, the treatment for my frozen cheeks ended up costing about 500 yuans, which to me was the equivalent of around $100. For a Chinese person that would be the equivalent of paying $500 to $700 if treated here in Canada. Quite a lot of money to take out of one´s budget! Even at that, at one of my visits to the cashier, there was a man there who handed out 2500 yuans to pay for a treatment for his wife. The average wages for someone living in the country is 300 yuans a month, and for someone living in a large city it is 1000 yuans. I just read in a publication that the per capita yearly wages in China is about 5000 yuans. Everything considered, Canada is a great place to live!

We are home now in Canada and it is snowing, which always makes me happy. Big white snow flakes are coming down. My husband is not thrilled about having to shovel it, but what the heck, if it is too much there is always the snow blower in the shed. We are both quite anxious to return to China but we have to wait until all the equipment is on site so he can direct the installation and I can enjoy the people and get to practice my newly acquired rudimentary Chinese Mandarin.

Margaret Manning continues her story of

AN UNFORGETTABLE TRIP

We could hardly wait to get to our rented cottage in Norfolk. The photographs of it from the Internet excited us as the property had a croquet green.

We turned off the main road as soon as we saw the first signpost to Mattishall, the village next to the dot on the map where we were staying. The road was quite narrow and Mattishall village so clogged with parked cars that it was impossible to see what the village had to offer in the way of shops. "Our" village, Clint Green, had a couple of pubs, a post office/village shop that had very limited opening hours, and two or three little roads of houses.

Our instructions were to park on the right-hand side of the well, go through the gate, and someone would be there to greet us. The man was most thorough, spending 40 minutes taking us through the kitchen implements and accoutrements, showing us how the multi-channel T.V. operated, and so on. The dining table was ready for afternoon tea with a set of beautiful china, and some petit fours.

The cottage had absolutely everything you would ever need at home, let alone on holiday. There were three coffee pots, a food mixer, a full set of baking dishes, several cookbooks, enough china to serve ten people, washing machine/drier, dishwasher, reading materials, jigsaw puzzle, a huge number of clean towels, sun lounger, barbecue, etc. We were still finding new things we could have used days later.

The garden was so pretty with hollyhocks in full bloom. The croquet lawn was at the back of the property, and doubled as a tennis court.

The other property on the land was a very large house where guests parked to the left of the well and went through a different gate. That was occupied at the weekend by guests for a wedding and they used the tennis court quite a lot. We waited until they had left before we attempted to set up the lawn for croquet. The mallets were very ancient and difficult to use and the hoops were the old, wide type. However, the balls were of very high quality. We made the most of the opportunity to play our favourite sport.

Next morning we woke up with headaches and sore throats and the start of head colds, so instead of driving some distance to visit an old friend in Downham Market, we had a rest day and just wallowed in our luxurious surroundings. We had bought groceries the day before at a large supermarket in Dereham, a few miles to the west, so could just make the most of a rest and try to get rid of our ailments.

We were due to visit my father´s cousin and her family north of Norwich the next day. We set off early so I could help with peeling potatoes and making myself useful. We should have taken a side road out of Dereham that would give us a direct route. However, we missed the signpost and found ourselves back on the A.47 heading towards Norwich. We looked for an exit to a smaller road and found one. This led to an even smaller road that was described as a "byway". We did not know if we were heading north, south, east, or west and had to ask a few times. Unfortunately, the locals didn´t seem to know right from left and that is why we ended up so confused.

Time was getting away so I eventually rang my cousin and told her we were lost, just as Eric spotted the road we needed. With such a flat vista it was difficult to find any landmarks. As Noel Coward famously said, "Norfolk is very flat." As soon as we got to my cousin´s house everyone said, "You two need a GPS!"

We were amazed at how much my cousin can still manage to do, aged 88. As well as roast beef, Yorkshire pudding and seven vegetables, we sampled two of her four desserts, some of her tea wine, wheat wine, and red currant jelly. Despite all this, we had to "try a little food" at teatime before we were allowed to leave. We were presented with another huge feast and managed a few fresh strawberries, raspberries and cream.

We had a fantastic day with these wonderful folk, reliving shared events from the nineteen-forties and fifties. Eric´s sister, whom we´d seen two days before, was also there so it made for a truly wonderful day.

(To be continued)

Dick Monaghan forwards this black humour:

STOCK MARKET QUOTES

1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the buildings standing. It´s called the stock market. - Jay Leno

2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are ? Wall Street is now being called Wal Mart Street. - Jay Leno

3. The difference between a pigeon and a London investment banker? The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.

4. What´s the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and an investment banker? A tie.

5. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing´s right and on the right side, nothing´s left.

6. I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be watching our show: if you get any e-mails from Washington asking for money, it´s a scam. Don´t fall for it. - Jay Leno

7. Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his favourite candy bar. - Jay Leno

8. The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Bush´s copy was even thicker. They had to include pictures. - Jay Leno

9. President Bush´s response was to meet some small business owners in San Antonio last week. The small business owners are General Motors, General Electric, and Century 21. - Jay Leno

10.What worries me most about the credit crunch is that if one of my cheques is returned stamped "insufficient funds". I won´t know whether that refers to mine or the bank´s.

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer.

Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Bear Market - A 6-to-18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery.

P/E Ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

Broker - What my broker has made me.

Standard & Poor - Your life in a nutshell.

Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

Financial Planner - A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.

Profit - An archaic word no longer in use.

Don Henderson is guilty of sending this groaner:

ACTION FACTION

Martin Scorscese is interviewing three action heroes for his new movie, Arnold Schwarzenneger, Bruce Willis, and Sly Stallone. Pitching his movie he says, "This is gonna be an action flick with a twist ... all three leads will be famous musical composers."

After some thought all three stars agree it´s a new concept for an action flick and decide to get involved. In turn, Scorscese asks each star who they would like to play.

Bruce Willis pipes up first with, "I´ve always wanted to play Mozart...."

"Great, great!" enthuses Scorscese. "What about you, Sly?"

Stallone thinks awhile and then says,"I´ve always liked Burt Baccarach´s music. I´ll be him."

"Wonderful, wonderful, Sly", says Scorscese. Turning to Schwarzenneger, he says, "And how about you, Arnie?"

Arnold thinks for a while and after some eye rolling and tutting turns to Scorscese and says: "I´ll be Bach."

Here is a useful suggestion I found somewhere for

DOWNSIZING

Oprah had a book called "Organize from the Inside Out". It was about how the dumb way of cleaning closets is hitting your messy superfluousness with a steely eye and try to "reduce" by a certain percentage. Instead, she said, you should imagine that none of it belongs to you, but you have been told you can take what you need. Then figure out what you need (this is a good trick), and then don´t even look at the rest, but give it away.

In view of the inauguration of Barak Obama on Tuesday, some of this week´s sites reflect the interest in that historical event.

Carol Hansen suggests this example of morphing, showing the 44 US presidents from George Washington to Obama:

http://www.flixxy.com/ presidents-morphing.htm

Dick Monaghan thinks the Irish Barley Shakers may like this:

http://www.oneeyedparrot.org/obama.html

Tom Kyle sends the URL for a rousing song that reflects the new spirit of many Americans:

http://www.bornagainamerican.org/

On another subject entirely, here is news of interest to PC owners:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/7832652.stm

And here is a site that shows a number of world statistics which may or may not be accurate: http://www.worldometers.info/

This newsletter may also be read online at http://members.shaw.ca/ vjjsansum/ orhttp://nw-seniors.org/stories.html