Peter Balestrieri

Forty-four year-old Peter (Pete) Balestrieri, a bipolar bear, prefers a water temperature of about 50 degrees. He eats a pound of lard daily to keep his white coat shiny. Although not quite fully grown, Peter weighs approximately 800 pounds. He can be reached at peter_balestrieri@intuit.com.

ENGLISH, INC.

Dear Fellow American,

A while ago, being an American meant speaking English.

Increasingly Spanish Korean Vietnamese other languages

even in stores and restaurants.

immigrate immigrants should learn our language

elected officials our government our elected officials

erode English's role

It's no wonder that you can barely get through a day without

encountering someone who can't speak English. who refuse to learn

English.

with the dramatic increases in immigration going on now

I think it is dangerous especially with the dramatic increases in

immigration going on now.

Now don't get me wrong. I myself speak Spanish - that is my native

tongue and I enjoy using that language around my home and in many of

my business relationships.

PLEASE $15, $25, $50 or more

help to making English the one and only

Sincerely,

clearly English-speaking speaking English Americans

FORMER DEMON

Former demon sues drug-using parents

for having her snitch on suspected

"Vampire Cult"

Blood-drinking police held

Screwed up kids discuss town rituals

THIS IS THE END

In the few seconds it took you to open and begin to read this letter,

four children died from the effects of malnutrition or disease

somewhere in the world.

It's the big, wide-open world of adventure, love, opportunity and

success.

Be among the first 100 to respond to this offer and receive this

luxurious, oversized Serenity Prayer afghan.

LIVE LARGE! BLUE BALLS!

WHO SAYS MEN DON"T LIKE TO SHOP?

A FREE GIFT: THE TIME HIS AND HERS ELITE WATCH SET

the refined elegance of the TIME HIS AND HERS ELITE WATCH SET

with style and grace, the TIME HIS AND HERS ELITE WATCH SET

But the TIME HIS AND HERS ELITE WATCH SET is yours

your FREE GIFT, the TIME HIS AND HERS ELITE WATCH SET

To Have and Return

If you have and return the grand prize winning number, we'll declare

And if you do, in fact, have and return the winning number in time,

If you have and return the grand prize winning number, we'll announce

And if that winning number is, in fact, in your possession,

because if you're holding the winning number

because if you have the winning number right now,

because if you have and return the winning number, we'll declare

Poets & Doves

A fascinating hobby

Over 50 breeds

Many clubs

Good Fellowship

Fancy colors and patterns

What The Newspapers Don't Tell

Poet farms supply restaurants with delicious dark meat.

Poet manure is nearly odor-free, rich fertilizer for gardens.

Poets are very tolerant of heat and cold, can breed all year.

Poets enjoy competition in flying performance, breeding

for exhibition, buying and selling.

URGENT MESSAGE FOR PETER BALESTRIERI

Are you ready to live the high life Peter Balestrieri...

...because you have definitely won Eleven Million Dollars and all the

perks and privileges that come with such enormous wealth if you're

holding the winning entry and you return it in time!

If you have and return the winning entry, we'll say...

PETER BALESTRIERI, YOU'VE FINALLY MADE IT--

YOU'RE SET FOR LIFE WITH $11,000,000.00 GUARANTEED!

Not everyone would know what to do with such a fabulous sum, Peter

Balestrieri, but we're willing to bet that you'd have no trouble with

your choices! One thing's for sure Peter Balestrieri, the only boss

you'd have to worry about would be yourself!

Return your entry today and if it's the winner, we'll say...

ALL YOU'VE EVER WANTED AND DREAMED OF

IS NOW YOURS PETER BALESTRIERI--

THERE'S NO LIMIT TO WHAT YOU CAN DO

WITH $11,000,000.00!

And although we've awarded millions in prize money to people who've

admitted they hadn't ordered anything when they entered, I'd love to

be able to say this time, "Peter Balestrieri doesn't enter only for

the prizes. Peter Balestrieri is also a smart customer who takes

advantage of our unbeatable deals and placed an order this time!"

REAL PEOPLE - JUST LIKE PETER BALESTRIERI - REALLY DO WIN. YOU CAN

MAKE THE BALESTRIERI FAMILY DREAM COME TRUE! PETER BALESTRIERI, YOUR

ENTRY IS AWAITED!

Plan for our TV announcement:

DAVE: Congratulations, Peter Balestrieri, you've just won Eleven

Million Dollars!

Peter Balestrieri: I can't believe it. I guess I'm rich now!