Peter Balestieri reports he's a deep sea diver and wears one of those helmets. Also, his wife would rather be referred to as "a gorgeous redhead" than "professor at Stanford University." Peter can be reached at peter_balestrieri@intuit.com.






How to Get in Trouble and Stay There
(for Gilbert Roland)

Am I gonna have to start bellowing?

I've always been a Buddhist monk. Just a very bad one.

Your room smells like firecrackers.
Claire

My room smells like garlic bread.

The nose is a very deep hole. Some say it leads to the brain.

Bobby the Grocer
on Thursday
3 o'clock
behind the wall

He's the Law
All the little chicks call him Pa
Victoria Spivey (accompanied by Louis Armstrong), Funny Feathers

I am occupied, Madam, with important matters of poesy and soporifics
and do not wish to be disturbed.

Is it wrong to like silk shirts?

There's so much jasmine in the neighborhood that sometimes at night it
smells like piss.

Remember El Kabong?

I can chant like a lama. Wanna hear me?

Well, I had two steaks and I broiled them, and I pulled them out of
the oven when they were perfect, and I'm cutting off the corners that
are all fatty and charred 'cause I'm gonna eat them first, and a
perfect piece, and I mean perfect size, perfect char, perfect ratio of
fat to meat, jumps - are you listening to me - JUMPS, through the air,
into my mouth! Unbelievable!

Reality is a brand of female condom.

The Ghost of Widow's Peak

Get away from me before I kill you!

The trouble with Poet
is how do you know it's
deceased?
Try some Priest!
Len Cariou and Angela Lansbury, "Little Priest," in Sweeney Todd

There are a lot of people who break their backs to make a living and
it's up to everyone else to respect that and act accordingly.

Why do you wear sunglasses to brush your teeth?
It amuses me.

My room smells like onion soup.

Poetry, as always, can be found where it doesn't belong.

What would've happened if they knew the gun wasn't loaded?
It woulda been Saturday night in Sioux City!
The Walsh Boy and John Wayne in Angel and the Badman

Whenever I wear my suit, people say "What's going on?"
Sure, it's like walking around with a gun in your hand.

I guess God doesn't want me to eat curried goat.

I'm sorry if I was rude back there.
You were rude. We're all rude nowadays. It doesn't matter.
Somebody and Olivia DeHavilland in To Each His Own

It was the brutalest accident I've ever seen and I've seen a lot.
Mr. Wordsworth of Byron (thanks Claire)

My room smells like warm toast.

Look at his face! Look at his face!!


*******


The Fatal Glass Of Beer

Gee Mom, robots can like other robots can't they?
Elroy Jetson, The Jetsons

There are lots more important things than being right.

The Roman harvest goddess, Ceres, was said to have inaugurated the
eating of pigs in reprisal for their trampling a field of corn.
The Book of Pork

Saint Henry Ford was a rich man who gave his company to the workers
and became the janitor of a church.

Humans in outer space are like rats floating across a river on a piece
of wood so they can find corn to eat and babies to bite.

D.O.A. new T.V. series...live rescues that fail...the faces, the
voices ...the dead

There's Scott Joplin music in Ruggles of Red Gap, when Ruggles and
Sourdough visit Nell's party.

You're not really a moron. I just said that to hurt your feelings.

I was raised on lots of food.
Eatin' like a bird considered rude.
If the food tastes good, then eat a lot.
If you get a big gut...so what.
Eatin' like a pig, eatin' like a pig,
Eatin' like a p-i-g.
Eatin' like a p-i, p-i, p-i,
Eatin' like a p-i-g.

Scott Joplin music plays in the Son of Kong bar scene when Denham and
Capt. Engelhoffer meet the Norwegian skipper who provided the info on
Kong.

I aint promisin' nothin' lady! Not with a bunch of extra-terrestials
workin' for me back at the plant.
robot businessman, The Jetsons

Cook him a turkey and stuff it with rabbit.
Clark Gable in Band of Angels

Cop asks Homeless, Did you see anything?
Homeless answers, I saw St. Francis of Assisi. He told me to keep up
the good work.
Law and Order

There's a Native American game called Atowi. Yell "Atowi" and kick
someone in the ass.

If you resent my having money, start a revolution, but get off my
back.
Don Taylor in Stalag 17

It's when you run away you're most liable to stumble.
Torin Thatcher in Snows of Kilimanjaro

When you try to pick it up, it falls apart.

Mars? I was supposed to go to Grandma's!
Bobby, Bobby's World

I don't think I could take Mars, Henry. Those little green bosses are
murder.
George Jetson, The Jetsons

That's one kiss you won't wipe off.
Jean Arthur to the dead Gary Cooper in The Plainsman

Romance novels are unique in that they promote human sexuality in a
healthy, binding, and self-accepting way.
Olivia Rupprecht, author of Love
Slave
Take them to the MARTIAN Prison.
Frederic MARCH as MARCUS in The Sign of the Cross

Edgar Allen Po was Chinese-American. He wrote children's stories and
lived to be 103.

Did you know elephants will eat marijuana until they can't stand up?

General Georgia Washington was an African-American woman from
Virginia. She was a lesbian and the mother of her country.

And there came a voice to him, Rise, Peter; kill, and eat.
The Acts of the Apostles
Chapter 10, Verse 13
The Bible

Houston, Texas - Macabre poem has professors on edge
Stan Siegel: "My main reaction was then and still is anger. To be
threatened like this is unconscionable."

You're the meanest nice person I've ever known.

Ron Howard whistles Scott Joplin music in The Shootist.

West Lafayette, Ind. -AP- A 40-pound mushroom that was going to be
dried and stored at Purdue University as an educational specimen was
instead sauteed in butter and eaten by three scientists.

Merrill's Marauders - Wounded soldier screams, "Did Lemchek make it?
I saw him get hit! Poor Lemchek." Wounded soldier dies. Medic says,
"He's dead." General asks, "Did Lemchek make it?" Medic says, "He's
Lemchek."





Lover's Poetry

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Poppies

Thank you Mr. Balestrieri, for remembering America's heroes! Mr. Balestrieri: The poppy has become the true symbol of all those who have given their lives in our nation's wars. Many wounded soldiers get morphine for pain, too. Please use these flowers of joy, God's own medicine, waking sleep. They're absolutely FREE, with no cost or obligation. Thanks for caring about America's veterans.




Peter Balestrieri

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