G. P. Skratz

G. P. Skratz (gpskratz@aol.com) performs poetry & music with Arundo, twisted folk song with Smooth Toad & rock'n'roll with the Serfs in Oakland, CA. He ghost-wrote the 3 stooges bio, Larry/The Stooge In The Middle, which is back in print from Last Gasp.

POLYPHEMUS

"& there’s more, more wine for Polyphemus,
he’ll drink as much as he can;
& there’s more, more wine for Polyphemus,
son of Neptune & brother of Zuban!"
--Hash Flash

Polyphemus lies down on his couch,
watches TV, is TV,
twin towers fall down, fall down, fall down,
switches the channel:

Howdy Doody: Buffalo Bob sings "Absolutely Sweet Marie."
Captain Midnight: has the lovesick blues.
Burns & Allen: George uncovers Gracie’s plot to replace his carpet by spying from his TV in the den & puts his foot down but has to lift it when they take out the old carpet.
Twilight Zone: Giant ondt eats small town; gracehoper beats speed of light.

Polyphemus lies down on his couch,
watches TV, is TV,
twin towers fall down, fall down, fall down,
switches the channel:

O not for me the crimson glory of the fire truck,
nor e’en the shiny silver of the law,
but drape me in the sturdy grays,
the honest garb,
of those who take the garbage out.

Polyphemus lies down on his couch,
watches TV, is TV,
twin towers fall down, fall down, fall down,
switches the channel:

The Vice President was scheduled to do a news conference, but he was in the hospital having one of his heart attacks. The White House called the Kelly Girl Agency, & right away, Grandfather Coyote was rocketing toward Washington, DC, propelled by his mighty farts.

"My, Grandfather, what long teeth you have," cackled Helen Thomas.

"All the better to cut the budget," snapped Grandfather Coyote, posing as the V.P. "Now I have one for you: why do reporters eat shit?"

"I don’t know, Grandfather; I give up," shot back Sam Donaldson, ABC News. "Why do reporters eat shit?"

"Because an anonymous source told them it was chocolate ice cream."

Everyone laughed & laughed, & the folks at the Kelly Girl Agency were sure glad they’d hired Grandfather Coyote.

"Grandfather! Grandfather!" boomed young buck John King, CNN, after he’d caught his breath: "Why is the President handing out so much money to his campaign contributors while the growing numbers of the unemployed are left with expiring benefits?"

Grandfather Coyote scratched his balls & meditated awhile. The press corps oohed & ahhed over his mighty erection…

Polyphemus lies down on his couch,
watches TV, is TV,
twin towers fall down, fall down, fall down,
switches the channel:

Mountain igniteth, tree standeth not
erect on earth, moon falleth,
shriveled river runneth nowhere,
stone standeth not, gone the smoky sky....
Now the broad plain all of it burning,
into fire into wind is all of it taken.
Now where is the boundary
man fought for by brothers?