Deborah Kilgore (kilgore@acad.stedwards.edu) lives in Austin, TX where she can sometimes be heard at Cafe Solaire. She has new work in forthcoming issues of Poet Lore and Sulphur River Review.








Flightline

sometimes I worry i've been sucked
into the dawn's early light

this world was made for guys I think
I must have some guy in me somewhere
not down there mother said Be Careful
you'll be ruined down there. but I don't think
I was ruined in that ft. sumter holiday inn

I wonder early evening the air
is bluegray and I was standing
on the flightline with all the other
khaki antifaggots and they
weren't staring at me for once or
asking for my ID because you need a
special card to get near the warmachine
you might throw a pigeon into a
precious engine by accident.
well they're yours, citizen,
except you need this special card to be
up close and personal-like or some
boffo ged'd superman will be kickin your
ass to the ground and putting an M16 to
your head even if you are a girl

probably especially if you are
they always drive by in the truck a load
of em to stare at the girl with hair in her eyes,
but she doesn't want to take her sunglasses off
she remembers her earplugs too because
you're in the airforce now and they fine you
if you don't take care she makes
this mental check is everything screwed on?

sometimes I worry that the bombs
bursting caused my deafness

so i'm wondering what am i doing
in a south carolina motel with a minor
league ball player who explains his significance
but when he says 'my trailer' I figure he's not
quite the big time yet and i'm thinking
if I don't screw him does this mean i'm cold?

enveloped in warm dusk we stood each alone -
no one staring at any one, just a hundred
crescents in a hundred heads paused
to watch these beautiful gray birds unhinged
from their moorings and the crew chief salutes
as he gives the tires a last kick

it must be noisy outside these plugs -
great orange plumes, but it seems peaceful
as they roll down the runway and into the night.




Deborah Kilgore

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