Jennifer Lagier

Jennifer Lagier is former co-chair of the National Writers Union, Local

7, and is a member of the Italian American Writers Association. She

teaches Internet Literacy and Web Authoring courses at Hartnell College

and California State University, Monterey Bay and can be reached at

pcmc@igc.org.

None of the Above

I'm still waiting

for the one

that speaks fluent feminist,

supports reproductive rights,

wears a pink triangle,

represents an ethnic minority,

and spends a few hours

each week in a grammar school classroom

as a volunteer aide.

This candidate

carried a picket sign

and wrote letters

during and after the Gulf War,

said no thanks to yellow ribbonism,

and publicly deplores

the continuing slaughter.

While the white boys

from prep school

pander at the temple

of corporate dollars,

my choice

worries about the working poor,

condemns sexual harassment,

favors free speech

and lobbies to cut

the military budget in half,

serves mercy meals

to the sick and homeless,

works to insure safe,

affordable childcare.

The minimum qualifications

I demand include

firm connections with reality

and a functional backbone.

Jennifer Lagier