Dinty W. Moore is the author of _The Emperor's Virtual Clothes: The Naked Truth About Internet Culture_, (Algonquin Books, 1995) and has published prose and poetry in The Iowa Review, Pig Iron, The Georgia Review, The Southern Review, the New York Times, Controlled Burn, and a host of other outlets, big and small. He is currently working on a book exploring Buddhism in the American Heartland. He welcomes e-mail at dwm7@psu.edu. His name really is Dinty Moore.



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ONE EVENING AFTER A DHARMA TALK
AT THE WICHITA ZEN CENTER

Candidate Dole asks Zen Master Roko-shi
"What is my true nature?"

Roko-shi holds up a hungry child
asks, "What is this?"

Bob Dole answers
"The failure of the welfare state?"

Roko-shi hits Dole with a zen stick
"You are too attached to words."

Roko-shi then holds up a homeless woman
asks, "What is this?"

Bob Dole answers
"Nothing at all?"

Roko-shi hits Dole twice more
"You are too attached to emptiness."

Bob Dole frowns
He does not like Zen

Roko-shi lifts his zen stick higher
"I will now explain karma."

Roko-shi weeps asses and elephants
and hits Bob Dole thirty times

In this way, the presumptive candidate
is enlightened





Dinty Moore

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