John Stickney

John reports he's "that other John Stickney, from Cleveland, Ohio".

His second collection of poetry is THESE AMERICAN MOMENTS, and he can be

reached at jjstick@stratos.net.

PRESIDENTAL ZEN: Six Poems

(with apologies to Ko Un)

(1) Old Presidents

Hey, were you talking about old Presidents?

Why, old Presidents are no President.

Real President's a cigar just unwrapped

Savored, awaiting the flame.

(2) A Ground Ball Through The Hole

Aha, real President's out of doors.

The future world?

It's opening like this:

partly inside partly outside.

And all the long long day

We wear our rally caps.

(3) Washington, DC

Jails are crammed full of great Presidents.

Killer-and-thief, extortionist-and-arsonist,

Would be racketeer and drug lord and all the rest.

Federal, state and local jail crammed full

But in every room in the White House

No great President

Not even the second cousin

Bombs always falling everywhere.

(4) Fashion

Hey! With the guy you dug out

I fashioned a President.

It rained.

The President shed his suit,

turned back into a certain barnyard animal.

Pray for clear skies until November.

(5) A Flash Flood

Several billion Presidents washed out

Of hiding, busy climbing.

In addition to this Presidential

Motorcade

In the flotsam, other candidates

for even lower offices.

(6) 3 President 3

At noon three Presidents sit side by side.

Not a word about

What this world was like!

What this world was like!

Yesterday's Presidents' like to forget.

Too early yet for next year's President.

The best time of year!

OUR REVOLUTIONS REDUCED TO TELEGRAMS

DUE TO LATE INVITATION TO YOUR REVOLUTION REGRET CANNOT ATTEND STOP I HAVE

ANOTHER COMMITMENT FOR THE SAME DATE STOP I WISH YOU SUCCESS IN YOUR NEW

WORLD ORDER STOP GOOD LUCK STOP

DEEPLY GRIEVED TO LEARN OF THE WITHERING AWAY OF YOUR STATE STOP PLEASE

ACCEPTING OUR MOST SINCERE CONDOLENCES STOP WE SYMPATHIZE WITH YOUR SENSE

OF LOSS BUT HOPE TO FACE THE FUTURE WITH YOU SHOULDER TO SHOULDER STOP

PLEASE CONFIRM TO EXCHANGE TOP SECRET DATA INSIDE A WATERMELON STOP HOW

IS A GOOD WATERMELON SUPPOSED TO SOUND STOP THUMP THUMP OR PLATT PLATT STOP

THANK YOU FOR YOUR INVITATION TO WITNESS THE TRIUMPH OF THE PROLETARIAT

STOP UNFORTUNATELY THE RUNNING DOGS HAVE BROKEN THEIR CHAINS STOP THERE IS

HELL TO PAY IF THEY RUIN THE NEIGHBORS GARDENS STOP I WILL NOT REST UNTIL

CAPTURE STOP

COMPLYING WITH YOUR REQUEST TO INFORM ON MY PARENTS STOP YES THEY ARE

ENEMIES OF THE STATE STOP STINGY WITH MONEY TOO STOP AND THE ROOM IS NEVER

CLEAN ENOUGH TO SUIT THEM STOP

REGRET UNABLE TO ATTEND CONFERENCE OWING TO MY IMPENDING COMA STOP

THANK YOU FOR MY ALL EXPENSE PAID HOLIDAY IN YOUR GULAG STOP PLEASE

FORWARD MY TOES TO THE ADDRESS ENCLOSED STOP

VERY GRATEFUL FOR YOUR INVITATION TO BEHEADING STOP REGRET TO INFORM YOU I

WILL NEED USE OF HEAD FOR A FEW MORE YEARS STOP

URGENTLY SENDING YOU TELEGRAM BEFORE THERE IS THE NECESSARY ELECTRICITY

STOP WILL PROBABLY THROW ROCKS STOP OUCH STOP

THINK YOU SHOULD RECONSIDER YOUR PLEDGE THAT THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE

TELEVISED STOP THE OPPORTUNITIES IN THE PAY FOR VIEW CABLE FIELD ARE

ASTOUNDING STOP NIKE STOP INTEL STOP MICROSOFT STOP JUST FEW OF PLAYERS

HAPPY TO ANTE UP STOP IMAGINE TSHIRT SALES VIDEO GAME SOUNDTRACK CD STOP

Point Of Order

(Slowly, as if talking to a child:)

No,

first

the debauchery

then

the inquisition.

(Reluctantly, putting the iron tongs away until later.)

John Stickney