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IN THIS ISSUE

• Kate Brookfield begins the story of another expedition
• Dick Monaghan prefers discreet service in restaurants
• Crime statistics remain remarkably steady
• Don Henderson tells of a five-year-old´s first job
• Bruce Galway sends the story of a free haircut
• Sites are recommended by Bill McNair, Kate, and Tom Kyle

Kate Brookfield begins the story of their trip to

GREEN ISLAND, TAIWAN

As it was not possible to celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary with our family, we decided to do a special trip to mark the occasion. Michael did some internet surfing and came back with the idea that it would be nice to go to Orchid Island, Lanyu, about 70 km off the east coast of Taiwan. The printout made the place sound attractive, not overcrowded, with nice beaches and opportunities for snorkelling, and an opportunity to meet the aboriginal peoples of Taiwan. Then I did some web browsing and discovered that Orchid Island is a nuclear dump for both China and Taiwan.

The island is home for the Yami, an aboriginal tribe of Polynesian descent, with its own distinct language and culture. They call the island ´Pongso No Tao´, which means ´The Island of the People´. During the Japanese occupation of Taiwan they were left undisturbed; the Japanese respected and admired their unique ancient customs. But after the Chinese Revolution and when Chiang Kai-shek came to power, great efforts were made to make the Yami integrate into Chinese culture. Boatloads of mainland Chinese were sent to the island with the hope they would intermarry. But the Yami resisted all attempts at changing them until the last half of the 20th century.

Government regulations and interventions from Taiwan and mainland China changed life for the Yami. Missionaries came, Taiwan made it a tourist resort, and the Chinese mainland government demolished their traditional underground homes and they were forced to live in poorly- constructed concrete houses that could not withstand the typhoons that regularly hit the island.

Finally, without asking or warning the Yami people, China decided to dump its nuclear waste on Orchid Island. Huge tankers arrived with barrels of nuclear waste. It was a Presbyterian minister who drew attention to this and started a world-wide protest. Furthermore, it was reported that some of the concrete containers have cracked and that the barrels are leaking out nuclear waste. Green Peace is active in this area and although negotiations have been made to stop the dumping, according to my research, it is still going on. For people who rely on the sea for their main source of food, it is a human disaster area. I feel very sorry for these people and am interested in their culture and their struggles, but decided it was better to change our plans for this trip. My political activism has been put on hold, but I will, for sure, be keeping myself informed of progress in stopping using this small island for storing vast amounts of nuclear waste.

The above tells you about where we did not go and why. I thought readers would be interested in knowing about the plight of the Yami people on Orchid Island. We decided to go to Green Island, also known as ´Fire Island´, which is not too far from Orchid Island, but only 33 km from the east coast of Taiwan.

Less than a week after our road trip down the south-east coast, we were off again for a five-day break. This time, we took the train from Taipei to Taitung. It was interesting to see from the train some of the places we had visited on our previous trip. In just over four hours, we were in Taitung. We were met by a mass of people holding signs with names of their clients. One sign stood out among the rest, which were all in Chinese characters: is just said MICHAEL. The driver was to take us to the ferry.

As he had to wait for two more passengers, we spent a good half hour watching the life around the railway station of this seaside and fishing resort. There was a large square with picnic tables and souvenir shops and fast-food places on three sides of the square. On the open side, across the footpath was a line of women all selling the same green fruit that I have never seen before. I learned later that it is called the Buddha fruit. I asked a man who was eating one the name of it, and his wife went and bought us one. When it is cut, the fruit resembles a pomegranate in structure, with many seeds, each covered in fleshy fruit. The seeds are black and about the size of watermelon seeds. The fruit around the seeds is whitish green and tastes as bit like mango, but not quite as sweet. People were buying boxes of the fruit and I think it must be local to Taitung area as I have not seen it in the markets in Taipei.

The other passengers arrived and we were driven to the harbour where the ferry was just returning, so we had to wait for the returning passengers to disembark, doubling the throng of folks.

It was hot so I moved away from the crowd to wait. A local man, possibly an aboriginal person, was watching the crowd, holding a bicycle. I suddenly noticed that on each hand, the nail of his small finger was about eight inches long, maybe longer. I don´t think it had ever been cut. It was revolting and made me feel quite sick. Later, I asked a Chinese friend about this and she said some people feel that it is a protection against harm. I wasn´t sure if she meant it was a weapon to attack anybody who tried to harm him, or if it was a superstition, as she went on to say that he thinks when the fingernail is broken he will die. Back in Taipei, I saw a young woman on the MRT with really long nails on her small fingers. She was very fashionably dressed and the long nails were manicured and painted. On each tip there seemed to be a small pearl stuck on the nail. It was not attractive to me, but I am old-fashioned and I see nothing aesthetic in body piercing, tattoos, and certainly not long fingernails that look like eagles´ claws.

To be continued.

Dick Monaghan only wants waiters to

JUST TAKE MY ORDER

I read that Mad King Ludwig of Bavaria had all his meals delivered on tables that either descended from the ceiling or came up through the floor, fully set. When I saw this, I considered it a charming eccentricity, but now I know how he felt.

When we go to restaurants, I would like the help to just come up to the table silently, deliver the menu, perhaps ask if anyone would like a drink (I would tell them, if they didn´t ask), disappear into the shadows long enough (but not longer) for us to read the menu, return with notepad at the ready, listen to us give our orders, then disappear just long enough for the food to be prepared, return to serve it, then leave again - silently.

This isn´t what happens. We are greeted loudly with false cheer and camaraderie, "How are you guys tonight?" (My wife is intensely put off by being addressed as "you guys.") First of all, I have lingering doubts about the staff giving a damn about how we are, and anyway, it´s none of their business.

Next comes a recital of the "Specials," complete with inflated adjectives: "Tonight the chef has prepared a delicious patty of le boeuf moudre avec fromage et jambon, served on a big ol´ Kaiser roll." In other words, a bacon cheeseburger "best accompanied by an amusing Burgundy."

Can´t the restaurant just put a note in the menu?

When we eventually get the food, we can´t get more than two bites of it before either a waitress or the manager, smiling as though they´d been stuck with curare darts, sails up to the table and wants to know if "everything is tasting all right?" I yearn to stand, go nose to nose, and say that if it didn´t, I would overturn my plate on their heads. I don´t, of course, but I´d like to.

I think all of this comes from restaurant owners going to seminars, where highly-paid "consultants" tell them what increases the tab and the return rate of customers. I can´t say they´re wrong - except in my case.

No wonder our freezer creaks with its load of frozen dinners, which I serve my wife after inquiring how she is and describing her choices in ignorant French. Our dining experience may lack exotic ambience, but the music is a hell of a lot better than in any restaurant I know.

In spite of the alarm expressed by members of Parliament and the media about a drastic rise in crime in Canada, figures released by Statistics Canada do not support that contention. Here the main points of a recent report are summarized by Mia Dauvergne and Leonardo De Socio:

FIREARMS AND VIOLENT CRIME

"Police reported 8,105 victims of firearm-related violent crime in 2006. The rate of firearm-related victimization remained stable for the fourth consecutive year.

"The large majority of police-reported violent crimes do not involve a firearm. In 2006, a firearm was used against 2.4% of victims of violent crime. Physical force and threatening behaviour were much more common, accounting for three-quarters of all victimizations.

"As with the overall trend, the rates of firearm-related crime among major crime categories, such as homicide, attempted murder and robbery, have remained stable in recent years.

"Victims of robbery and assault accounted for about three-quarters of the total number of firearm-related victimizations in 2006. Although the incidence of attempted murder and homicide was much lower, a firearm was used against approximately one-third of victims of these offences, substantially higher than the proportions of robbery (14%) and assault (1%).

"Similar to the trend in violent crime in general, firearm-related violent crime rates were higher in western Canada than in the east. The 2006 rates reported in Saskatchewan and Manitoba were 2 to 3 times higher than those in Newfoundland and Labrador, Prince Edward Island, and New Brunswick.

"The rates of firearm-related violent crime in 2006 were highest in the larger census metropolitan areas of Vancouver, Winnipeg, and Toronto and lowest in the smaller areas of Trois-Rivières and Sherbrooke.

"The rate of youth accused of firearm-related violent crime increased in 3 of the past 4 years. Year-to-year fluctuations in the rate of youth accused were driven primarily by incidents of firearm-related robberies.

"Persons convicted of a firearm-related violent offence were sentenced to an average of 4.2 years in prison, double the average custodial sentence length for those convicted of a non-firearm violent offence."

Don Henderson tells the story of

A FIVE-YEAR-OLD´S FIRST JOB

Here´s a truly heart-warming story about the bond formed between a little five-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew began to build a house on the empty lot. The young family´s five-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in the goings-on and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough," more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her during coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother, who suggested that she take her ten dollars "pay" she´d received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay cheque at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Home Hardware ever deliver the f**kin´ sheet rock...."

Kind of brings a tear to the eye, doesn´t it?

Bruce Galway forwards this one:

THE HAIRCUT

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asks about his bill, and the barber replies, "I cannot accept money from you - I´m doing community service this week." The florist is pleased, and leaves the shop. When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning, there is a "thank you" card, and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a policeman comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you - I´m doing community service this week." The policeman is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a "thank you" card, and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you - I´m doing community service this week." The professor is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a "thank you" card, and a dozen different books, including "How to Improve Your Business" and "Becoming More Successful".

Then a politician comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you - I´m doing community service this week." The MP is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are ... a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the members of our government.

THIS WEEK´S SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Bill McNair recommends the anti-spyware program Ad Aware 2007, which has taken off well over a hundred hackers, trojans, and diallers from his PC. It is available for download, free, at this site:

http://www.pcworld.com/downloads/file/fid,7423-order,1-page,1-c,antispywaretools/description.html or http://tiny.cc/QhnjG

Kate Brookfield suggests this video, which shows the remarkable rapport between a girl and her dog:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0jNC_w1tSw

Tom Kyle sends this example of morphing, which may give you a glimpse of your favourite actress:

http://glumbert.com/wii/view.php?name=womenfilm

Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened. - Terry Pratchett