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IN THIS ISSUE

• Geoff Goodship tells about one of his lifelong enthusiasms
• Canadian grandmothers help grandmothers in Africa
• Sheila Laidlaw and Bill McNair send letters
• Marilyn Magid forwards an article about menopause
• Tom Williamson´s story tells of one man´s ploys to avoid shopping
• Sharon Graham sends a story of an unusual reward

Geoff Goodship could have written many pages on this subject, but he restrained himself:

OLD GUYS AND MOTORCYCLES

It´s that time of year. You see them everywhere. At least half of them have beards and/or a mustache. One in five has shoulder-length hair. What identifies them more than any other feature is leather - black leather: jackets, pants, vests, gloves, all part of a loosely- defined uniform. There´s a brotherhood here.

A friend of mine owned an Indian motorcycle, a four-cylindered monster that probably weighed as much as a pick-up truck. He let me ride it, once. I wasn´t old enough to have a licence. My ride didn´t last long. Fortunately I fell off in a grassy area on my first attempt to turn. My friend lifted that monster off me and I crawled out with scrapes and a new level of interest in motorcycles. Right then and there I was hooked.

My first bike was much smaller, a 250 BSA. I needed cheap transportation back and forth to university. It´s quite different to ride a bike in good weather than in the Vancouver rain, let alone snow. Many´s the morning I arrived at lectures cold soaking wet, leaving a water trail dripping on the floor behind me. I had to explain myself several times.

I´ve never recovered from that first encounter with a motorcycle. I met my wife on a motorcycle ride. She was desperate to get to a skiing event on Mount Baker, sufficiently so to climb aboard, close her eyes, and hang on. We had a great weekend. She taught me to ski and I taught her to hang on. We´re still riding together 52 years later.

Turn the clock ahead a couple of years from university days and we were still riding that tired old 250 BSA. Soon something came between us - our first child. Even though I was moving forward and she was moving back, that cycle kept getting shorter. My mother came to her grandchild´s rescue. She found a buyer for the bike in trade for our first small car, a Morris Minus. I was without a bike for a few years after that. Still, my love affair with a bike wasn´t over. I bought my next bike, an ex-police 350 AJ Stevens when we lived in West Africa. It provided great air conditioning in Ghana´s heat and humidity.

I kind of understand why old guys ride bikes. For some it´s a few hours of recaptured youth: you forget the office; it´s the wind whistling past your ears; it´s the lean you put into a curve to counter centrifugal force. You can´t lean a car in a curve. It´s all that power, and particularly for Harley riders, it´s the thumping sound and vibration of a power to weight to noise ratio.

Many of these old geezers are remarkable riders. Do you know about the "Iron Butt Association"? The 34,000+ members of the IBA are dedicated to safe, long-distance motorcycle riding, such as "the Saddle Sore 1000" (1000 miles in 24 hours), the "Bun Burner 1500" (1500 miles in 24 or 36 hours), and the "50cc Quest" (coast-to- coast in 50 hours). Check out http://www.ironbutt.com/about/default.cfm.

Who among Tale Spinner´s readers has not seen the annual "teddy bear ride," in which 20-200 riders collect toys for kids. It´s just an excuse for another ride with the herd. If you really want to see a phenomenally large herd, head to Sturgis, North Dakota. On August 4 it´s the 68th annual Sturgis Rally. Sturgis is a relatively small community with a year-round population of about 6,700, in a state that has just under 782,000 people. But in August the Sturgis Rally adds 500,000 plus, almost doubling the size of the state and encompassing much of South Dakota´s Black Hills.

Don´t call cycle riders a fringe element. The fringe is too deep for that, and don´t try to find an occupational cohort for these guys. They come from all walks of life and several continents: tinkers, tailors, soldiers, sailors, doctors, lawyers, Indian chiefs. And its not all geezers. There´s a growing number of chicks riding in that herd, who might also be tinkers, tailors, etc.

To put a little snuff in your reading material check out http://www.sturgismotorcyclerally.com/welcome.php. You´re never too old to learn something new or appreciate a different cultural event.

This comment by M. Partridge appeared about an article in the NYT about seniors giving back to their communities:

GRANDMOTHERS´ CAMPAIGN

In Canada (which has a population one-tenth the size of America), a network of grandmothers´ groups works to raise funds for grass-roots organizations in sub-Saharan Africa, in support of grandmothers there who are raising their grandchildren who have been orphaned as a result of the AIDS epidemic. The Grandmothers Campaign, which is entirely volunteer-based, was initiated by the Stephen Lewis Foundation. In just two years, the Campaign has grown to over 200 groups across the country, involving over 5,000 women, and has raised $3 million. Redefining the term "grannies", many of the women in the movement have retired from professional careers, bringing to the campaign skills and expertise that our mothers and grandmothers probably only read about. At this point in our lives, when we have time to give, when our own grandchildren have everything they need, when grandmothers and grandchildren in Africa need everything, why would we not put those skills to use?

http://www.grandmotherscampaign.org www.stephenlewisfoundation.org

CORRESPONDENCE

Bill McNair writes: I recently listened to an interview of the CEO of General Motors, who was being interviewed about the gas shortage and what the American automobile industry is going to do about it. He said, "We are all ready to go with a car that has a small gas engine (3 cylinders) and an electric engine, but the problem is two-fold: there needs to be electrical chargers in service stations; and the other problem is the batteries. There just aren´t enough of them, nor is there a big enough production of them, and we need far better batteries than those that exist now."

As I see it, there is no reason for the Canadian government to prevent the sale of the electrical vehicles made or assembled in Quebec. They could be sold so that they are used solely for use in urban areas (their maximum speed is 50 kpm and they have only 80 km maximum distance). Increased sales would drop the cost of these electrical cars too. Let´s face it: many of us use our vehicles about 80% of the time only in our urban areas. Companies could install chargers in their employee parking lots, as far north grocery stores do for their customers here in Canada.

Sheila Laidlow writes: I seem to be almost over the avalanche of spamming messages (all "undeliverable mail") which were coming in at a rate up to 4000 in the morning and another 4000 by the evening for several days! Today´s total was only 19 so things are almost back to normal. I am open to receiving regular mail again - I hope!

ED. NOTE: I too have been receiving an unprecedented number of spam letters every day for a couple of weeks, though nothing to compare with the number Sheila received. This is a graphic reminder that when we forward things with other people´s addresses showing, we should delete them before hitting the forward button. And when we send mail to a number of addresses, all but the original address should be in the Blind Checking Copy (Bcc) line, not the Checking Copy (CC) line. Gerrit de Leeuw even suggests putting all the addresses in the Bcc line. There are always people looking for live addresses who harvest them from careless forwards and other sources, and sell them to spammers. For your own sake, and that of your correspondents, delete all those addresses!

Marilyn Magid forwards this reflection on

MID-LIFE CRISIS

I´ve seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be. Puhleeeeeeeze! I´ve had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60, (or maybe even just pushing your luck), you´ll probably relate.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache. In mid-life, women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts; we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around. Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell, and those will too."

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we´re sitting on our biggest ones. Mid-life is when you look at your know- it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks?" In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact, the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally - more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Ontario. Mid-life means that you become more reflective ... you start pondering the "big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it´s no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we´ve acquired. That´s my philosophy and I´m sticking to it!

Send this to four women and you will lose two pounds. Send this to all the women you know (or ever knew), and you will lose 10 pounds. If you delete this message, you will gain 10 pounds immediately. (That´s why I had to pass this on - I didn´t want to risk deleting this.)

Life is uncertain ... eat dessert first!

Tom Williamson forwards this oldie that is well worth repeating:

THIS IS WHY YOU DON´T TAKE MEN TO THE STORE WITH YOU

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her shopping trips. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from a local department store:

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people´s carts when they weren´t looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5- minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women´s restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he´d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can´t you people just leave me alone?"

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practised his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, "OH NO! IT´S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There´s no toilet paper in here."

Regards,Tom Richards, manager

Sharon Graham forwards the story of

THE REWARD

A filthy-rich North Carolina man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours. He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighbourhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters, and BBQ and flirting with all the women. At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 10-foot man-eating ´gator in my pool and I´ll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in." The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!

Leroy was fighting the ´gator and kicking its ass!

Leroy was jabbing the ´gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the ´gator on the tail and flipping the ´gator through the air like some kind of judo instructor. The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the ´gator were screaming and raising hell.

Finally Leroy strangled the ´gator and let it float to the top like a dime-store goldfish. Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

Finally the host says, "Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars."

"No, that´s okay. I don´t want it," said Leroy.

The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?"

"No thanks, I don´t want it," answered Leroy.

The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?"

Again Leroy said no.

Confused, the rich man asked, "Well, Leroy, then what do you want?"

Leroy said, "I want the name of the sumbich who pushed me in the pool!"

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Bruce Galway forwards this URL for a simple way to peel a hard-boiled egg:

http://arunaurl.com/2h3a

Zvonko Springer sends this URL for pictures of a hummingbird´s nest and the birth of her babies. Be sure to click on NEXT PAGE at the bottom of each page:

http://community.webtv.net/Velpics/HUM

The last picture shows how small the nest really is.

For earlier pictures of a hummingbird´s next, see

http://community-2.webtv.net/hotmail.com/verle33/HummingBirdNest/page5.html

Peace, to have meaning for many who have known only suffering in both peace and war, must be translated into bread or rice, health and education, as well as freedom and human dignity. - Ralph Johnson Bunche