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IN THIS ISSUE

• Louise Kruithof writes about her everyday life in Xining, China
• Pat Moore visits schools in China
• Carol Hansen reminds us of Joe, the lawyer
• Bruce Galway forwards a number of random thoughts
• Zvonko Springer sends a story about a talking dog
• Barbara Wear and Pat Moore suggest websites

Louise Kruithof describes some of her daily routine in

CHINA

We have been in China for six weeks now, and life has become somewhat routine. Only when someone new comes on the scene - someone who has not been to China before - does one can see things from a totally different perspective. What has become routine is totally new again. So this will be a bit choppy and maybe all over the place, but I would like to take you on a tour of this city, Xining.

The city has a population of over two million inhabitants but is considered a small to medium city. As with many other cities in China, there are always construction projects going on. Roads are built or rebuilt; apartment towers are demolished and rebuilt; stores are being demolished, to be replaced by other stores with different set-ups. Everyone is busy, the people are very industrious. The philosophy is that it is better to have a low-paying job doing manual labour than to be at home doing nothing, so a large proportion of the work is done by hand.

In Canada, if we are to do a large excavation we just call for a bulldozer or a backhoe or some other large piece of machinery to do it quickly and efficiently. Here, where one would expect the backhoe, there are 10 or 12 sometimes more people working with shovels and pick axes. One morning, while walking to my Chinese teacher, I saw eight people coming out of a small van and bringing out their own shovels to work on the road. I still can´t figure out how the people and the tools (long handled shovels) all fitted into this vehicle.

Chinese teacher? you say. Yes, I have been taking Mandarin lessons since a few weeks after we arrived. I can now express some concepts in Mandarin, and ask for some things, and most important find out how much something costs. This is paradise for someone like me who loves to bargain. In the large department stores it is not possible to do so but one can buy nearly everything from vendors, either on the street or in stalls lined up in an alleyway.

Back to the everyday life of this one person. We get up at 6:30, which is soooo early for me, but once I am up, the world is my oyster. Breakfast is at 7:00 downstairs. We get the coupons for breakfast in the evening and just present them at the dining room. What is for breakfast? In exchange for the tickets we get a plate, a paper napkin and a set of chopsticks. Then we can start helping ourselves to the food. First there is a platter with cucumbers marinated with garlic, then some rice noodles, then shredded cabbage in a vinaigrette of some sort. Next are slices of bread for the Westerners who wish to have toast. Everything is pretty well the same every day with minor changes. This morning, after the bread, there was honeycomb cake, quite nice and fluffy, then something that looks like jelly roll, then something that looks like pita bread, and that was followed by some steam trays with Chinese cabbage, chopped-up cauliflower, steamed bread (very tasty), steamed bread stuffed with pork, some pastry filled with spinach, eggs which have been hard boiled in tea, what looks like Spam cut in slices, little squares of bread called French toast, ears of corn cut in two pieces.

After all that, the mood changes: there are two or three larger crock pots with ladles: rice congee, millet congee, some bean curd this morning. Sometimes there is hot and sour soup or other soup. Congee is a very watery version of pudding with no sugar added. Condiments to make any of these offerings hot or hotter are there for the picking. Finally, around the corner there are two containers with white stuff, then the coffee pot and cups, and finally a tray with fruits, the fruits being watermelon (always) and sometimes cherry tomatoes with the watermelon.

Back to the two containers with white stuff: one is milk and there is a card beside it that says so in Chinese characters. The other one is full of some sort of white liquid the nature of which still has to be determined. The first day, hubby looked, and not knowing any different, poured some of the other white stuff into his coffee and said it tasted terrible. I felt very smug because I had read the Chinese sign with cow´s milk on it. I showed him what it looked like and it did not happen again.

What I forgot to talk about is the yogurt, which is forever present in this part of China. It is offered at breakfast in the hotel but is always placed a bit behind everything else. Now we know so we each get one every morning. The best quality yogurt is made (so we are told) with yak milk. It is more expensive but it has a really nice taste, with a tad of bitterness. The average stuff is also quite good, sometimes claiming to have been made with yak milk, but most of the time it is made with cow´s milk mixed with some yak milk.

Talking yogurt: Where there are lots of stores there also is, generally speaking, an agglomeration of food offerings. At the entrance to what they call a "delicious food court" there usually are two or three vendors selling homemade yogurt in ceramic bowls that you buy for the equivalent of 15 cents, eat, and then return the container. I did try it and it is "delicious". More about these later!!!

Back to my morning life: my husband is picked up to go to work at 8:00 a.m. Shortly after, I either leave to go to my Mandarin lesson, or wait for a student to come to my room. The Mandarin lessons are one and a half hour long and I am finally able to express myself at least at a minimal level. This lady is an excellent teacher. She has progressively been including more and more Mandarin in the conversations.

I started having problems with my back again so I tried the massage in the hotel. That is the one where they walk on your back with their knees. That did not help much so I started asking around for a good massage place. Someone gave me directions to one, but it was a bit too far to go to and I would have required a taxi to get there. Then I asked my teacher, who told me about one in the complex where she lives. Desperation will lead places, correct? This place came with high recommendation, so after my lesson, I went there, asked if this was the massage place, and was told yes it was.

With a sigh I went in because one never knows what will come next. The owner gave my back a go first and boy, was he rough! Either that or my back was totally out of line. I was told that I would have to come for seven days straight, take two days off, and come back for another seven days. What could I say? I agreed.

The next day, someone else started massaging my back, and he did it for the next six days. I took the two days off and then went back. This time, the four masseurs discussed my back and what is wrong with it, and someone else started working on it. The first one was rough, the second one was good at relaxing the muscles, but this third one is really good. He seems to have a knack for finding where all the sore spots are and my spine has started to straighten somewhat. I am on a day off at the moment. What this one is doing that no one else has done before is trying to relax the muscles causing my back to go out of line. It seems to help a lot.

The massage done, I have time to wander around. Lunch is looming - where to go? This city has a lot of Muslim restaurants and they make great food, especially the roasted potatoes, spiced up and warm. They also cook mutton on an open fire, the meat laced on sticks. Really yummy.

There are also lots of noodle places where one can dine for a mere 6 RMB, which is less than a Canadian dollar. If you want tea with this it will double the price. Tea is excellent in China but very expensive. In a noodle place, as the name says, you get noodles in a broth. There is usually a choice of beef or mutton broth, sometimes chicken. Then lots of noodles and spices are added, all in one bowl, to be savoured either by slurping off the side of the bowl and also using the chopsticks to gather the noodles. or use a spoon. The choice of combinations is endless.

One day, I walked upstairs to a hot-pot restaurant. Even though I ordered for only one person, there was enough that two other people could have had lunch with me. Too bad I had to leave so much of it behind.

An advantage of this city is that the University is quite easy to register at to learn Chinese, and they also recruit foreign teachers for their foreign language department. As a result, demand and offer, there are a few western inspired coffee houses. They offer coffee - good coffee - and western food, sometimes with a Chinese twist, and are clean, kitchen included. Let us not forget the sit-down toilets instead of the squatty ones!

There is one such coffee house across the road from the hotel, ideally located in case of rain. This menu is an adventure in itself. Can you tell me what a French disabilities sandwich is I have not found out yet. I assumed from the picture in the menu that "chicken Gordon Blew" is chicken cordon bleu, and it was. Again from the picture, I assumed that "Pork Grond Belew" was pork cordon bleu. I tried the Indonesian rice dish with an egg on top of it and shrimp chips, and that was very good, almost as good as the one my mother-in- law used to make in the Dutch fashion. The servers looked at me with a puzzled look when I asked for a fork and a knife to eat it instead of just the big soup spoon they gave me, and throughout the lunch they kept looking to see how I was going to eat this dish with a fork and knife. Chopsticks would be better but this restaurant does not have chopsticks for the patrons.

Back to the daily routine: One day I decided to go back to the hotel by a different route. The result: I discovered a new-to-me world. Wandering along, I saw what looked like a large, very disparate collection of small fruit and vegetable vendors, and having a hunger for a peach, I went to look. People bring their offerings in the back of small trucks or on the back of motorcycles equipped with large square tubs. One offers Chinese cabbage (would you believe that it sounds like "bokchai" when said in Mandarin?), another one offers corn, celery, you name it and it is there. It is almost like a sea of vegetable carriers. Each one offers only one kind of fruit or vegetable. I did not see any in this area that offered two or more different vegetables or fruits.

Then there are stores of all sorts. Need a large stock pot? Is this one large enough, or would you like a larger one? Ah! A smaller one: here it is! Dishes in all sizes and shapes, literally thousands of cooking and eating utensils. Then there is the section where you can find shoes, any size, as long as it is smaller than size 40 for ladies and 43 for men (European sizes), any colour, any style. Not happy with that? How about skeins of wool or other knitting yarn? Look some more over there and there are t-shirts galore, followed by jackets, ladies´ underwear, men´s underwear, and I could not believe it - stalls with fabric and an on-site tailor! The mix of colours, people, smells, sounds made for quite an enjoyable experience. Did I get my peach? Eventually, about an hour later, once I got close to the other street, I bought two peaches and three bananas and did some bargaining for those, of course!

Then I came back to my hotel room to dutifully do some studying. Next time I will try some other location.

To be continued.

Pat Moore visits schools during her stay in

CHINA

A few national holidays were approaching so I decided to request, in advance, to visit some schools.

The interpreter was pleased to let me know that after several phone calls he was able to get permission to visit a couple of different schools - "whenever". Thank goodness I was able to take hundreds of Canadian pins and stick-on Alberta roses, as these were a bit hit with the children - and the teachers. The Canadian and Alberta art prints that I took made very suitable gifts to present to the principals of the schools during the welcoming tea ceremony - always a requirement.

The Chinese do not spend much on making their schools pretty - usually they are not painted and often are quite chilly, but that is not necessary as all the children (at least until age 10 or so) are dressed in very warm and bright clothes. After about age 10 or 12, they seem to prefer rather dull grey clothing until they start working or have a job, and possibly get to choose their own clothes.

The Chinese would rather spend monies on the staff. I was amazed that almost every class I visited for the first grades, or up to the age of 10, had five adults: a teacher; an assistant in charge of music (nothing electric but usually a pump piano or organ); an assistant in charge of crafts, paintings, etc.; a health person in charge of checking eyesight, hearing, and meals; and best of all, a senior who was there to help out in any way, or just to sit in a rocking chair and be there for any child who needed help or comforting!

Early in my teaching career I taught children with disabilities, but I never saw any children in China with disabilities - which was disturbing. However, whenever I asked the interpreter he always avoided my questions and I could see he did not want to discuss the matter at all.Rather than put him in an impossible situation, I felt it better to find out some other way but, although I tried, it was a subject that nobody wanted to discuss. Even when visiting many factories, I never did see a person with physical disabilities. Since the new policy of only one child per family, it is quite noticeable that the majority of the children are males. Obviously this is going to have serious consequences for the future.

Since the children are there usually from early morning until evening - depending on their parents´ work schedule - meals are provided. Usually the children participate in the preparation of the food, serving, and cleaning up. There is no sex discrimination as boys and girls are both expected to do dishes, cleaning up, sweeping, etc.

Depending on the grade or age of the children, there is often a short nap or rest time as well. It was wonderful to see the respect the children gave to all the teachers and helpers, and also the enthusiasm and eagerness they showed for learning.

In most schools they also had a library, and it was amazing to see every chair outside the library filled with students waiting for the next empty chair in the library.

The most interesting schools I visited were the "schools for gifted" children. These were usually open only on Saturdays when the children with certain skills went to separate schools where experts/masters in the subject would teach. This could be music, electronics, language, computers, etc., and the competition to get into these classes was immense.

The teachers for the extra Saturday schools would not be paid extra, but were rewarded with extra benefits - perhaps a larger apartment, recognition, promotions, etc. Since all schools operated six days a week, the "special skills" children concentrated on their special skill with a master teacher all day at the Saturday school.

Carol Hansen sends this oldie but goodie:

JOE, THE LAWYER

Joe grew up in Yorkton, Saskatchewan, then moved away to study law at university. He decided to come back to Yorkton because he felt he could be a big shot at home. He really wanted to impress everyone, so he returned and opened his new law office.

The first day, he saw a man coming up the sidewalk. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived. As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking on the phone.

"No. Absolutely not. You tell those clowns in Toronto that we won´t settle this case for less than one million. Yes, the Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I´ll be handling the primary arguments and the other members of my team will provide support. Okay, tell the Crown Attorney that I´ll meet with him next week to discuss the details." The "conversation" went on for almost five minutes.

All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled instructions. Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man. "I´m sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I´m very busy. What can I do for you?"

The man replied, "I´m from SaskTel and I came to hook up your phone."

Bruce Galway sends about 30 of these observations; here are 20 of them:

RANDOM THOUGHTS

1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story, all I can think about is that I can´t wait for him to finish so that I can tell my own story that´s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you´re wrong.

4. I don´t understand the purpose of the line, "I don´t need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they´ve invented the lighter?

5. I totally take back all those times I didn´t want to nap when I was younger.

6. There is a great need for sarcasm font.

7. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

8. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take two trips to bring my groceries in.

9. I think part of a best friend´s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

10. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I´m trying to finish a text.

11. Was learning cursive really necessary?

12. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

13. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

14. Whenever someone says, "I´m not book smart, but I´m street smart," all I hear is "I´m not real smart, but I´m imaginary smart."

15. How many times is it appropriate to say, "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn´t hear what was said?

16. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using "as in" examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss´s last name to an attorney and said, "Yes that´s G as in ... (10 second lapse) ... ummm ... Goonies."

17. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

18. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it. Thanks, Mario Kart.

19. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

20. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the people died.

More to come.

Zvonko Springer forwards the story of

THE TALKING DOG

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken-down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the back yard.

The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep, the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what´s your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn´t getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals....

"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I´m just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he´s a liar. He never did any of that stuff."

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Barbara Wear sends the URL for a video of a young Philippino singer:

http://arunaurl.com/35jl

Marilyn Magid, who has had both hips replaced this year, writes: "No wonder I still feel sore and can´t sleep on my left side for very long. I´m glad I didn´t look at these before I had the two surgeries." For those about to have a hip or knee replacement, here is an interesting animation that goes through the process:

http://www.edheads.org/activities/hip/

Pat Moore sends this: Did you know that it takes 90 years to grow a box of Kleenex? That´s right, every time you use a Kleenex tissue, you are blowing away ancient forests. And every time you use Scott or Cottonelle toilet paper, you´re flushing old-growth trees down the toilet. That´s because Kimberly Clark, maker of these products, all but refuses to use recycled paper in its products.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWtzZzqylhI

For videos of the device that enabled Hope, a two-legged Maltese puppy, to get around, see

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1j9g82-5Qis

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John McDermott sings My Old Man: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNL_wGZgV5Q