---

IN THIS ISSUE

• Pat Moore enthuses about a visit to Guilin in China
• Mike DiCola writes about a site in last week´s issue
• Bill McNair reminds us of things we don´t hear these days
• Rafiki sends a song in tribute to an unappreciated surgeon
• There are many reasons to consider becoming a vegetarian
• Dick Monaghan forwards new words to an old refrain
• Bruce Galway, Carol Hansen, and Catherine Green suggest sites

Pat Moore continues her series of stories from

CHINA

NOTE: Sorry that some of these images are so small, it was the best we could do. However, if you click on either of the two larger images you will open a much larger, clearer image.

Guilin is possibly the most beautiful area in China, so we decided to take some time to see the Li River and the famous limestone hills.

These karst mountains are what remain of an ancient seabed that was lifted, possibly by an earthquake many years ago, and subsequently eroded away by wind and weather. The formations line much of the Li River and have inspired Chinese poets and artists for centuries. They´re also a source of national pride, earning an appearance on the back of China´s 20-yuan note.

The Li River is truly like no other place on earth and feels very mystical. Guilin city is huge and probably like any other big city and that was not what we wanted to see, so we decided to hire a river boat for a few days and take advantage of the fact that we were really there in this unique part of the world.

Thank goodness we did as traveling down the Li River is like being transported back in time. Because we had seen so many photographs of the places we visited, such as the Great Wall and the Terracotta Army of Xian, we had some idea of what to expect, but travelling down the Li River, we felt as if we were in a completely different part of the world.

The Li River is very quiet and tranquil and we found that this had an effect on the people living on the river: they were very relaxed, easy going, friendly, and always smiling.

The small river boat was equipped with sparse but comfortable sleeping slabs and the river boat man knew where to stop for fresh food from the markets along the way. This gave us the opportunity to try many strange but delicious products. We had the chance to try some meat, but since we did not recognize the animal it was from when they tried to explain by gesturing and acting like the animal - amid great laughter and shouts - we decided not to take any chances and just stuck to the great variety of vegetables. This gave us a chance to stretch our legs and to visit with some of the locals - especially the children and all the pets, who were always happy and carefree.

The river boat man recommended that we take the time to visit the Reed Caves, and also the zoo, where many famous pandas are on display. He also advised us to visit the city as the shopkeepers were very friendly and many spoke English. After four days enjoying one of the most relaxing and unusual holidays we experienced in China, we headed back to the city of Guilin.

The trip to the Reed Caves was interesting and a treat for the eyes. They had been illuminated so every way we turned during the four-hour walk there was a different formation to see - in glorious colors.

The zoo was also worthwhile, but we had seen quite a few pandas so that was nothing new, but the pandas at the Guilin Zoo seemed to be very happy and lazy and apparently very old, so mostly they just sat around eating.

However, what we did find to be very interesting was the atmosphere in the shops, particularly in the area near the river as it had the feeling of a resort area. We had planned just to stroll around, enjoying the sights, the warm weather and the day, but we soon found that many of the clerks indeed spoke fairly good English. That made shopping really a pleasure as we could carry on conversations with the staff and make inquiries about items that we found that were of interest, and they seemed anxious to give us all the details.

We all had different items to look for and I started off in another direction after we agreed to meet in three hours and have dinner. In talking with several of the clerks in one very friendly shop, I found the reason for the proficiency in English. Guilin is a tourist destination, and if any of the clerks wanted promotions to a better store in Guilin, or possibly to be recommended for a better job in a larger city, they would wake at 6 a.m., quickly get ready for work, and then listen to the BBC on the radio for an hour to learn English words and pronunciation. They said they would prefer to listen to the USA stations for the up-to-date news but that the Americans always spoke too fast and did not pronounce words clearly, so for their jobs it was best to listen to and learn from the BBC. They would then go to work, which usually was from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m., and practice new words or exchange new words and phrases with other staff at the store during the day, whenever they were not too busy. They also loved chatting with us and asked us many times the meaning of some of the phrases that were confusing them. One phrase in particular I found very funny - one clerk asked what it meant when a tourist wanted a special item and offered "to pay under the table." She had all sorts of visions about what this meant when a customer wanted to buy an expensive gift.

Many of the female clerks seemed anxious to work in the shops rather than in the numerous rice paddies that surrounded Guilin as their families had done for generations; they wanted a better and easier life living in a big city - or so they thought and dreamed about.

I will always remember the wonderful people of Guilin, the boat ride up the Li River, the fantastic scenery and the interesting sites.

To be continued.

________________________________________

CORRESPONDENCE

Mike DiCola from Ottawa writes:

That Toronto CN Tower time-lapse shot was interesting, but your readers might like to know that if you simply roll your cursor across the image from left to right, you can control the speed with which the image passes from day to night.

I was also fascinated to observe how, despite what must have been several hours of time passing, there is one bus in the lower right corner beside a billboard that never moves for the whole period. It made me think for a moment that an OC Transpo (Ottawa) vehicle and driver must have somehow strayed into the shot.

ED. NOTE: That site again: http://wvs.topleftpixel.com/flash/cntower_timelapse.swf

Bill McNair, who forwards this post, writes: I remember every one of them, preached to me almost daily.

THINGS YOU DON´T HEAR ANYMORE...

Be sure to refill the ice trays, we´re going to have company.

Watch for the afternoon postman. I want to get this letter to Willie in the mail today.

Quit slamming the screen door when you go out!

Be sure and pull the windows down when you leave; it looks like a shower is coming up.

Don´t forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.

Wash your feet before you go to bed. You´ve been playing outside all day barefooted.

Why can´t you remember to roll up the legs of your britches? Getting them caught in the bicycle chain so many times is tearing them up.

You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on.

Don´t you go outside with your school clothes on!

Go comb your hair; it looks like the rats have nested in it all night.

Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new bottle.

Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won´t have to pay a deposit on another one.

Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won´t get on it.

Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to make it fall if you don´t quit!

Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by; I need to get a few things from him.

You boys stay close by; the car may not start and I will need you to help push it off.

There´s a dollar in my purse; get five gallons of gas when you go to town.

Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here; it is getting hot.

You can walk to the store; it won´t hurt you to get some exercise.

Don´t sit too close to the TV. It´s hard on your eyes.

Be sure and fill the lamps this morning so we don´t have to do that tonight in the dark.

Here, take this old magazine to the toilet with you when you go; we´re almost out of paper out there.

No! I don´t have 10 cents for you to go to the show. Do you think money grows on trees?

Eat those turnips; they´ll make you big and strong like your daddy.

Sit still! I´m trying to get your hair cut straight and you keep moving and it´s all messed up.

It is time for your system to be cleaned out. I am going to give you a dose of castor oil tonight.

If you get a spanking in school and I find out about it, you´ll get another one when you get home.

Quit crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!

Rafiki forwards this salute to

THE COLORECTAL SURGEON

We praise the colorectal surgeon,
Misunderstood and much maligned,
Slaving away in the heart of darkness,
Working where the sun don´t shine.

Respect the colorectal surgeon -
It´s a calling few would crave.
Lift up your hands and join us -
Let´s all do the finger wave.

When it comes to spreading joy
There are many techniques;
Some spread joy to the world,
And others just spread cheeks.

Some may think the cardiologist
Is their best friend,
But the colorectal surgeon knows ...
He´ll get you in the end!

Why the colorectal surgeon?
It´s one of those mysterious things.
Is it because in that profession
There are always openings?

When I first met a colorectal surgeon
He did not quite understand;
I said, "Hey, nice to meet you,
But do you mind? We don´t shake hands."

He sailed right through medical school
Because he was a whiz;
Oh, but he never thought of psychology,
Though he read a few passages.

A doctor he wanted to be
For golf he loved to play,
But this is not quite what he meant
By eighteen holes a day!

Praise the colorectal surgeon,
Misunderstood and much maligned,
Slaving away in the heart of darkness,
Working where the sun don´t shine!

To hear this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N0w2rORwSc

VEGETARIANISM

A recent United Nations report, Livestock´s Long Shadow, said that raising chickens, turkeys, pigs, and other animals for food causes more greenhouse gas emissions than all the cars, trucks and other forms of transportation combined. Researchers from the University of Chicago similarly concluded that a vegetarian diet is the most energy efficient, and the average American does more to reduce global warming emissions by not eating animal products than by switching to a hybrid car.

A 2007 journal published by the American Dietetic Association found "meat protein production required 26 times more water than vegetable protein on rain-fed lands." The journal further states that dieticians "can encourage eating that is both healthful and conserving of soil, water, and energy by emphasizing plant sources of protein and foods that have been produced with fewer agricultural inputs."

"Livestock are one of the most significant contributors to today´s most serious environmental problems. Urgent action is required to remedy the situation." - Union Nations´ Food and Agriculture Association

A single dairy cow produces approximately 120 pounds of wet manure per day, which is equivalent to that of 20 to 40 humans.

70% of the grain grown and 50% of the water consumed in the U.S. are used by the meat industry. (Audubon Society)

On average 990 liters of water are required to produce one liter of milk. (United Nations)

Over 260 million acres of U.S. forest have been cleared to grow grain for livestock. (Greenpeace)

It takes nearly one gallon of fossil fuel and 5,200 gallons of water to produce just one pound of conventionally fed beef. (Mother Jones)

Farmed animals produce an estimated 1.4 billion tons of fecal waste each year in the U.S. Much of this untreated waste pollutes the land and water.

The number of animals killed for food in the United States is 70 times larger than the number of animals killed in laboratories, 30 times larger than the number killed by hunters and trappers, and 500 times larger than the number of animals killed in animal pounds.

"If anyone wants to save the planet," says Paul McCartney in a PETA interview, "all they have to do is stop eating meat. That´s the single most important thing you could do. It´s staggering when you think about it. Vegetarianism takes care of so many things in one shot: ecology, famine, cruelty. Going veggie is the single best idea for the new century."

Dick Monaghan sends this updated version of an old song:

THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up: what with walking 25 miles to school every morning ... uphill ... barefoot ... BOTH ways.

Yadda, yadda, yadda.

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they´ve got it!

But now that I´m over the ripe old age of 30, I can´t help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You´ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don´t know how good you´ve got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn´t have the internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!

There was no e-mail We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen!

Then we had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

Child Protective Services didn´t care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

There were no MP3 s or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We´d play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and the tape would come undone. ´Cause - that´s how we rolled, dig?

We didn´t have fancy crap like call waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that´s it!

And we didn´t have fancy caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent. You just didn´t know! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn´t have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high- resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like ´Space Invaders´ and ´Asteroids´. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen ... forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel! NO REMOTES!

There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I´m saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

And we didn´t have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

That´s exactly what I´m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You´re spoiled. You guys wouldn´t have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or before!

Regards,

The Over 30 Crowd

SUGGESTED SITES

Bruce Galway writes: How long can that bottle of ketchup stay in your fridge before it goes bad? I´m thinking five or 10 years, but if you want an expert opinion, go to the website below. This site lists all kind of foods and how to keep them fresh as well as when to get rid of them. If you have a question, click on the particular picture, and a whole list of stuff appears:

Carol Hansen writes: This is about the most amazing thing you will have seen this year. Yes, it is about a golfer, but it is so much more than that. It is worth watching all the way through:

We´ve seen sand art before, but this one forwarded by Catherine Green is exceptional:

And just for fun and information, here again is The Ride We Are On: