Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2011-06

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Lyle Meeres comes to the end of his account of their New Zealand visit
• Pat Moore remembers long-ago summers at the cottage
• Shirley Conlon forwards some observations on aging
• Dick Chenot´s story is about a simple exchange
• Catherine Nesbitt sends a story about avid golfers
• Barbara Wear forwards an example of the importance of being specific
• Good news: googling is good for your brain!
• Sites are suggested by Bruce Galway, Carol Hansen, Catherine Nesbitt, Jay, Stephanie McNeil, and Tom Williamson

Lle Meeres concludes his story of a trip

AROUND THE ISLANDS IN 21 DAYS

The next morning we were on our way to Queenstown, one of our shorter drives. We enjoyed good mountain views and Lake Wakatipu. Our first impression of Queenstown was that it was like Banff, with lots of cars and little parking. Like Banff, it is certainly worth the visit, and there are many things to do in the area, especially wild rides for young tourists. From our accommodation we could watch paragliders, but we took the gondola up and watched them from the top as well. An expert goes with a tourist on each paragliding trip and each trip ends with a pinpoint landing on a playing field. We also watched people whip down concrete curves on the luge ride. New Zealanders seem to love extreme rides.

The next day we took our own dramatic ride, a four-wheel drive into Skippers Canyon. Rental insurance is invalid on this road for good reasons. The twisty road makes passengers feel very close to the 394- foot drops to the river and I couldn´t help but imagine what the trip would be like if the road got a soaking rain. We couldn´t imagine vehicles being allowed to take tourists along such a road at home, but the views as well as the drop took our breath away.

We watched bungy jumpers leap from the Pipeline Walkway over the Shotover River, a 340-foot drop. We had seen signs of goldmining days, and we toured a little museum and tried our hands at goldpanning. Only Pat got a flake. Then we rode a jetboat up the Shotover River, doing a number of 360-degree spins so we caught lots of spray. This ride was at our level of excitement; the bungy jump would have been heart-attack territory. Tourists who wanted something quieter could cruise Lake Wakatipu on the TSS Earnslaw, an old steamship.

On day fifteen we drove to Fox Glacier, taking pictures along the way of Lake Hawea, small but pretty Fantail Falls, Thunder Creek Falls, and Lake Paringa. We enjoyed the views from Knights Point Lookout. Fox Glacier reminded us of the Columbia Icefields. We had been told that if you saw one glacier, the next was similar, so we skipped the stop at Franz Josef Glacier.

The next day we drove to the Westport area, staying at River View Lodge B&B on the Bullet River. Along the way we stopped to take pictures at Punakaiki, which features the Pancake Rocks, layered limestone formed on the ocean bed, lifted, and then eroded. Since the weaker bands erode more quickly, the resulting formation takes on the appearance of a stack of pancakes.

In the Westport area, we walked on the Cape Foulwinds Walkway and watched seals. At the B&B, our hostess explained the deer behind high fences: she raises deer until they are 18 months old, ships them out live for processing, and then they are sent to Germany. The B&B flower garden was beautiful and full of fantails, little birds that fan out a distinctive tail that seems unreasonably large. Bless them: they eat insects.

Our next stop was Blenheim (natives say "Blennum") in the heart of the Marlborough wine area, so of course we hit the wine trail. Sampling wines is good fun and in this area wineries are so close to each other one needn´t drive big distances, which is probably a good thing if tasters swallow many samples. Of the white wines, the sauvignon blanc has a good reputation and many of the chardonnays deserve respect. A number of full-bodied, deep-coloured red wines are making an appearance. For food, try the fish of the day such as hoki or hapuka, green-lipped mussels, oysters, crayfish, seafood chowder, or calamari. Enjoy lamb as a roast, a rack, or shanks. "Kumara" is a kind of sweet potato; what is called pumpkin is served like squash and it is excellent. "Capsicum" are bell peppers. All of us agreed that Vegemite as a breakfast spread is inedible, though our English friends survive it. We also tried the dark beer, and we found one place where you could bring your own wine.

From Blenheim, we went to Picton for our return ferry crossing, and we were fortunate that the ferries were running again. They had shut down for two days due to high seas. And so we left the South Island with its many one-way bridges and even a couple of bridges that cars share with trains, and returned to North Island with its numerous Maori place names. After crossing desert that has volcanic cones jutting up into the sky, we spent the next night at Turangi, just south of Lake Taupo.

Russell, in the Bay of Islands (click for larger image)

On day nineteen, we drove to Russell in the Bay of Islands area. This is an area favoured by many Auckland dwellers for holidaying, so there are many busy resort towns. We chose it for a three-night stay because it looked interesting, it was close to Auckland for our departure, and because we needed a restful stop.

On the way to Russell, we ate lunch at a town named Warkworth and discovered that its shops had interesting art, beyond the imagination of typical tourist shops. Our unit in Russell had a view resembling pictures in books: an attractive harbour, a variety of boats, and pleasant beaches. We read and walked and snapped pictures. We did drive to a few beaches, including one large one where I took a close- up of the green-lipped mussels clinging to the rocks. We also took the ferry across the bay to Pahia, where one could buy anything from the usual tourist items to the exotic and expensive.

We had travelled nearly 5000 kilometers. All too soon it was time to fly home. It always feels good to see the doors of home, but this was an excellent holiday. I did break three blisters, but two of them were hiking along airport concrete. The people deserve their reputation for friendliness. We loved Christchurch, Milford Sound, and the hike in the Waimangu volcanic area. Our "next time" agenda includes the Waitomo caves, Doubtful Sound, Nelson and Nelson Lakes, Mount Cook National Park, the Coromandel Peninsula, a trip to some islands, and going north of Auckland to Ninety-Mile Beach and Cape Reinga. There´s lots to do in New Zealand. We met a man in Napier who came to New Zealand from England 24 years earlier and never returned. He and his wife holiday each year in New Zealand because there is so much to see.

At a time when much of the northern hemisphere is enduring severe winter storms, Pat Moore´s memories of warmer times of long ago may grant a respite:

COTTAGE STORIES

When my mother and I first returned to Canada from England, I was six. It was spring and we immediately went down to our summer home on Lake Winnipeg in Manitoba. Our place was on a peninsula and only retired people stayed all winter, so it was very quiet until school was out.

My father put up a swing on a tree and I loved to sit there with peanuts and bread to throw to the birds and the animals. Gradually, a chipmunk and I became friends, and he would even eat off my hand and off my shoulder. We remained friends for three years. The fourth year he did not appear when we arrived in the spring and I was heartbroken. Finally, the chipmunk showed up, and after a bit of coaxing, came for the peanuts. All of a sudden he left and much to my surprise, reappeared in the grass with little chipmunks! He was a she!

It was a great summer and I loved every minute with the little family, but they did not appear the next spring. I have always wondered what happened.

Another cottage story: every year when we went down in the spring, the grass was knee-high and my dad always hired some men to use a scythe so that the grass could be cut with a lawnmower. To my delight I discovered that mice had found cozy homes in the safety of the tall grass, and if I walked behind the man with the scythe, I could rescue the little babies - which were adorable little grey soft balls - and take them over to the edge of the lawn for their mothers to find - and I found dozens. I felt like a rescue person! My daughter in Australia belongs to a Rescue the Dolphins organization and goes up the coast to help whenever a dolphin is found beached, so I guess that rescue gene was passed along. My daughter in Ottawa rescues kittens.

Another cottage story: there were ditches around the area to let the spring rains of Manitoba run off and in the spring this was a great place for the frogs to live and multiply. Fortunately, my mother had lots of old pots and pans - and lids - in the garage and allowed me to use them to catch the frogs. I would run all day long and catch dozens and put them in the screened-in gazebo - but I always let them go at lunch or dinnertime. Occasionally, I would keep the really huge frogs and dress them in some doll clothes and push them around in a doll carriage, What a sight!

Another memory of spring at the cottage: before breakfast going out to collect the first of the wild strawberries and running home with them for breakfast - what flavour, and what a treat!

About 1/2 mile away and back from the lake, a farmer had a field of potatoes, and when I got older, a few of us would walk down there after a swim and - I hate to say it - steal a few potatoes by digging them up. We took them back to the beach, where we had collected some dry old driftwood, and cooked them in a fire. It is hard to forget how delicious those blackened baked potatoes tasted.

Shirley Conlon is one of several who have forwarded these

OBSERVATIONS ON GROWING OLDER

It´s harder to tell navy from black.

Yellow becomes the big color - walls, hair, teeth.

Going out is good; coming home is better!

When you needed the discount you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything - movies, hotels, flights.

You forget names, but it´s OK because other people forgot they even knew you.

The last two outfits you wore had spots on them.

You ask your husband or friend how your outfit looks, and he tells you the truth.

The five pounds you wanted to lose are now 15, and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

You realize you´re never going to be really good at anything - especially golf.

Your husband is counting on you to remember things you don´t remember.

The things you cared to do, you don´t care to do, but you care that you don´t care to do them anymore.

Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring then he does in bed.

Remember when your mother said, "Wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you have an accident.

Who wants to wear 3" heels anyway?

You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch; GOOGLE, ipod, e-mail, modem were unheard of and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.

You use more four-letter words - "What?"..."When?"

Now that you can afford expensive jewellery, it´s not safe to wear it anywhere. (Also now you have wrinkles on your hands and neck and age spots and probably shouldn´t call attention to them with nice jewelry anyway.)

You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you´ve read it.

Many of the people in People Magazine you´ve never heard of.

Your concealer doesn´t conceal. Your lipstick bleeds.

What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

Everybody whispers.

You have three sizes of clothes in your closet, two of which you will never wear again.

But old is good in some things - old songs, old movies, and best of all - old friends!

Dick Chenot forwards this naughty joke:

ROOSTERS

A chicken farmer walked into a bar and sat down next to a woman who was drinking champagne, and he ordered the same. He turned to her and said, "I´m drinking the good stuff because I´m celebrating."

The woman said, "Me too."

As they clinked glasses the man asked. "What are you celebrating?"

She said, "For years my husband and I have been trying to have a baby. Today I found out I´m pregnant."

"What a coincidence," the man said. "I´m a farmer. For years all my chickens were infertile but today they´re pregnant."

"That´s great," the woman said. "How did they become fertile?"

"I switched roosters," he replied.

"What a coincidence," the woman said. "So did I."

Catherine Nesbitt shares this story about

GOLFERS

Four old-timers are playing their weekly game of golf in Florida, and one remarks how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed, and without an argument, go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round. His buddies all chime in and say, "Let´s do it! We´ll make it a priority, and figure out a way and meet here early Christmas morning."

A few weeks later, that special morning arrives and there they are on the golf course.

The first guy says, "Boy, this game cost me a fortune! I bought my wife such a diamond ring that she can´t take her eyes off it."

Number two guy says, "I spent a ton, too. My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures."

Number three guy says, "Well, my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual."

They all turn to the last guy in the group, who is staring at them as if they have lost their minds.

"I can´t believe you all went to such expense for this golf game. I slapped my wife on the butt and said, ´Well babe, merry Christmas! It´s a great morning for either sex or golf," and she said...

"´Take a sweater!´"

Barbara Wear thinks we will enjoy this one:

LAST WISHES

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter said, "I´d like to get you guys in now, but our computer´s down. You will have to go back to earth for about a week, but you can´t go back as priests. What´ll it be?"

The first priest says, "I´ve always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains...."

"So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.

The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week ´count´, St. Peter?"

"No. I told you the computer´s down. There´s no way we can keep track of what you are doing."

"In that case" says the second priest, "I´ve always wanted to be a stud."

"So be it," says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.

A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" he asks.

"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He´s somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult."

"Why?" asks the Lord.

"He´s on a snow tire somewhere in Saskatchewan."

FROM THE EDITOR´S DESKTOP

There´s good news for surfing seniors - googling is good for the brain!

According to the Charlottetown Guardian, researchers at UCLA analyzed the brain activity of middle-aged to older adults during internet browsing. The research indicates that browsing engages more of the brain than reading does, and the areas affected are those involved in complex reasoning and decision-making. People who continue to participate in mind-stimulating activities such as browsing or crossword puzzles show better ability to maintain brain health.

Web surfing delays the slowing down of brain activity associated with advancing age. Also, seniors who become proficient at and use a computer appear to have fewer depressive symptoms than those who aren´t as technologically advanced.

So I can stop worrying that I am spending too much time on my computer - it may not be exercising anything but my fingers, but it is keeping my brain active. Now that my walking is compromised by arthritis, I´m letting my fingers do the walking, as the old yellow pages ads used to advise.

All the years I spent in my printing apprenticeship depended on my hands: for the keyboard on the linotype, for assembling ads and headlines from loose type, for putting the lead slugs into frames to make newspaper pages or advertising brochures, and then for feeding the sheets one by one into the maw of the old press in the basement. Eventually, as a journeyman, I worked in the trade for about 30 years. After leaving The Salmon Arm Observer, I became almost exclusively a keyboard operator - first the linotypes, then teletypes, and finally, computers. My fingers were my fortune, such as it was.

Once again, my fingers are proving invaluable. For the past 18 years or so they have struggled with the idiosyncrasies of computer technology, through the old Commodore 64, the 64-128, the Amiga, and finally, the Mac. I make no claim to proficiency, but something must have been gained in all those years, even if only some enhanced brain activity. As my physical space has dwindled, my mental space has expanded to encompass the world, and perhaps it is helping to maintain my brain´s health. I sincerely hope so!

SUGGESTED SITES

Bruce Galway and Catherine Nesbitt both forward the URL for a video of hand dancing, something new and entertaining:

Carol Hansen suggests this site for five tips for using aluminum foil:

Catherine Nesbitt sends this link to a compilation of dances from movies:

Stephanie McNeil forwards this link to a national "do not call" list. It is simple to use and will cut out some of the unwanted phone calls we get at dinner time:

Tom Williamson sends this link to a video which explains Canada to Americans:

A solar oven is a simple way to cook food without using electricity, gas, charcoal, or wood. In developing countries, it is literally life saving, providing a low-tech high-impact solution to serious and chronic problems. Solar ovens can be used as a sustainable way to boil and purify water, to stop death and disease resulting from water born illnesses. See in this video how they developed a simple method, without a thermometer to confirm the correct temperature:

Speaking at a TED Salon in London, economist Martin Jacques asks: How do we in the West make sense of China and its phenomenal rise? The author of "When China Rules the World," he examines why the West often puzzles over the growing power of the Chinese economy, and offers three building blocks for understanding what China is and will become:

At Jay´s suggestion, we are adding a feature to The Tale Spinner which you should find interesting and perhaps challenging. It is a "freedictionary" which contains a word of the day, an article of the day, this day in history, today´s birthday, a news item, a quote of the day, a spelling bee, and a match-up of words with definitions. The link will appear every week and of course the page will be updated: