Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2011-10

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Terry Remin spends New Year´s eve in Australia
• Judy Marriot recalls happy times from her childhood
• Catherine Nesbitt forwards a story of a misunderstanding
• Bruce Galway reminds us of these definitions of tools
• Jean Sterling sends a birthday story
• Sites are suggested by Carol Hansen, Catherine Nesbitt, Pat Moore, and Tom Williamson

Terry Remin arrives in Australia on her journey to her

NEW LIFE

On the Hawaii-Sydney leg of my journey, I was fortunate to not have a seat mate on the plane so I was able to spread out and relax for the 11-hour flight. About an hour into the trip, the pilot came on and told us that the toilets were all blocked up except two for 250 passengers. They would make every effort to unblock them but if they couldn´t, we might have to land to have them repaired. He asked that we not use them any more than necessary. They did eventually unblock them and the remainder of the trip was uneventful. I watched movies and read my book and attempted to write some.

When we were landing in Sydney at around 6 p.m., I got very emotional. The fellow from my online reserved room had arranged to pick me up at the train station at Artimond, and I recognized him from the online photo. His Korean girlfriend was with him as well. We got to the house and he showed me around. He had a beautiful garden and the house was quite interesting. He was a painter and decorator and he had showcased some of his talents in his home. He also liked to collect old things and had a lot of antique furniture and pieces.

The bathroom was magical. It had a modern hip-style bathtub with a step-on style plug in the middle. The lights were electronic that you could set the color and intensity individually by remote control. The door opened by pushing a button and it automatically closed behind you. The windows and door were all frosted glass with a beautiful design on them. He also had a flat screen TV for viewing in the tub. I decided to have a bath and it was great, but the bath was a bit long and I kept floating in it, which made it hard to read. When I got out of the tub we had tea and a chat on his lovely deck before retiring for the night.

The next morning he said he was going to town and I could get a ride and walk back so that I could orient myself. I needed to get groceries. Despite his best efforts and instructions, I found myself a little bit lost, but I flagged down a UPS driver and he gave me a quick lift to the right corner as he could see that I was overheating a bit. When I got back from shopping, I could not find the phone. I finally noticed a fax machine on top of the fridge, so I called some friends and they asked me to come over as it was New Year´s Eve and they were having a few people in and said I could just sleep on the couch for the night.

I showered and changed and set off to find my way by bus. It was over an hour bus ride but I made it without mishap, and luckily there was a pay phone right where I got off. I called to say I had arrived and they came and picked me up. New Year´s was being celebrated with an Aussie pie cook off. Everyone had made a pie of some sort, some savoury and some sweet. We started eating about 5 p.m. and didn´t stop till well after 9:00, when we were all so stuffed we could not take in any more! There was voting for the best pie in different categories and the winner was a friend from America. There were so many I can hardly remember what they are were, but I liked the Chilli pie, with the butter-chicken pie a close second.

When the final hour of 2010 neared, we moved to the lounge room to watch the fireworks in Sydney harbour on the TV. It was a massive 10- minute display that stretched across the whole harbour. It must have been incredible to be down there in the thick of things. We all retired right after midnight with very full stomachs to start 2011.

The next day after a bit of a visit, I headed back to the place I was staying. I cooked myself some lovely lamb chops. I love Australian lamb! I had a great visit with the couple I was staying with. The next day the fellow drove me to the train station.

I took the train to Circular Quay and then took the Manly ferry across the harbour to meet friends to do a walk around Manly Beach for a couple hours. Once I got on the ferry, I was so happy to be on the water. Our walk around Manly beach was beautiful and we saw lots of flowers and some lizards.

When I returned to the place I was staying they weren´t home but they had given me a key. As I stepped in the door, the alarm went off. I tried calling him on the phone but was unable to get through. I kept expecting someone to show up and demand to know what I was doing there. I continued to try to reach him and after about 3/4 hour he finally answered the phone. I was quite rattled by that time. I told him I was having a rather alarming time since I got back to the house. He laughed and told me how to shut it off.

Next day was once again moving day. I had managed to get a room booked at the Beach House hostel in Collaroy. It was not far by bus and was nice and clean compared to the last one, and I was ready for all-girl hostel. It was $32 dollars a night and just down the street from a beautiful beach.

I soon discovered that internet was not free at the hostels. It was $2 for half an hour or $25 for seven days. Going online was a bit frustrating. I had been spoiled in Canada and in US, where I had found free internet in all the hostels and most of the hotels. It was not going to be so easy to keep in touch here.

To be continued.

Judy Marriot has fond memories of

THE GOOD OLD DAYS

One of my friends sent me a poem about the 40s and 50s and it got me to thinking about those wonderful days.

I remember when my father brought home our first TV set - it was called a "Fada", and it looked like a piece of furniture with a tiny little screen. I remember the test pattern - amazing! I am still not sure what the purpose of that test pattern was, but I can see it as plain as day.

It fascinated my sister and me - we thought it was wonderful. And no matter where we were, when it was "Howdy Doody Time", all the kids went home to watch him. TV was good back then, nothing violent, nasty, or dirty.

My mother made every single thing we ate from scratch. I can see her yet, standing in the kitchen, making cookies and pies and wonderful homemade bread. My sister and I would stand by the oven waiting for the bread to come out so we could have a big chunk of it with butter. It was wonderful.

Mom had a huge crock and it was always filled with cookies of all kinds. She worked for hours preparing meals with food that came from our own garden. The only thing they ever bought was milk and meat, and that would be called in to the local market and a delivery boy would bring it to our back door.

When we were kids, Kool Aid made its appearance. Every night, Mom and Dad, my sister and I would sit out under the maple tree in the back yard and eat Ritz crackers and drink Kool Aid, a pitcher full with lots of ice. They only had three flavours then - cherry, orange, and lime. We drank it from those old tumblers - they were insulated - and came in several colors. I can still feel their coldness in my hand when I think about them. Back then it was wonderful, but today it tastes terrible.

All of our clothes were ordered from Montgomery Ward catalogue. Once in a blue moon, Mom would take us to Hudson on the bus. We would walk down to the corner and anxiously wait for the bus to come along and stop for us. We loved it. And the fun of going to Hudson to shop - Woolworth´s, Kresge´s, Newberry´s - great stores. The record store - called The Fiddle Shop - on the rare occasions we did go to Hudson, my mother would always buy a record - 78s back then - and they always gave us a special bag to carry it in to protect it until we got home, when we immediately played it.

My sister and I walked to school and we always came home for lunch. When we got there, everything was ready for us and all we had to do was sit down and eat. I remember one time Mom ordered us some new fall jackets from Montgomery Ward catalogue. We came home for lunch and the jackets were there. Mine was red plaid and Amy´s (my sister) was blue plaid. Of course, we wore them back to school after we had lunch.

The milkman always left our milk on the back stoop. In the wintertime the cream froze and popped the lid, which was heavy cardboard. We even went outside in the winter time and picked icicles hanging down from the roof and carried them around and OMG - we actually ate them - and lived to tell about it. And Dad scooped up clean snow for "snow ice cream". I can see him yet, out there with a big spoon, scooping up the new-fallen snow, bringing it to Mom, and together they made the ice cream. Two cans of evaporated milk, for heaven sakes! And all that sugar!

Once a week, in the evening after supper, Dad would pile us all into his old Model A pickup truck. Mom sat in the front beside him, and my sister and I sat in the back. You could ride in the back of a truck in those days. We went to the river to watch the freight trains. Dad knew just when they would go through. I remember how exciting it was for us to hear that old freight train coming long before we could see it. We always counted the cars, too. The engineer never failed to wave, and then the best part - the caboose, with the conductor standing there with his red lantern. It was great. No more caboose now; only in our memories.

We had wonderful neighbours, and any one of them was there if we needed anything. And we shared everything - if you didn´t have it, your neighbors would gladly lend theirs, whatever it was.

Those were wonderful days, and people were happy. Didn´t have a lot of money; in fact, most of us were poor, but we didn´t even know it. We were safe, and loved. Life was simple and beautiful. The best of times, only a memory now.

Catherine Nesbitt forwards this instance of

AN UNDERSTANDABLE MISUNDERSTANDING

As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks. Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block.

All twelve of us raced out of the back yard and down the street, where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly. They glared at us with looks of disgust.

Suddenly, we realized why ... we were all still holding our roasting forks with marshmallows on them.

Just to refresh your memory, Bruce Galway sends these

TOOL DEFINITIONS

Old guys know them; young ones gotta learn!

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of yourhands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, "Oh sh--!"

SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-stylepaper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies,to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50-cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plasticbottles, collector magazines, refund cheques, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

SON-OF-A-BITCH TOOL: (A personal favourite!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across thegarage while yelling "Son of a BITCH!" at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

Jean Sterling sends this story:

OH, TO BE SIX AGAIN!

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she´d like to have for her birthday.

"I´d like to be six again," she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald´s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favourite candy, M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed, exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?:

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

"I meant my dress size, you idiot!"

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong.

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Carol Hansen says this is her kind of dog:

Catherine Nesbitt sends this link to a video which gives a valuable tip for retrieving things dropped down the sink:

Pat Moore suggests this video which permits you to travel around the world in 17 minutes:

Tom Williamson forwards this link to a video of a kayak setting a world record for the highest waterfall traversed near Lacrosse, Washington:

If you drink bottled water, or anything else from a plastic bottle, this could be one of the most important video you will watch all year. From the documentary "Tapped":

Interested in eating less oil? In this VideoNation/Hidden Driver report, animator Molly Schwartz tracks how many miles your food travels from field to fork:

At his carpet company, Interface, Ray Anderson has increased sales and doubled profits while turning the traditional "take/make/waste" industrial system on its head. In a gentle, understated way, he shares his powerful vision for sustainable commerce:

To check out the features of the "freedictionary", which changes daily, go to