Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2011-15

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Terry Remin returns to Sydney on her visit to Australia
• Correspondence: Jean Sterling writes
• Catherine Nesbitt explains why she forwards jokes
• Gerrit deLeeuw sends a story of a late-night lecture
• Rafiki reminds us of the parable of the mousetrap
• Bruce Galway´s story is about an unappreciative husband
• Catherine Green forwards some of the dumb answers given by quiz show contentants
• Zvonko Springer´s joke proves that hope springs eternal....
• Sites are suggested by Bruce Galway, Shirley Conlon, and Stan French

Terry Remin is spending the last few days with her father on her search for

A NEW LIFE

We drove all day and when we got to Wollongong, I realized it was a big city and we could not find the tourist information booth, so we drove aimlessly until I remembered that I had the hostel book and it would have at least a phone number to call to get directions. It turned out that the book had a map and we were very near it. In fact, we nearly drove right by it. We drove around in circles a bit until we actually found it. We went in and they only had a room with top bunks left in the men´s dorm and I said no way was Dad sleeping on a top bunk, so we called around till we found a room. It was the most expensive yet, but we were too tired as usual to argue, so we got directions and got on the motorway. The motel wasn´t much: brick walls inside, and we could only get internet if we sat outside, but it was home for a night.

The local RSL was only a few blocks away so we had a nice stroll and a great dinner before heading to bed. It had been a long and tiring day driving. When we got back I decided to book a room at the Pittwater hostel in Sydney for three days. It was on the top of a hill on an island and it looked quiet, and I really felt as if I needed some time to myself after being in someone´s pocket for 10 straight days. I needed some time to write and relax away from it all.

Bridge into Sidney (clickable)

We asked for a late check-out the next morning so we had time to have a cooked breakfast and get it together for our last day. We decided to drive the Princes Highway up the coast. We stopped at a bridge and there were a lot of people looking, so we decided to stop and have a look. What we found were all these padlocks that people had engraved names and dates and locked them onto the guard rail. There were hundreds of them. I was wishing I could have put one there for Terry´s and Dad´s Great Adventure.

Dad's favorite (Clickable)

Soon we were in Sydney with lots of traffic, and our adventure had come to an end, and what a grand adventure it had been!

I had booked into the Pittwater Hostel for the night we got back as Dad had made arrangements to stay with an old friend. Pittwater Hostel overlooks the Sydney Bay and is only accessible by ferry/water taxi or bushwalk because it is a National park within the city of Sydney. I knew that I would need groceries but I had too much to keep track of as it was, without the groceries. Unfortunately, I had not carefully read the information that said it was a 15-minute walk to the top of the hill. What, no elevator? I wanted peace and quiet, but you should be careful what you ask for.

I got off the bus at Church Point, the ferry stop and had a wait until the next ferry so I had a bit of lunch at a shop nearby. The ferry ride was nice - a fairly small boat where ferries are concerned. I bought a round trip ticket because I knew I had to come back for groceries that day. There was a family from Sydney on the ferry and the woman was very friendly so we chatted on our way across. They were there to have a bit of a getaway. This hostel is really within Sydney, a mere 15 minute bus ride, so it is a great place to get away without going far. When I got there I was so glad I had sturdy wheels on my bag and surprisingly enough, it rolled up pretty well. The track was fairly worn but a bit rocky, so my little bag got quite a work out.

On the way up I saw a wild turkey so I took a breather just to watch. I stopped for another breather and there was a wallaby sitting under a tree next to an interesting stump. Mother Nature does paint such pretty pictures, doesn´t she? As I got up to the hostel, I spotted two trees standing close together with lumpy bits at the bottom and my imagination made them into giant emu feet.

There were a couple of famous robots at the door to greet guests as they arrived, as a nearby newspaper clipping pointed out. There were also some wonderfully decorated fish hanging. It looked as if people had lots of fun when they come here. I got my bags settled in my room and had a rest before returning to the ferry. I didn´t know I was supposed to put the flag up on the dock to let the ferryman know he had a pick up, but luckily for me, he came anyway. It was hot sitting out there and I enjoyed being on the water and was happy to have an excuse for another ride. I took the bus back to Mona Vale, picked up tasty morsels to spoil myself with for the next three days, and returned to the hostel to make myself a nice dinner.

Because we were in a remote area of Sydney I could only get internet access on the hostel´s computer that came through the phone line. As a result I was not distracted by the internet and managed to do a lot of reading, lying in the hammocks or on the leather couches in the lounge, writing, and taking walks when I needed a break from writing. The kitchen was well supplied and had a water boiler, so tea or coffee was ready in seconds.

The next day a troop of Girl Guides arrived so there were lots of people, but it was still very restful. There was lots of wildlife around to watch and beautiful sunsets to marvel at. We got to watch the antics of the resident food-stealing magpies, noisy cockatoos, fierce-looking goannas, and gentle wallabies gadding about the place, and lots of friendly people to chat with when one needed a bit of company. Just what the doctor ordered!

When I left and was sitting waiting for the bus to arrive at Church Point, the cicadas, seasonal insects, were very loud.

A friend of Dad´s had invited me to stay at their house for the last few days that my Dad would be there. It was my plan to leave the same day as he did and head to Yapoon. When I went to book the flight to fly on the Monday, I found it would cost $250, but on Wednesday it was $65, so I decided on the Wednesday. I was fortunate that the airport had just reopened that week, after the floods had closed it.

Dad and I had another movie night and on the last night I made supper ... jambalaya and deep dish apple crumble with sweet pastry crust. It is a challenge cooking here, finding the right ingredients as well as having to use a Celsius oven.

I went with Dad to see him off at the airport, and his friend dropped me off at a new hostel in the city that had an airport shuttle so it would be easy for me to get to the airport. It was named The Bounce. It was a really nice place ... clean and very well set up. I had a day to wander around down town and look for clothes in the opportunity shops.

I spotted a sign on the kitchen notice board for a German traveller offering haircuts for $15, and she did a great razor cut. I had a private bathroom that came with my four-bedroom dorm, so I sat on the toilet while she cut my hair and I helped her with her English. It was fun! I had to colour my hair and rinse it in the shallow little sink and I realized the next day I had made my mark on the wall for posterity - permanent hair dye. I have left that mark everywhere I have lived.

To be continued.

CORRESPONDENCE

Jean Sterling writes: I really liked Geoff Goodship´s letter about Libya. He had some excellent thoughts and expressed them very well. Every sentence made so much sense!

He wrote, "A civil war is happening in Libya. Canadians were not invited...."

The US wasn´t invited either, but that didn´t matter - they barged in anyway.

"Canada permits just one man, the Prime Minister, to declare war on many others simply by calling another man a dictator."

Our president doesn´t have the power to declare war. According to the constitution, the power to declare war belongs to Congress. The last time Congress declared war was in 1941.

Also, I thought the jokes were especially good. I read several of them to my husband, and we were both LOL.

Catherine Nesbitt explains

WHY I FORWARD JOKES

Sometimes we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don´t know what, and don´t know how, you forward jokes.

Also, to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get? A forwarded joke.

So next time if you get a joke, don´t think that you´ve been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you´ve been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

Gerrit deLeeuw forwards this one about

A LATE LECTURE

A man is stopped by the police around 1 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, "I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body."

The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replies, "My wife."

Rafiki sends this familiar parable about

THE MOUSETRAP

A mouse looked through a crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package.

"What food might this contain?" the mouse wondered. He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed this warning: "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The pig sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow and said, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I´m sorry for you, but it´s no skin off my nose."

So the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer´s mousetrap alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house - the sound of the mousetrap snapping.

The farmer´s wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see the venomous snake whose tail was caught in the trap.

The snake bit the farmer´s wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital.

When she returned home she still had a fever. Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup´s main ingredient: the chicken.

But his wife´s sickness continued. Friends and neighbours came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig. But alas, the farmer´s wife did not get well ... she died.

So many people came for her funeral that the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them for the funeral luncheon.

And the mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.

So the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and you think it doesn´t concern you, remember - when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk. We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.

Bruce Galway forwards a familiar joke which is still funny - to women, anyway:

FORTY YEARS OF MARRIAGE

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly a tiny beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."

The wife answered, "Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband."

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I´m sorry, my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."

The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!... the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful b*stards should remember that fairies are female....

Catherine Green forwarded these

DUMBEST EVER QUIZ ANSWERS

From regional radio shows to "Who Wants To be a Millionaire?" and "University Challenge," people make fools of themselves with dumb answers. Here are leading contenders for the "Dumb Down" gold medal:

Presenter: What was Gandhi´s first name?

Contestant: Goosey Goosey.

~~~~~~~

Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?

Contestant: I don´t know; I wasn´t watching it then.

~~~~~~~

Presenter: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

Contestant: Forrest Gump

~~~~~~~

Presenter: In which country is Mount Everest?

Contestant: Er, it´s not in Scotland, is it?

~~~~~~~

Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.

Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

~~~~~~~

Presenter: In which European city was the first opera house opened in 1637?

Contestant: Sydney.

~~~~~~~

Presenter: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant: (after long pause) Fourteen days.

~~~~~~~

Presenter: Where did the D-Day landings take place?

Contestant: (after pause) Pearl Harbor?

~~~~~~~

Presenter: What is the currency in India?

Contestant: Ramadan.

~~~~~~~

Presenter: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?

Contestant: Jesus.

Zvonko Springer forwards this story of remarkable

OPTIMISM

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in an adult community.

A man walked over and sat down on the other end of the bench.

After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?"

He replies, "I lived here years ago."

"So, where were you all these years?"

"In prison," he says.

"Why did they put you in prison?"

He looked at her, and very quietly said, "I killed my wife."

"Oh!" said the woman. "So you"re single...?!"

SUGGESTED SITES

Bruce Galway forwards this link, which shows a robin tending her nest:

Shirley Conlon sends this link to a video of Mario Lanza singing Ave Maria, accompanied by a young boy, whose voice may have been dubbed by soprano Elaine Malbin, perhaps best remembered for appearing in several opera roles live for television with the NBC Opera Theatre and for recording music with Lanza for the 1951 film "The Great Caruso":

Stan French suggests the URL to a site in which a woman models a beautiful fur coat:

Is social media a fad, or is it the biggest shift since the Industrial Revolution? This video details out social media facts and figures for 2009. In the meantime, the shift has speeded up:

We are under the collective delusion that buying things in a big-box store will be less expensive. But we know it is better long-term policy to support local businesses. Local businesses contribute the most right back into the local economy, by a ratio of about 3:1.

Michale Shuman, author of "Going Local" and "The Small Mart Revolution" explains in this interview with Peak Moment TV that the ship is beginning to turn around: we are beginning to see the improving economics of local businesses.

To check out the features of the "freedictionary", which change daily, go to

http://members.shaw.ca/vjjsansum/freedictionarytestpageV2.html