Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2011-17

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IN THIS ISSUE

• We say au revoir to Terry Remin
• We welcome back Lyle Meeres as he tells of another tour
• I borrowed this piece on Winter from Lew Carter´s News
• Gerrit deLeeuw and Stan French both received error messages
• This story is about three couples trying to resist temptation
• Gerrit forwards an entertaining list of truisms
• Sites are suggested by Catherine Green, Louise Kruithof, and Nevil Horsfall

TERRY REMIN´S QUEST FOR A NEW LIFE

We leave Terry in Australia, musing on her past life and looking forward to further adventures in her search for a new beginning. For readers who wish to follow Terry´s story, go to her blog at

http://Terryremin.posterous.com

Lyle Meeres takes along on another of their travels, this one through

IRELAND BY BUS AND CAR

Everything they tell you about Ireland is true: much is emerald green; the people are warm; and there is a sense of spirit behind the land. What they don´t tell you is also true: the green is due to frequent showers; there is galloping inflation; and you´ll see nary a leprechaun. Since Ireland is changing rapidly, it would be wise to see Ireland soon. As the cliche says, "It doesn´t get any better than this."

My wife Pat, our friend Donna, and I flew on Air Canada from Calgary to Toronto to Dublin and checked into our Airport Holiday Inn rooms the morning of our arrival. With the help of a man at the airport we discovered we could go into Dublin and back for five Euros each by getting tickets from a machine. Once in Dublin we used the "Hop On, Hop Off" bus (for 14 Euros) to try to get our bearings - and to stay awake. The bus guide gave us our introduction to Irish humour. As jet- lagged slugs, we did no hopping on and off.

Back at the hotel, we met Bev and Andy, the Fraser Connection Tour guides for our two-week bus trip, and we met some other people among the 22 on the tour.

Drinks in the bar were about 3.50 Euros per gin and 1.70 per little bottle of tonic, so my Irish whiskey was the bargain. A drunk at the bar looked at the two cubes of ice in my drink and mumbled, "Too much water." I chuckled, thinking he would be very upset if he knew how much water I usually add to my drinks. Come to think of it, he did not use a nasty tone in his comment - it was friendly advice!

Donna chose beef for supper, Pat had lamb chops, and I had sea bass. With a chianti wine, the bill came to over 100 Euros, which was about $165 Canadian dollars. All three meals were excellent.

The Irish serve a big breakfast and the first morning was a pleasing introduction, with the exception of the coffee. We found that coffee in Ireland varies from excellent to instant.

The bus trip to Adare was slow at first because the M50 motorway around Dublin was very busy. Adare itself was attractively painted, with some thatched roofs and a church with character. My camera battery was low and I didn´t have access to my spare, so I bought several postcards. I must remember to charge both batteries before I go on a major trip. The walk after lunch was pleasant, but Adare is groomed to an English ideal.

We saw the turnoff for Kilkenny. I was pleased to know what to expect when we drove our rental car because Kilkenny was our first B&B location. I bought a road atlas in Dublin, too, so we had a pretty good idea of our route. The bus took us past Limerick to Tralee, where we saw from the bus the narrow gauge railway (though no roses), and the Blennerville windmill (circa 1800), which Andy told us is a tourist ripoff.

The bus did not have air conditioning. It became much too hot and we couldn´t just sleep because the roads got narrower and narrower, so we had to help the bus driver as he inched his way forward when we met another bus on the route over the Slieve Mish Mountains. We drove through light rain on our way to Dingle.

When we reached the Dingle Skellig Hotel, there was a wedding party in progress, so the place was hopping. However, the rooms were big, classy, and pleasing. As with breakfast, dinner was included in the tour costs. We all had the beef, and the steak that arrived was huge, a bit tough, and tasty. The vegetables were lightly cooked and good. The next day was a 10:00 a.m. departure.

The wedding guests went outside to smoke and talked so loudly that we had a poor sleep. In the morning, we drove the narrow twisty roads to Dunbeg, an Iron Age fort which sits on a point on the coast. A short distance further along, we saw the beehive huts which pilgrims could rent from priests. We could not see the Skelligs jutting up because the sky was so low. We ate lunch at the Blasket Centre, where we saw a video on the rough life of the dwellers on the Blasket Islands. They survived on fishing and subsistence agriculture until the population declined so much that the remaining people were relocated.

We also visited the ruins of Kilmalkedar Church and graveyard, and we saw the Gallarus Oratory, which is a small drystone early Christian church. Some of these old structures will not survive indefinitely - one side of the oratory roof has a sag that could spell ruin.

On our return to Dingle, some of the houses tucked into the hills and valleys looked quite idyllic. We wandered the town and did a bit of shopping that included chasing down tonic and Irish whiskey so we could avoid some of the expensive lounge drinks. Back at the hotel, dinner was good. Donna had boar, Pat had duck, and I had brill, a fish that was new to me. It was a good day.

On Sunday, September 5, we left Dingle and returned to Limerick, stopping at Tralee to see the museum, which includes an effectively presented medieval street complete with sounds. Later we arrived at Bunratty Castle, which had scaffolding on it, so we gave it a brief look only.

We then drove through Galway to the Connemara Hotel. Again it is a good hotel but it was a long drive. We ate salmon and pork and enjoyed the company of a lady from Vienna who raised thoroughbreds, and had a strong interest in genealogy that took her to Trinity College in Dublin.

To be continued.

Lew Carter printed this piece in Lew´s News:

WINTER

It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married, and embarking on a new life, yet in another way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where the years went. I know I lived all of them. And I have glimpses of how it was back then, and of all my hopes and dreams. But here it is, the winter of my life, and it catches me by surprise. How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go, and where did my babies go? And where did my youth go?

I remember seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years ahead of me, and winter was so far ahead of me I couldn´t even imagine what it would be like. But it´s here. My friends are retired and getting gray. They´re no longer young and vibrant. They move slower and take longer. Their age is beginning to show, and here I am, suddenly one of them, an older person that I never thought I´d be. How did I come so far so quickly?

Each day now I find that accomplishing a shower is a target for the day, and taking a nap isn´t a treat any more; it´s a necessity. If I don´t nap of my own free will, I´ll fall asleep where I sit.

So now I enter this new season of my life unprepared for aches and pains, and for the loss of strength and ability to just go ahead and do things like I used to.

At least, though, I realize that winter is here, but I have no idea how long it will last, and I realize, too, that when it´s over it´s over. I have some regrets, yes. I did some things I wish I hadn´t done, and I see things I should have done and didn´t, but I also see many things I´m glad to have done and wish I´d done more.

If you´re not in your winter yet, let me remind you that it will be here faster than you think. So whatever you want to accomplish in your life, get to it quickly. Don´t put things off. Get things done now because you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not. You can´t be sure you´ll see all the seasons of your life, so live to do good things today; say all the things you want your loved ones to remember, and hope that they appreciate and love you for what you´ve meant to them in all the years past.

Life is a gift. The way you live it is your gift to those who come after.

Gerrit deLeeuw, who lives in Alberta, and Stan French from Ontario both send this report:

INSTALLING SPRING...

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|||||||| 44% DONE.

Install delayed ... please wait.

Installation failed. Please try again. 404 error: Season not found. Season "Spring" cannot be located. The season you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed, or is temporarily unavailable.

Please try again.

Here is the story of

THREE COUPLES

Three couples - one elderly, one middle-aged, one young and newly wed - apply for membership in a church. The pastor informs them that the requirement for new parishioners is that they abstain from sex for two weeks. The couples agree and go their separate ways.

After two weeks, they return. The pastor asks the elderly pair if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "No problem at all, Pastor," replies the old man.

"Congratulations!" says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." He turns to the middle-aged couple and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "It was difficult," replies the husband. "By the end of the second week, I had to sleep on the couch, but we did it."

"Congratulations on overcoming temptation," says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." He then turns to the newlyweds and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks.

"At first it was no problem," says the husband. "But one day my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf, and she dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," says the pastor.

"We know," says the young man. "We´re not welcome at the supermarket any more either."

There are new ones in these forwarded by Gerrit deLeeuw:

TRUISMS

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it´s still on the list.

If I agreed with you we´d both be wrong.

We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening," and then proceed to tell you why it isn´t.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay cheques.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don´t need it.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "Doctor."

I didn´t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it ... so I said "Implants?"

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Hospitality: making your guests feel as if they´re at home, even if you wish they were.

I discovered I scream the same way whether I´m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

There´s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can´t get away.

I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department usually uses water.

You´re never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Some people hear voices; some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Catherine Green sends this link to a video of a cat and a dolphin:

Louise Kruithof suggests this clip from Cirque du Soleil. The dancers are a couple in life:

Nevil Horsfall suggests this site for a depiction of the journey of mankind from its beginning in Africa to the rest of the world, as best evidence can show us now:

A former credit card thief has confessed online that credit card crime, which rakes in more than $500m a year in the US, is "ridiculously easy" to commit.

Using stolen numbers that cost $10 to $50 apiece, Dan DeFelippi manufactured genuine-looking credit cards from blanks, programming their magnetic stripes, and used them to buy hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of merchandise at stores, which he then sold online:

This video is of two dogs eating lunch and appreciating every bite:

Imagine a highway that pays for itself, generates plenty of energy, and even flashes information to drivers using LED technology. The inventors claim that using solar roadways, we would generate three times the amount of energy that we use today. See the prototype in this video:

The Hunger Site I have mentioned before now has an added window to click on: one for homeless veterans in the US. In a sidebar on this window, It claimed that a recent study found that on any given night, there may be over 75,600 veterans without a home. By clicking on this site, you help give food and shelter to these veterans. The other windows remain the same: hunger, breast cancer, children´s health, literacy, and the rainforest. It still takes less than a minute to click on all six sites, unless you are tempted by the bargains advertised on each page.

To check out the features of the "freedictionary", which changes daily, go to

http://members.shaw.ca/vjjsansum/freedictionarytestpageV2.html