Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2011-19

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Lyle Meeres resumes his story of their tour of Ireland
• Verda Cook writes about her busy retirement activities
• Tony Lewis forwards a timely story about a politician
• Pat Moore sends a poem about computer problems
• Catherine Nesbitt interprets a technical support diagnosis
• Marilyn Magid´s story is about a misunderstanding
• Sites are suggested by Bruce Galway, Carol Hansen, Gerrit deLeeuw, Tom Williamson, and Tony Lewis

Lyle Meeres and his wife and friend are touring Belfast on their visit to

IRELAND BY BUS AND CAR

Last week´s instalment mentioned the ugly murals with threatening words and pictures on many walls, all illegal of course, but portraying dead heroes and armed men. Here is a picture of one of these murals:

After lunch we went to the Grand Opera House and took the 50-minute tour. The plush and gold interior has a rich, old-fashioned appeal. They were about to build on two sides of the building but intended to preserve the original building. Then we walked through Spires Mall, which has shops in a church. Perhaps others see a contradiction here, too, because most of the shops were deserted - only the first shop, with its international flavour, seemed worthwhile.

We walked over to City Hall, with its impressive domes at each corner. A symphony orchestra was playing on the grounds, as part of BBC´s "Prom in the Park." We walked over to the market, which on Saturday sells mostly fruit and vegetables. There was a band playing and one black and white photograph display was striking.

That night was pub night so we ate on the second floor of the Crown Liquor Saloon, a pub owned by the National Trust, featuring a restored Victorian interior complete with wooden "snugs", which were more private, walled drinking areas. When we arrived the first floor was absolutely jammed, so four of us went upstairs and discovered that Tennant beer pleases most palates. Donna and Pat ate Guinness and beef pie, which had risen to spectacular height and was excellent. I had lamb chops.

On Sunday we left at 9:25, five minutes early - no one in the group caused delays. We drove the coastal route past the Mountains of Mourne, which seemed to me to be big hills that varied from green to barren. We drove on through spotty rain to Dublin, where our bus took us on a city tour - helpful to us this time since we were more awake.

Bev and Andy got us into Trinity College to see the Book of Kells. Once we arrived at the page that was opened for that day, the room was dark and crowded so we had little time to really examine the medieval work, copied by monks, many of whom were illiterate. What a lot of artistic work to illuminate the pages and to print the text! The impressive old library had a dusty-looking collection of 200,000 antiquarian texts that extended almost endlessly along the sides of a huge Long Room. In the gift shop, Pat bought a Celtic needlework kit based on a Kells´ design and I bought two bookmarks featuring Celtic designs.

Then we found our hotel. The Brooks Hotel impressed me with an old- fashioned sense of quality as soon as we entered.

On Monday, September 13, Bev, Andy, and Drew got lost getting us out of Dublin, which was little wonder with the 4.5-km construction of a tunnel to allow trucks more direct access to Dublin port. Bev got directions and we made our way out of Dublin to the Irish National Stud Farm. We walked through the Japanese gardens and toured the farm with a guide. There were many expensive horses, one stallion being valued at eight million Euros. The stallions´ sense of territoriality would lead to terrible fights, so only one stallion could be placed in one field, with double fences between fields so the horses could not inflict damage on each other, especially by biting. Some of the miniature horses were cute, and that is one reason they were there: to please the tourists. The other reason was that they come to the farm to foal.

Statue of Molly Malone Click to enlarge

We got back to the Brooks Hotel about 3:30 and wanted to walk to something nearby. We promptly got lost but found others from our group who had been lost. The next time we got twisted up, a friendly fellow set us straight and we were able to walk Grafton Street, which is a commercial area set up for pedestrians. I got a good picture of a traditional drummer seated in front of the statue of Molly Malone.

On our free day in Dublin, September 14, we walked to the National Museum, a good one. We saw the Irish gold dating back to the Bronze Age, the Cross of Cong (a processional cross from 1123), the Tara brooch from about 700 AD, and sections on the Viking influence, Egypt, Medieval Ireland, and modern Ireland.

After the museum we walked to #29, a house set up to display Georgian life. We watched a video for background and spent about an hour with a guide going through the various levels. The tour revealed details about life in 18th century Ireland. The doors had semi-circular fanlights above them which were beautiful.

We intended to stop at a pub for lunch but got lost. With help from two gentlemen at two different times, we returned to Grafton Street, where pub soup, sandwich and beer was just over 20 Euros. If we think of Euros as dollars, it sounds inexpensive, but that´s misleading. Our dollar is not worth as much as a Euro.

We returned to the Brooks Hotel for our farewell dinner. We were sorry to separate. Fraser Connection Tours gave us enough days in each location to feel that we had explored reasonably, and we enjoyed our travelmates. We paid our bills to save time in the morning.

We kept the breakfast simple. Porters took our suitcases down and into taxis. At the airport, the three of us went to the Irish Car Rentals (Sixte) where we included Donna as second driver, took out car insurance, and split the bill (277.74 Euros, expensive to us, but fair in Ireland.) I had already paid a deposit of 168.88 Euros. A van drove us to the rental lot. The car was a very plain Ford Mondeo, automatic, with no hub cap and a beat-up rim on the left front. I was to learn how that could happen.

We got away smoothly and onto the ring road, the M50, after a bit of a drive on the M1. After paying 1.50 Euros toll, we found the N7 turnoff and I felt a bit more comfortable. I´d been awake a lot during the night with nervous tension. The N7 led us to the N9 and then the N10. Coming off one small roundabout I found out why the left front tire rim was in poor shape: I clipped the curb. We reached Kilkenny, found the R700, and a bit out of town found Hillgrove B&B. We were early but Margaret let us put our luggage in the rooms and away we went.

In Kilkenny, we missed the parking Margaret told us about and found ourselves doing what my guidebook said not to do, namely, driving the narrow roads of Ireland´s loveliest and best preserved medieval city. By angling off to one side, we made it through and lucked into a roundabout that could take us back to Hillgrove or back into Kilkenny.

We made another try for Kilkenny but we still couldn´t see Margaret´s suggested parking place, so I turned up a hill and we parked near a district library. We ended up with a long walk along the old walls to Kilkenny Castle. The castle was built in the 1190s but has seen renovations and restorations.

Across the street was the Design Centre, a former stable, now an arts and crafts centre with a good reputation. We ate above the Design Centre and then toured the castle, where no cameras were allowed. We started with a video for background once again, and learned that the Butler family had much to do with most things in the area. The young woman leading the tour had an excellent sense of humour. The Long Gallery was most impressive. We also enjoyed the view of the grounds, an extensive park.

To be continued

CORRESPONDENCE

Verda Cook writes about volunteering during her retirement: I have been very busy. I am on a committee to organize a senior´s retreat in spring and fall. Our spring retreat will be held on Monday, May 9th. Included in the programme is a panel discussion on how to get young adults and seniors interacting more, and I was chosen to be the moderator of this panel. I have some research to do. I am also programme convener for our seniors´ club (Sunshine Club), and we have a meeting this week. As past president of the local Horticultural Society, I am on the flower show committee, and the flower show is also being held on May 9th, so as soon as my part of the programme is completed at the seniors´ retreat I need to scurry over to the next little town and help with tabulating the judges´ results at the flower show.

I normally do not allow myself to become so involved, but I didn´t check my calendar when the dates for the flower show and seniors´ retreat were announced, and I only realized much later that they are both on the same day. I will make a note to be more vigilant in the future!

In connection with that, here is a little poem:

My forgetter´s getting better
But my rememberer is broke.
To you that may seem funny, but
To me, that is no joke.

For when I´m "here" I´m wondering
If I really should be "there".
And when I try to think it through,
I haven´t got a prayer!

Ofttimes I walk into a room,
Say, "What am I here for?"
I wrack my brain, but all in vain;
A zero is my score.

At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!

When shopping I may see someone,
Say, "Hi" and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away,
I aks myself, "Who´s that?"

Yes, my forgetter´s getting better
While my rememberer is broke
And it´s driving me plumb crazy
And that isn´t any joke!

(Author unknown or maybe forgotten).

Tony Lewis forwards this version of an older story, geared to the recent election in Canada:

POLITICALLY CORRECT

While walking down the street one day, a "Member of Parliament" is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a politician around these parts, you see, so we´re not sure what to do with you."

"No problem; just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I´d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we´ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I´ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the MP.

"I´m sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar, and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly and nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises....

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven, where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it´s time to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing on harps and singing. They have a good time and before he realises it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you´ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before. I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the lift and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the lift open and he´s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and rubbish.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up trash and putting it into black bags as more rubbish falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"I don´t understand," stammers the MP. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there´s just a wasteland full of rubbish and my friends look miserable.

"What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...

"Today you voted."

Pat Moore forwards this verse which is related to my problems recently, when every address disappeared at once from my address book. That is why you may be receiving two copies of the Tale Spinner, or none at all:

COMPUTER CRASH!

What causes such frustration it could drive a man to drink?There´s nothing worse than having your computer on the blink!

What makes you feel more helpless, even more than lack of cash?There´s no more helpless feeling than a bad computer crash!

The cause might be a virus that can take away your smiles,Or some computer monster that has eaten all your files.

For days you stay off-line, and all your e-mail goes unread,And each day you discover more gray hairs are on your head.

You got along just fine before computers, there´s no doubt.But now you find they´re something you just cannot live without.

The times when you´ll have problems you cannot predict or tell,So every day your prayer is just, "Keep my computer well!"

Speaking of computer problems, Catherine Nesbitt sends this one:

TECHNICAL SOLUTIONS

Looking over the log book kept by the computer support staff at my office, I noticed several entries stating the problem was PICNIC.

I asked one of the technicians what PICNIC meant.

He laughed as he told me it meant, "Problem In Chair, Not In Computer."

ED. NOTE: I have a lot of those problems!

Marilyn Magid sends this example of

ONE BENEFIT OF HEARING LOSS

Two women run into each other outside an exclusive department store. The first woman is carrying lots of packages and it´s clear she´s been power shopping.

Woman One: "Sweetie, I don´t know why we haven´t seen you around the club lately. I ran into your doctor and he said he told you to diet and exercise."

Woman Two: "Really? Well, bless your heart for telling me. I sure thought he said, ´Buy it and accessorize!´"

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Bruce Galway sends this link to a very clever ad for the VW beetle:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ulbjaKmKG0

And to see how the video was made, go to

Carol Hansen forwards the URL for a video of a courageous little dog and the resourceful people who adopted him:

Gerrit deLeeuw suggests this link for photos filmed from the only Zeppelin in the US. The "Eureka" is one of a new breed of lighter- than-air ships, based in California and offering sight-seeing rides of the Bay area and Monterey:

Tom Williamson forwards this timely site warning of the dangers of cell phone photos:

Tony Lewis forwards this link to a great commercial which will be appreciated by people who feel the years hurrying by, and motorcycle riders:

There have been many videos of flash mobs in various locations with different objectives. This one is of a flash mall mob cheering a bottle recycler:

I have mentioned this site before for those who look in vain for good- news stories in the daily media. Heroic Stories has been telling about people helping people for years, reassuring us that there are still many people of goodwill and many acts of kindness in the world around us:

To subscribe go to http://www.HeroicStories.com

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The "freedictionary", which changes daily, features a challenging vocabulary match and an always-fun hangman game, as well as a daily quote, and a birthday mention: