Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2011-26

---

IN THIS ISSUE

• Gerrit deLeeuw visits a theatre connected to a school of the arts
• Bill McNair sends information of interest to Canadian veterans
• Catherine Green finds the perfect alternative to a nursing home
• Catherine Nesbitt forwards the story of the missing lawn
• Ron McVey is overwhelmed by the proliferation of modern devices
• Pat Moore sends a story by a rescue dog
• Norma Patterson´s story is about a with-it grandmother
• Don Henderson tells a tale of male sensitivity
• Sites are suggested by Catherine Nesbitt, Gerrit, Pat Moore, and Tom Williamson

Gerrit deLeeuw writes about a visit to

ROSEBUD, ALBERTA

Today we went to Rosebud. I don´t know if anyone outside the province is familiar with this jewel of a place just 90 km north-east of Calgary, close to Drumheller.

Rosebud was a dying town, like so many others on the prairies. In cooperation with EnCana (which remains a major sponsor) and the Alberta Foundation of the Arts, the Rosebud School of the Arts was established, which revived the little town into a popular place to go. There you get an excellent meal followed by a professional play in the old Rosebud Theatre.

The dining room and ushering in the theatre provide students who attend the school with some pocket money, while they have the opportunity to participate in plays in the last of the four-year program in acting. The school attracts students from as far away as the UK.

The same school produces the "Passion Play", which is played in the natural setting of the Drumheller badlands.

Three years ago we attended this play. We had a most realistic experience: just at the point of the crucifixion in the play, a severe thunderstorm moved through the area. We could not have been there at a better time. Despite getting soaking wet it was a real experience!

Today we watched W. O. Mitchell´s "Jake and the Kid", an adaptation by B. Douglas, an excellent play in ideal settings. We both thoroughly enjoyed the play as well as the preceding buffet dinner.

We discovered this jewel of a place several years ago and have bought season tickets to it for at least the past six years. It is also a place for busloads of seniors attending from as far away as Edmonton on a regular basis.

To read more about the theatre, go to http://www.rosebudtheatre.com/

Bill McNair sends this information for Canadian veterans about

DVA BENEFITS

There are benefits that some Canadian veterans may not be aware of. They can go to this website: http://www.veterans.gc.ca/eng/ and check the benefits and pensions for veterans who served in the Canadian military, now and in the past.

The government infused $200,000,000 into assistance for veterans; the health benefits are excellent.

If veterans do not have a computer or access to one, they can phone 1-866-522-2122 to receive forms to submit.

Caherine Green writes:

No NURSING HOME FOR ME!

I´ll be checking into a Holiday Inn!

With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble. I´ve already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.

For a combined long-term stay discount and senior discount, it´s $59.23 per night.

Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon.

That leaves $128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.

Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

$5 worth of tips a day´ll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

They treat you like a customer, not a patient.

There´s a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.

The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).

To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you´re at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.

And you´re not stuck in one place forever - you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.

Want to see Hawaii? They have Holiday Inn there too.

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they´ll call an ambulance ... or the undertaker.

If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grandkids can use the pool.

What more could I ask for?

ED. NOTE: The prices quoted evidently apply to the US; Canadian readers should check out Canadian prices if they are attracted by this idea.

Catherine Nesbitt asks:

DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE STOLEN FRONT LAWN?

A story in the Edmonton Journal by Ryan Cormier told about an Edmonton home-owner who was puzzled about her disappearing lawn.

Denise Thompson had a beautiful front lawn, thick and green. It was where her four children and two dogs played, and where she drank coffee on sunny mornings.

Then someone stole it. They didn´t even leave a note.

"Now my place looks as if I´m a farmer who just plowed and is ready to put his seeds down," she said.

Thompson and her children went to visit her husband in Stettler Friday morning. They returned to their Kilkenny neighbourhood home Sunday afternoon. The family entered through the back door and everything seemed fine.

Then Thompson opened the blinds on the large picture window in the front room.

"Oh my God," she thought. "Where is my grass?"

She went outside to the swath of ugly, brown dirt that had replaced her lawn. She thought there might be a note to explain an accident, like when someone dings your car in the mall parking lot. There were no clues.

Thompson canvassed neighbours and several reported a white truck and trailer parked at her house. No one thought it was suspicious. Just another landscaping job.

Thompson believes that a landscaping company messed up the address on a job.

Though she laughed about the bizarre disappearance, the potential cost of replacing the greenery is on her mind. Her insurance company is baffled by her story and hasn´t decided if she will be compensated.

"My boys are excited they don´t have to mow the grass, but I really need the people who did this to come forward. I can´t afford this."

To find the sequel to the story, click here: http://arunaurl.com/4ac3

Ron McVey sends this story for people who are over 50:

MODERN DEVICES

When I bought my Blackberry I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1,800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures, and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great-grandkids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Tweetie, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world. My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Bluetooth [it´s red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dashboard, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-cal-cu-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was as if she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead ... well ... it was not a good relationship.

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and, while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for four years, but I still haven´t figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?", I say, "Doesn´t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it´s their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

I was recently asked if I tweet. I said, "No, but I do toot a lot."

PS: Us senior citizens don´t need any more gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.

Pat Moore sends a story by a rescue dog:

I RESCUED A HUMAN TODAY

Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor, peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her.

I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn´t be afraid.

As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn´t want her to know that I hadn´t been walked today. Sometimes the shelter keepers get too busy and I didn´t want her to think poorly of them.

As she read my kennel card, I hoped that she wouldn´t feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone´s life.

She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me. I shoved my shoulder and side of my head up against the bars to comfort her. Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate for companionship.

A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well.

Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms.

I would promise to keep her safe. I would promise to always be by her side. I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes.

I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor. So many more are out there who haven´t walked the corridors; so many more to be saved! At least I could save one.

I rescued a human today.

Norma Patterson sends this one:

HAPPY GARDENING!

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra.

Her grandmother just pitches a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!

The teenager tells her, "Loosen up, Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!" And out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die.

She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate....

The grandmother says, "Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rose buds, then I can display my hanging baskets."

Don Henderson sends this example of

MALE SENSITIVITY

The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."

She looked at the men in the room: "And gentlemen, remember - you´re in this together. It wouldn´t hurt you to go walking with her."

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

"Yes?" answered the instructor.

"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

...This kind of sensitivity just can´t be taught.

SUGGESTED SITES

Catherine Nesbitt sends a link to a time-lapse video of a space ship launch:

Catherine also forwards a link to a session of Britain´s Got Talent in which an unlikely-looking man has a surprising voice:

Gerrit deLeeuw suggests this video of George Burns singing "I wish I was 18 again":

Pat Moore sends the URL to a video entitled "Learn how to dance from nature":

Tom Williamson forwards a link to a moving story and powerful voice in this Korea´s Got Talent:

Daniel Kraft offers a fast-paced look at the next few years of innovations in medicine, powered by new tools, tests and apps that bring diagnostic information right to the patient´s bedside:

This information is supplied by OpenMedia.ca: The government is trying to push through an anti-Internet set of electronic surveillance laws that will invade your privacy and cost you money. They´re calling it "Lawful" Access - we´re calling it warrantless, invasive, costly, and poorly thought out. The plan is to force every phone and Internet provider to surrender our personal information to "authorities" without a warrant. Check out their website at

To check out the features of the "freedictionary", which changes daily, go to