Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2011-43

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Dalton Deedrick continues his tale of his volunteer work in Africa
• Lyle Meeres concludes his account of a visit to northern Spain
• Bruce Galway forwards a reflection on meaningful living
• Catherine Nesbitt sends a sad golf story
• Carol Dilworth shares some doctors´ experiences with patients
• This officer testifying in a court case thinks on his feet
• Sites are suggested by Betty Fehlhaber, Bruce Galway, Catherine Nesbitt, Gerrit deLeeuw, Pat Moore, Tom Williamson, and Tony Lewis

Dalton Deedrick resumes his story of a stint of volunteer dentistry during

A MONTH IN AFRICA

March 18 - Saturday. Awake to the bird songs, and before arising, watched the little lizards scampering up and down the walls, hopefully reducing the population of "dudus", i.e., bugs. This is dry season, so mosquitos are scarce and the danger of malaria is minimal. Advice re using the net over the bed was, "If you want to." I haven´t.

Sister M.C. wants me to see the better side of Thika, so she drove us in after lunch. There is a nice set of waterfalls on the Thania River on the town outskirts, a park-like setting, and a little craft market nearby. One can´t come home from Africa without gifts for kith and kin, so spent an hour picking out the usual array of carved elephants, beads, and assorted knick-knacks.

The Blue Post Hotel is adjacent to the park, within view of the falls. Excellent buffet and a smashing big ice-cream dessert. A nice change from my own cooking, if one can dignify my culinary efforts by calling them "cooking". The good sister relishes these little forays away from the residence. She chatters away exuberantly as we go along, and how I wish I could understand more of what she says!

March 19 - Sunday, and nearly everyone was off to church. I am unfamiliar with the rituals of the R.C. church, and the service was to be done in Swahili, so I had two good reasons to skip the meeting.

Sister M.C. wheeled by in the afternoon and invited me to go with her to see another nearby falls on the Athai River. They were spectacular, but the best viewpoint was on the other side of the river. To get there, a short ferry crossing was required. The ferry was in fact a log raft with a couple of chairs set high enough to keep one´s feet dry. The motive power was a long rope, with the ferryman on one side of the river, and his twelve-year-old son on the far bank. One pulled you over, and the other pulled you back. An energy-efficient solution with no attendant pollution. I must admit, when out in mid-current, and the scrawny twelve-year-old pulling the rope, I had some fleeting thoughts concerning a grumpy hippo, or a hungry and hopeful crocodile somewhere just out of sight downstream.

I had been asked to bring some slides from home to show at some point. The nuns invited me up to their residence for supper, and the slide show followed. By a miracle the power stayed on, and I had to describe the whys and wherefores of snow, and what kind of a contraption was a snowmobile. On the other hand, I hadn´t known much about a ferry drawn by hand, so we came out even.

March 20 - Monday, and the beautiful weather continues. I swear the stars look closer and brighter than they do in Canada. Maybe we have more junk in our atmosphere than they do here. I tried to find a familiar constellation, to get the orientation of the compound straight, but no luck.

A ho-hum clinic day until the last patient. He had a routine extraction, but as the tooth came out, a little flake of attached bone came with it, and sliced neatly through my rubber glove and gashed my finger. In ordinary circumstances this would not cause much alarm, but out here a good number of the people are HIV positive. The patient, a young man, looked healthy enough, and in a moment of inattention he left the clinic and went home. We´re going to have to bring him back for a test, just for peace of mind.

March 21 - Tuesday. Always a heavy day´s work when we go to Thika. The line is always a hundred yards long, and you know you´ll never be able to see them all in a day. I got Michael to find out how long some had been in line. They had been waiting since six a.m. just to be sure they would be seen, and had walked several miles just to be there.

There is a bank in Thika, so over lunch time I went in to change a traveller´s cheque into shillings. This may not sound like a monumental financial transaction, but the whole exercise involved everyone from the manager down to the teller, and took 30 minutes of time I should have been in the clinic. I get the impression that each level of bureaucracy asserts its importance by delaying things to match that of the level above. Maybe I´m wrong, but I´ve wondered if there´s not some satisfaction in making someone from "the other side of the world" squirm a bit as the clock ticks. I know I was squirming .

Despite the noon-hour delay, we cranked through 52 patients, did 90 extractions and three composite fillings by quitting time.

Took the luxury of a short nap before making supper. Those dandy little foil packages of "chicken & noodles", vanilla pudding, etc., topped off with fresh papaya or pineapple, makes one feel like an accomplished chef!

To be continued.

Lyle Meeres concludes his story of their first visit to

SPAIN

NOTE: A mouse-click on any image will open a much larger version of the image.

Grain storage pits

On a scorching day, Pat and Gordon walked us around the ruins of Ullastret, a historic village, where I thought the grain storage bins were about as different as could be from our grain elevators. The sun-baked area seemed a very suitable setting for olive trees which were hundreds of years old.

Pat and Gordon took us to Empuries, founded in 575 BC, and occupied originally by Greeks and later by Romans. Empuries was originally an island but silting eventually made it part of the mainland. We checked in at the museum and then wandered the ancient ruins on our own. The mosaic tiles were particularly appealing and the remaining low walls invited us to imagine the large houses that the Romans built. When we were cooked, we enjoyed a pleasant walk back to L´Escala along the coast on a broad path shaded by tall trees.

Flamenco dancer on La Ramla in Barcelona

Pat and I stayed in a hotel in Barcelona so we could see the sights without dragging Pat and Gordon through places they knew very well. We took a city tour to help us to get our bearings. Then, as are most tourists and residents, we were drawn to La Rambla, which is a beautiful street on its own, but even more appealing when one adds in activities such as Flamenco dancers and talented mimes.

Gaudi´s dragon in Guell Park

Having seen the works of Dali, we had to examine some of the work of Gaudi in and around Guell Park. Gaudi is associated with Catalan Modernism. Gaudis tiled dragon is particularly striking, as are the curving tiled benches. Gaudi used waste ceramic pieces for some of his works, but he was essentially an architect. His works are now a World Heritage Site. Probably his best-known work is the huge church, Sagrada Familia, built in stages that seemed never ending. Guide books say it was built between 1883 and 1926, but Gaudi was forever raising money so he could complete another section. He would regard it as an unfinished work.

Gaudi´s Sagrada Familia

We had seen many museums, but enjoyed one more with a visit to the Maritime Museum of Barcelona.

At times, we were conscious of security. For example, many buildings in L´Escala had metal bars over windows, and some commercial places could drop metal coverings over their windows. Pat´s and Gordon´s garage was a secured building a walk away from their condo - but we heard it had been broken into, as was the condo itself about a year after our visit. My doctor told me about a pickpocket who tried to lift his wallet from a pack on his back while he was on an escalator in Barcelona. His wife caught the thief in the act and hollered, Get your hand out of there! One of Pat´s and Gordon´s friends had a similar experience. The rising steps of escalators tend to make wallets visible. Take precautions. It would be a shame to spoil a visit to such a fascinating, lively city.

Pat and I had taken a beginner´s Spanish course but it hadn´t really taken. I could usually manage to order a red wine, but that was nearly the limit. Pat of Pat and Gordon was quite skilled, but she pointed out that the Catalan language was distinctive and her Spanish was not very useful. The culture of the area developed during the Middle Ages and the language was part of the differences from the rest of Spain. Still, Gordon managed to leave the condo early every morning and come back with hands full of fresh baking treats, including chocolate-filled goodies, so he managed to communicate when it was vital.

I´d tell you more about our first trip to Spain but I lost my diary. The good news (or bad news, depending upon your point of view) is that Pat and Gordon moved to the south of Spain and we made a second trip to visit them there. My diary for that trip may seem endless to you, but there was so much to see that I hope you´ll pardon my excess!

Bruce Galway forwards this thoughtful piece:

WHAT WILL MATTER

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no days, no hours or minutes.

All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else. Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear. So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will all expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won´t matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived.

It won´t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Your gender, skin colour, ethnicity will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success, but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage and sacrifice that enriched, empowered, or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence, but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you´re gone.

What will matter is not your memories, but the memories of those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn´t happen by accident. It´s not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

Catherine Nesbitt forwards this sad tale of

TRAGEDY ON THE GOLF COURSE

Two golfers met at the club.

"I heard about your terrible tragedy last week," said one.

"Yes," said the other sadly, sipping his drink. "I was playing a two- some with Winthrop, and he dropped dead on the ninth hole."

"I understand you carried him all the way back to the clubhouse too," the first man said sympathetically. "That must have been very difficult, considering Winthrop weighed over two hundred and fifty pounds."

"The carrying wasn´t that hard. It was putting him down at every stroke, then picking him up again that wore me out."

Carol Dilworth forwards these supposedly true stories from British hospitals. As always, this statement should be taken with a large dose of skepticism:

DOCTORS´ STORIES

A man dashed into the emergency department and yelled, "My wife´s going to have her baby in the taxi!"

I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the taxi, lifted the lady´s dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, after protests from the lady, I noticed that there were several taxis ... and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, St. Andrews Hospital, Glasgow

At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient´s anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed.

"Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Barnes, St. Thomas´s, Bath

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her on her mobile phone reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart".

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg, Royal London Hospital

During a patient´s two-week follow-up appointment, he told me that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked.

"The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I´m running out of places to put them."

I had him undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn´t see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions includes removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk General

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?"

After a look of complete confusion she answered, "Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was still alive."

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Maidenhead Royal Kent

I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked, "So how was your breakfast this morning?"

"It was very good except for the Kentucky jelly. I can´t seem to get used to the taste," Bob replied.

I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labelled "KY Jelly".

Submitted by Dr. Leonard J. Brandon, Bristol Infirmary.

A nurse was on duty in the emergency ward when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for an immediate operation. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass"

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient´s dressing, which read, "Sorry ... had to mow the lawn."

Submitted by Staff Nurse RN Elaine Fogerty, KGH, London

Doctor wouldn´t submit his name.

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could be as sharp as this policeman:

A MATTER OF TRUST

He was being cross-examined by a defence attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman´s credibility.

Q: "Officer - did you see my client fleeing the scene?"

A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."

Q: "Officer - who provided this description ?"

A: "The officer who responded to the scene."

Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"

A: "Yes, sir. With my life."

Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then, officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"

A: "Yes sir, we do."

Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"

A: "Yes sir, I do."

Q: " And do you have a lock on your locker?"

A: "Yes, sir."

Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"

A: "You see, sir - we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."

The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Betty Fehlhaber forwards this link to a video of deep-sea diving in Bali, which shows many interesting creatures in the depths:

Bruce Galway´s suggestion allows us to enter into the world of the bee, through this lovely time-lapse photography:

Catherine Nesbitt sends the URL for a video of some of Banff´s least- popular inhabitants:

Catherine also forwards a link to pictures of the world´s longest sea bridge as it opens to traffic in China. She just hopes no-one runs out of gas on the bridge:

Gerrit deLeeuw sends this link to a video of glittering Macau:

Pat Moore forwards a link to a video showing what really happened to the satellite that was supposed to crash somewhere in northern Canada, or India, or maybe Washington State, or somewhere....

Tom Williamson suggests this site for a video of Carol Burnett, Harvey Korman and Tim Conway in a skit about a no-frills airline:

Tony Lewis quotes: Every magician likes to involve a pretty girl in his magic tricks, but it´s not often that the pretty girl is also a magician herself. This magic duo performs a stunning illusion during the World Magic Awards in 2009 that will leave you wondering exactly how they pulled this trick off:

To check out the features of the "freedictionary", which changes daily, go to