Stories: Tale Spinners #2011-49

These "Tale Spinner" episodes are brought to you courtesy of one of our Canadian friends, Jean Sansum. You can thank her by eMail at

Vol. XVII No. 49
December 3, 2011

IN THIS ISSUE

Zvonko Springer begins a story about a holiday in Africa
We get letters from Betty Audet and Dalton Deedrick
Pat Moore sends a note about a seasonal decoration
Tom Williamson forwards a note about places he has been
Catherine Nesbitt´s golf story contains a well-disguised insult
Barbara Wear reminds us of all the things our mothers taught us
Don Henderson forwards the best comeback-line of the year
Rafiki sends a story about an Italian mother
Sites are suggested by Betty Fehlhaber, Bruce Galway, Catherine Green, Catherine Nesbitt, Don Henderson, Gerrit deLeeuw, and Pat Moore

Zvonko Springer writes about an unusual

WORKING HOLIDAY

(Pictures in text can be enlarged by clicking on them)

In 1975 Ljiljana and I had a holiday from January 5th to February 15th in Africa, first in Bamburi in Kenya, then to the islands of Mauritius and Reunion, and finally to Djibouti.

Christmas was a quiet family time. Ljiljana was hurrying to pack all our travel goods, as she had done many times before. Our daughter, Vesna, now a student, was determined to stay alone to look after our household and our Doberman, "Donna". She refused her grandmother Mara´s help, but we were sure she would come if Vesna needed her.

I was ill with a heavy flu and my asthma returned unexpectedly, yet somehow I managed to get rid of these ailments and be ready for our long and deserved holidays. The company agreed to pay charter flight costs to Mombasa and all hotel expenses for Ljiljana and me during our holidays in Mombasa. Actually, I was supposed to look after the construction works at Bamburi plant, where the second kiln line project was going on.

Hotel on the Mombasa North Coast

We booked in at the Reef Hotel, situated on the Nyali Beach of the Mombasa North Coast. We had a car on our disposal, so Ljiljana would drive me to the factory when she wanted to do some shopping or visit our old-time friends in town. One of her objectives was to get a number of masques and wood carvings for the decoration of our new house. She found several interesting objects like a tall "Life tree". All the items had to be shipped to Salzburg separately as they were too heavy and some were too large to take them with us on our flight home as extra luggage.

I visited the plant every day and had some problems convincing the new resident engineer, as well as the contractor´s representative, of my ways. I met several workers who remembered me well as "Bwana kali sana" ("Master rather stringent"). The design office did not exist anymore, although there was a Kenya civil engineer in charge of it now.

One day he asked where he could find old drawings of a structure where some repairs had to be carried out. We went down to a small building next to the parking lot where I had ordered all the drawings we did not need any more to be stored. I ordered many cardboard boxes 10x10x100cm in which to store the drawings, and each was labelled with information about the drawings it contained.

I was astounded that the storage looked almost like I had left it some eight years before. Certainly my successor did not care about such matters. However I noticed some differences from the first visit to the construction site instantly. The young Kenya engineer and I went into this building and appalling air hit us, as the room badly needed some ventilation. Yet the boxes were stacked in an orderly way on racks, and I had no problem in finding the needed box. The man was surprised and just could not believe that I had found this particular box so quickly. The young colleague exclaimed, "Bwana, you are a man of Kenya´s history!" I was really flattered, yet I believed that it was time to give the new staff a lecture on how to organize drawings and other documents in future.

Despite all this work, Ljiljana and I had enough time to enjoy the warm sea, so we went to have a swim at least twice daily provided the tides allowed. The hotel had a nice swimming pool that we used if swimming in the sea was not possible. Like in the old times (only 10 years ago), we walked along the Nyali Beach instead of the Bamburi one when I returned from the works in the afternoon. Truly, we had holidays, although they were for me a kind of "working holiday". We were often invited by our old friends to spend several hours chatting or have a barbeque dinner.

We did not go on a safari on a weekend in the middle of January as we were invited to the arrival of a new cement carrier to Mbaraki Silo Station. The station, the project I worked on from the Salzburg office, became fully operational by 1969. A few new facilities had been installed since then. Mbaraki could be used to store and export clinker, as well as for the fluorspar, which was a recent addition for another client. All the operations were fully automatic and there were no "smoke clouds" of dust created during any of these processes.

Aspian at English Point Silo
Station in Mombasa

The new ship, the MS "Aspia", came from Hamburg. It had a carrying capacity of 9.500tdw of cement in bulk. The smaller carriers like MS "Bamburi" and "Cementia" with a capacity of 5.300tdw often used to tie up at English Point ,and to sail to and from Mbaraki to fill up the three silos, which had a total capacity of about 21.000t. Actually the Mbaraki silos were designed to take some 5.300t each at first, yet their height and the new extraction system increased their actual storage capacity to some 7.000t each. The old MS "Southern Baobab", holding about 3.000tdw, was now too slow to do this job as the demand for cement had increased rapidly since early 1970s.

The English Point Silo station had been enlarged considerably too. To the original three silos of about 2.500t capacity each had been added two more silos of about 3.300t capacity. Now English Point could store some 10.000t, which would be enough for the MS "Bamburi" and "Cementia" to supply cement for other destinations, including filling the Mbaraki silos.

Unfortunately, the cement transport by road vehicles from the plant to English Point caused significant traffic jams on the main road from Bamburi to Nyali.

The road tankers fleet consisted of the old tankers known as "Octopuses", which were used on the Kariba Dam, and several new modern ones. The increased number of these large vehicles caused congestion in traffic that angered all other drivers, including the tourists. However, Bhaiji Company, which had run the road tankers fleet, had a very good business now. I was sure that the owner, whom I knew personally, had forgotten the bad conflict we had some 10 years before. I had put up a new type of bollard, or short posts, around the factory entrance sometime in 1965.

In those days the original concrete bollards could easily be run over and could be destroyed by malicious driving at the entrance to the factory. When I was put in charge of the building department that had to put new concrete bollards to keep the entrance building safe from these "monsters". Any new bollard of reinforced concrete and the paint would cost time and money every time. So I decided to get steel pipes of the same diameter yet a bit longer, and filled them with concrete. These new bollards were damned heavy, but after painting they looked exactly like the old ones. At night we dug holes and placed the new bollards in them, encased in concrete. When I arrived the next morning, an Octopus stood with a broken front axle by one of the new bollards that it had hit in the usual way.

Later I heard about the many phone calls between a very angry Mr. Bhaiji and Dick Roberts, Bamburi´s works manager. This one-time event was a warning for the drivers not to hit any of the bollards in future. This story had a remarkable end several years later when I designed a new type of even wider bollards at the approach to the new silos at English Point. These bollards were actually hollow inside, with a 12cm-thick concrete shell that was painted like the ominous "armoured" bollards. None of the new road tankers dared to run into them or destroy them.

To be continued.

NOTE: Zvonko sent a large number of pictures along with this series of articles. They are arranged in several albums here. These albums will be slow to download as they are very large files.

Album 1: Mauritius Island on Arrival

Album 2: Pictures when Cyclone Gervais hit Mauritius and some from better days

Album 3: End of holidays by the way of Reunion and Djibouti

CORRESPONDENCE

Betty Audet writes: I was happy to hear from Dixie Augustjein. I remember driving to her 90th birthday. My husband is now old enough that we are beginning to think about how to celebrate his 100th. He is now the oldest man in town, and has just come back from a walk to the grocery store.

The series of stories about visiting Spain reminded me about the wonderful six weeks we spent in Portugal (February into April), with a side trip to Seville. Our travel was made much less expensive than for many because my husband had just taught himself Portuguese as his eighth language. Spanish he had mastered some years earlier to travel in South America.

ED. NOTE: Your husband is almost as old as Dixie! We seem to be a long-lived lot, though Dalton and I are behind them by 10 years, and there are some whose ages are creeping up into the 80s and 90s. It would be interesting to know how many readers are approaching or have reached our great age....

~~~~~~~

Dalton Deedrick writes: I was flattered by your kind words referring to my "Africa" letter. The Rotary program which sent dentists to a dozen different sites has now been cancelled, but I´m fortunate to have been able to participate in four tropical programs.

No more such fun and games! My eyes are giving me trouble, my hearing leads me to believe that everyone speaks in whispers, and I don´t do stairways unless there is a handrail. However, I will be 90 next month, for which I am grateful.

I know there are hundreds of people who owe you a hearty "thanks" for the pleasure they had in reading the "Tale Spinner." Count me among them.

ED. NOTE: Dalton and I were born in the same month of the same year, 1922, as I too will be 90 in January. And speaking of staying power, the Tale Spinner will be 17 years old in January. Perhaps we should all celebrate together. ;)

Pat Moore and several others have forwarded this obviously-popular item:

THERE WILL BE NO NATIVITY SCENE IN OTTAWA THIS YEAR

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the Parliament Hill this Christmas season. This isn´t for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation´s Capitol. A search for a virgin continues.

There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

Tom Williamson and others forwarded this one:

WHERE I HAVE AND HAVE NOT BEEN

I have been in many places, but I´ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can´t go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I´ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don´t have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family, and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I´m not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I´ve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I´m in Capable, and I go there more often as I´m getting older.

One of my favourite places to be is in Suspense. It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart. At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

Catherine Nesbitt sends this story about

GOLFERS

A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome. They were even after the first two holes.

The second guy said, "We´re about evenly matched, How about playing for five bucks a hole?"

The first guy said that he wasn´t much for betting, but agreed to the terms. The second guy won the remaining 16 holes with ease.

As they were walking off number 18, the second guy was busy counting his $80. He confessed that he was the pro at a neighbouring course and liked to pick on suckers. The first fellow revealed that he was the parish priest.

The pro was flustered and apologetic, and offered to return the money.

The priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."

The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

The priest said, "Well, you could come to mass on Sunday and make a donation. And if you want to bring your mother and father along, I´ll marry them."

Wear Barbara reminds us of

WHAT I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done:
"If you´re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me religion:
"You´d better pray that this will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about time travel:
"If you don´t straighten up, I´m going to knock you into the middle
of next week!"

4. My mother taught me logic:
"Because I said so, that´s why."

5. My mother taught me more logic:
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you´re not going
to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me foresight:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you´re in an accident."

7. My mother taught me irony:
"Keep crying, and I´ll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of osmosis:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about contortionism:
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about stamina:
"You´ll sit there until all that liver is gone."

11. My mother taught me about weather:
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about hypocrisy:
"If I told you once, I´ve told you a million times. Don´t exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the circle of life:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about behaviourism:
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about envy:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who
don´t have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about anticipation:
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about receiving:
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me medical science:
"If you don´t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck
that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP:
"Put your sweater on; don´t you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me humour:
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don´t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me how to become an adult:
"If you don´t eat your vegetables, you´ll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me genetics:
"You´re just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my roots:
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me wisdom:
"When you get to be my age, you´ll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about justice:
"One day you´ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Wow, do I miss my mother!

Don Henderson forwards this reprint from the Washington Post:

BEST COMEBACK LINE EVER

The police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22-year-old white male, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

On Monday, at the courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop. "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there wasn´t anyone around," he stated in an interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need.

"Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that´s for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he´s just banging away at this pumpkin." Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. I said, "Excuse me, sir, but do you realize that you´re having sex with a pumpkin?"

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said: "A pumpkin? Shit! Is it midnight already?"

Rafiki sends an example of

AN ITALIAN MOTHER´S WISDOM

Mrs. Ravioli came to visit her son, Anthony, for dinner. He lived with a female roommate, Maria.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn´t help but notice how pretty Anthony´s roommate was.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom´s thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.´´

About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I´ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don´t suppose she took it, do you?"

"Well, I doubt it, but I´ll e-mail her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote an e-mail:

Dear mama,

I´m not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house; I´m not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Anthony

Several days later, Anthony received a response e-mail from his Mama which read:

Dear son,

I´m not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria, and I´m not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Love, Mama

Moral: Never lie to your mama.