Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2012-40

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Bruce Galway forwards the story of a pickle jar
• Jean Sterling comments on two items in last week´s issue
• Jay sends us some thoughts women have undoubtedly had
• Don Henderson aces a quiz for seniors
• Catherine Green sends the story of a Spanish lesson
• It is important to recognize the signs of a stroke
• Sites are recommended by Bruce Galway and Catherine Nesbitt

Bruce Galway forwards the story of

THE PICKLE JAR

The pickle jar as far back as I can remember sat on the floor beside the dresser in my parents´ bedroom.

When he got ready for bed, Dad would empty his pockets and toss his coins into the jar.

As a small boy, I was always fascinated at the sounds the coins made as they were dropped into the jar. They landed with a merry jingle when the jar was almost empty; then the tones gradually muted to a dull thud as the jar was filled.

I used to squat on the floor in front of the jar to admire the copper and silver circles that glinted like a pirate´s treasure when the sun poured through the bedroom window. When the jar was filled, Dad would sit at the kitchen table and roll the coins before taking them to the bank.

Taking the coins to the bank was always a big production. Stacked neatly in a small cardboard box, the coins were placed between Dad and me on the seat of his old truck.

Each and every time, as we drove to the bank, Dad would look at me hopefully. "Those coins are going to keep you out of the textile mill, son. You´re going to do better than me. This old mill town´s not going to hold you back."

Also, each and every time, as he slid the box of rolled coins across the counter at the bank toward the cashier, he would grin proudly. "These are for my son´s college fund. He´ll never work at the mill all his life like me."

We would always celebrate each deposit by stopping for an ice cream cone. I always got chocolate; Dad always got vanilla. When the clerk at the ice cream parlour handed Dad his change, he would show me the few coins nestled in his palm. "When we get home, we´ll start filling the jar again." He always let me drop the first coins into the empty jar. As they rattled around with a brief, happy jingle, we grinned at each other. "You´ll get to college on pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters," he said. "But you´ll get there; I´ll see to that."

No matter how rough things got at home, Dad continued to doggedly drop his coins into the jar. Even the summer when Dad got laid off from the mill, and Mama had to serve dried beans several times a week, not a single dime was taken from the jar.

On the contrary, as Dad looked across the table at me, pouring catsup over my beans to make them more palatable, he became more determined than ever to make a way out for me. "When you finish college, son," he told me, his eyes glistening, "you´ll never have to eat beans again - unless you want to."

The years passed, and I finished college and took a job in another town. Once, while visiting my parents, I used the phone in their bedroom, and noticed that the pickle jar was gone. It had served its purpose and had been removed.

A lump rose in my throat as I stared at the spot beside the dresser where the jar had always stood. My dad was a man of few words: he never lectured me on the values of determination, perseverance, and faith. The pickle jar had taught me all these virtues far more eloquently than the most flowery of words could have done.

When I married, I told my wife Susan about the significant part the lowly pickle jar had played in my life as a boy. In my mind, it defined, more than anything else, how much my dad had loved me.

The first Christmas after our daughter Jessica was born, we spent the holiday with my parents. After dinner, Mom and Dad sat next to each other on the sofa, taking turns cuddling their first grandchild. Jessica began to whimper softly, and Susan took her from Dad´s arms. "She probably needs to be changed," she said, carrying the baby into my parents´ bedroom to diaper her. When Susan came back into the living room, there was a strange mist in her eyes.

She handed Jessica back to Dad before taking my hand and leading me into the room. "Look," she said softly, her eyes directing me to a spot on the floor beside the dresser. To my amazement, there, as if it had never been removed, stood the old pickle jar, the bottom already covered with coins. I walked over to the pickle jar, dug down into my pocket, and pulled out a fistful of coins. With a gamut of emotions choking me, I dropped the coins into the jar. I looked up and saw that Dad, carrying Jessica, had slipped quietly into the room. Our eyes locked, and I knew he was feeling the same emotions I felt. Neither one of us could speak.

This truly touched my heart. Sometimes we are so busy adding up our troubles that we forget to count our blessings. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person´s life, for better or for worse.

CORRESPONDENCE

Jean Sterling comments on the article about the spell checker in last week´s issue: I find that the grammar checking is useless, and I think I disabled it a while back (or perhaps it gave up on me?)

Spell checker works OK for me, but my husband has problems with it. He is a retired engineer and can´t spell worth a darn. The spell checker throws up its hands and tells him there is no such word in its dictionary.

Our middle son is much the same. I remember when he was in fourth grade, he brought home a spelling test where he had managed to misspell at least half of the words. The teacher had told him that he had to write each word correctly ten times for homework. Well, he had mangled half of the words so badly that I couldn´t figure out what they were. I tried sounding them out to no avail, and he couldn´t remember what they were. I had to write the teacher a note explaining why he had only done half of the assignment.

On the subject of the single best thing we can do for our health, Jean writes: He mentions walking a dog as a form of exercise. That doesn´t work with Abby, who has to stop and sniff EVERYTHING - even other dog´s poop, which I don´t understand at all. I guess that´s how she catches up on the doggie gossip. Something that´s interesting is that everybody talks to me when I´m walking the dog. However, if I want to take a "real" walk, I do it before Abby wakes up.

Jay forwards this one:

A WOMAN´S RANDOM THOUGHTS

I read this article that said typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, smoking too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.

Skinny people piss me off! Especially when they say things like, "You know sometimes I forget to eat." Now, I´ve forgotten my address, my mother´s maiden name, and my keys. But I´ve never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn´t give a damn.

They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn´t all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how´d you like to go to the six o´clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "Listen, you do it and you die."

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.

I know what Victoria´s Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.

"If men can run the world, why can´t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?"

Don Henderson got 20 out of 20 on this

MEMORY TEST

(Have a paper and pencil handy to record your answers. Your mind isn´t as sharp as it once was!)

1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways?

A. Flintstones vitamins
B. The Butt master
C. Spaghetti
D. Wonder Bread
E. Orange Juice
F. Milk
G. Cod Liver Oil

2. Before he was Muhammad Ali, he was

A. Sugar Ray Robinson.
B. Roy Orbison..
C. Gene Autry.
D. Rudolph Valentino.
E. Fabian.
F. Mickey Mantle.
G. Cassius Clay.

3. Pogo, the comic strip character said, "We have met the enemy and ...

A. It´s you.
B. He is us.
C. It´s the Grinch.
D. He wasn´t home.
E. He´s really me and you.
F. We quit.
G. He surrendered.

4. Good night, David,

A.. Good night, Chet
B. Sleep well.
C. Good night, Irene.
D. Good night, Gracie.
E. See you later, alligator.
F. Until tomorrow.
G. Good night, Steve..

5. You´ll wonder where the yellow went ...

A. When you use Tide.
B. When you lose your crayons.
C. When you clean your tub.
D. If you paint the room blue.
E. If you buy a soft water tank.
F. When you use Lady Clairol.
G. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent.

6. Before he was the Skipper´s Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie´s friend:

A. Stuart Whitman.
B Randolph Scott.
C. Steve Reeves..
D. Maynard G. Krebs.
E. Corky B. Dork.
F. Dave the Whale.
G. Zippy Zoo.

7. Liar, liar ...

A. You´re a liar.
B. Your nose is growing.
C. Pants on fire.
D. Join the choir
E. Jump up higher.
F. On the wire.
G. I´m telling Mom.

8. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice and ...

A. Wheaties.
B. Lois Lane.
C. TV ratings.
D. World peace.
E. Red tights.
F. The American way.
G. News headlines.

9. Hey kids! What time is it?

A. It´s time for Yogi Bear.
B. It´s time to do your homework.
C. It´s Howdy Doody Time.
D. It´s time for Romper Room.
E. It´s bedtime.
F. The Mighty Mouse Hour.
G. Scoopy Doo Time.

10. Lions and tigers and bears ...

A. Yikes.
B. Oh, no.
C. Gee whiz.
D. I´m scared.
E. Oh my.
F. Help! Help!
G. Let´s run.

11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone ...

A. Over 40.
B. Wearing a uniform.
C. Carrying a briefcase.
D. Over 30.
E. You don´t know.
F. Who says, "Trust me."
G. Who eats tofu.

12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women´s stockings:

A. Troy Aikman
B. Kenny Stabler
C. Joe Namath
D. Roger Staubach
E. Joe Montana
F. Steve Young
G. John Elway

13. Brylcream ...

A. Smear it on.
B. You´ll smell great.
C. Tame that cowlick.
D. Grease ball heaven.
E. It´s a dream.
F. We´re your team.
G. A little dab´ll do ya.

14. I found my thrill ...

A. In Blueberry muffins.
B. With my man, Bill.
C. Down at the mill.
D. Over the windowsill.
E. With thyme and dill.
F. Too late to enjoy..
G. On Blueberry Hill.

15. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by

A. Clark Gable.
B. Mary Martin.
C. Doris Day.
D. Errol Flynn.
E. Sally Fields.
F. Jim Carrey.
G. Jay Leno.

16. Name the Beatles

A. John, Steve, George, Ringo
B. John, Paul, George, Roscoe
C. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo
D. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo
E. Lewis, Peter, George, Ringo
F. Jason, Betty, Skipper, Hazel
G. John, Paul, George, Ringo

17. I wonder, wonder, who ...

A. Who ate the leftovers?
B. Who did the laundry?
C. Was it you?
D. Who wrote the book of love?
E. Who I am?
F. Passed the test?
G. Knocked on the door?

18. I´m strong to the finish ...

A. Cause I eats my broccoli.
B. Cause I eats me spinach.
C. Cause I lift weights.
D. Cause I´m the hero.
E. And don´t you forget it.
F. Cause Olive Oyl loves me.
G. To outlast Bruto.

19. When it´s least expected, you´re elected, you´re the star today.

A. Smile, you´re on Candid Camera.
B. Smile, you´re on Star Search.
C. Smile, you won the lottery.
D. Smile, we´re watching you.
E. Smile, the world sees you.
F. Smile, you´re a hit.
G. Smile, you´re on TV.

20. What do M & M´s do?

A. Make your tummy happy!
B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket.
C. Make you fat.
D. Melt your heart.
E. Make you popular.
F. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
G. Come in colours.

Below are the right answers:

1. D - Wonder Bread
2. G - Cassius Clay
3. B - He Is us
4. A - Good night, Chet
5. G - When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent
6. D - Maynard G. Krebs
7. C - Pants on fire
8. F - The American Way
9. C - It´s Howdy Doody Time
10. E - Oh my
11. D - Over 30
12. C - Joe Namath
13. G - A little dab´ll do ya
14. G - On Blueberry Hill
15. B - Mary Martin
16. G - John, Paul, George, Ringo
17. D - Who wrote the book of Love
18. B - Cause I eats me spinach
19. A - Smile, you´re on Candid Camera
20. F - Melt in your mouth not in your hand

Catherine Green sends the story of

THE SPANISH LESSON

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House," for instance, is feminine: "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is ´computer´?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men´s group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval;

and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay cheque on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women´s group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("el computador"), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can´t think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem;

and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have got a better model.

Stroke can be treated if it is recognized in time. That´s why it is so important to know and respond to the warning signs:

STROKE WARNING SIGNS

Stroke is a medical emergency. Recognizing and responding immediately to the signs of stroke by calling 9-1-1 or your local emergency number can significantly improve survival and recovery. If a person is diagnosed with a stroke caused by a blood clot, doctors can administer a clot-busting drug available only at a hospital, and only within a few crucial hours after symptoms begin. That´s why it is very important to be able to recognize the five warning signs of stroke and immediately call 9-1-1 or your local emergency number.

What are the five signs of stroke?

If you experience any of these symptoms, call 9-1-1 or your local emergency number immediately.

RECOMMENDED WEBSITES

Bruce Galway suggests this site for a video of a resident of Vancouver controlling three kites in English Bay near the Burrard Bridge. The video is set to music, "The Flower Duet" from Leo Delibes´ opera "Lakme":

Bruce also forwards the URL for a video of what happens when engineers own dogs:

Catherine Nesbitt forwards this link to a video from the American Heart Association of a super mom who took care of everyone but herself:

In his Best-Selling book, "The Next Big Thing," Joe Rickards reveals how powerfully the social media revolution is reshaping our world:

Runaway Fighter, with exclusive interviews with Canadian Air Force insiders revealing the extent of the bungled F-35 procurement process, which aired on CBC´s Fifth Estate, is now available to watch online:

The creator of this video pieced together some of his favourite clips from the Carol Burnett show:

Robots and algorithms are getting good at jobs like building cars, writing articles, translating - jobs that once required a human. So what will we humans do for work? Andrew McAfee walks through recent labour data to say: We ain´t seen nothing yet. But then he steps back to look at big history, and comes up with a surprising and even thrilling view of what comes next:

To check out the features of the "freedictionary", which changes daily, go to