Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2013-02

---

IN THIS ISSUE

• We get letters from Bruce Galway, Carol Shoemaker, Irene Harvalias, and Margaret Manning
• Scambusters claims that seniors are increasingly vulnerable to scams
• Don Henderson tells of a bartender who solved a problem
• Catherine Green sends children´s ideas of ends to familiar phrases
• Bruce Galway´s story is about an annual physical
• Pat Moore sends an addition to the Mary Poppins story
• Estelle shares a conversation between two boys in hospital
• Sites are suggested by Catherine Nesbitt, Gerrit deLeeuw, Pat Moore, Rafiki, Tom Williamson, and Tony Lewis

CORRESPONDENCE

Bruce Galway writes: I too am experiencing the problems with URL links to the internet.

I believe the need to cut and paste links to get to the internet coincided with your relatively recent change in computers. (My assumption as an ex-IBMer is that you moved to an Apple product.)

The inconvenience is tiny in comparison to the enjoyment I, and likely most, if not all your readers, get from your weekly edition of the Tale Spinner. Thank you for all your time and efforts.

Carol Shoemaker writes: I have no explanation, but the links are highlighted on my iPhone but not on my computer. The mysteries of the internet!

This is the message I get with the shortened web addresses: Your search - http://arunaurl.com/4l94 - did not match any documents.

I too look forward to the newsletter every Saturday; it is part of my Saturday morning ritual to read it and check the links. Thanks for keeping it going.

Irene Harvalias, referring to the video of the trained dog in last week´s issue, writes: I NEED one of those dogs! Can we have it cloned? I´ll bet we´d make a mint!

Margaret Manning writes: Just to let you know we have not received The Tale Spinner for the last four or maybe five weeks. We think it is tied in with some sort of "update" for my computer. These updates drive me mad because I´m sure I don´t need the latest stuff relating to computers as often as they send it. I don´t know, but that is my best guess why. You will know we changed the e-mail address as that was back in October and they´ve come through since.

I am thinking of sending you something about our move from the country to a city, if you think that would be of interest.

ED. NOTE: From the above letters it is apparent that we have technical problems, with URLs not being linked and copies not being received. Some of them may be attributed to my new computer, with its new operating system and all the changes deemed necessary with upgrades, and others may be on the receiving end. Having no idea of how to deal with these glitches, I can only suggest that readers having difficulty with the e-mail edition go to the online editions at http://members.shaw.ca/vjjsansum/ or http://www.nw-seniors.org/stories.html

Of course I am delighted with Margaret´s idea of writing about their move, and if anyone else feels inclined to send me stories, I will be equally happy.

The current copy of Scambusters claims that seniors are especially vulnerable to scams:

NEW TRICKS ADD TO SENIORS´ $3 BILLION SCAM WOES

Scammers are robbing seniors at the rate of around $3 billion a year. And as this section of the population continues to grow, and seniors reach much older ages than previously, experts fear the crime is about to explode. Already, one in five people aged 65 or over has fallen victim to a scam. [These figures are for the US, but are probably much the same in Canada.]

What You Can Do

Whether you´re in the older age group or know someone who is, experts say that education - teaching and learning the risks - is the best route to tackling the seniors scam explosion.

Seven key rules are:

* Never accept what someone tells you on face value; check it out.

* Never give information like bank account details and Social Security numbers to someone you don´t know. The people who really need these already have them.

* Never pay a supposed bill by money wire, gift, or cash card, and never agree to a home collection of payment from someone you don´t know.

* Don´t send money to a supposed relative or friend in trouble, no matter how convincing they sound, without first checking their story with someone else.

* Don´t give out your credit card number in response to any kind of call - including someone who tells you they´re from your card company. They´re not.

* Don´t pay upfront to receive cash, whether it´s a supposed lottery prize, closing costs, or anything else.

* Discuss big financial decisions with a family member or a trusted - and we do mean proven to be trustworthy - professional.

ED. NOTE: A long-time friend in Oakville recently received a call from a man who said he was a police officer, calling on behalf of her grandson, who had been in an accident. In her words, she gave the game away by saying, "David?" The "policeman" said yes, and said he´d let her speak to him.

Another man came on the phone, sobbing, saying, "Oh Grandma, I was in an accident and I have to pay $3000 fine before they will let me go. Can you help me?" (The sobbing was a mistake, because it was completely out of character for her real grandson.) "No, certainly not!" she responded. The first man came back on and said it was a serious charge, and asked if she would pay the fine. To which she said, "Definitely not!" and hung up.

She immediately phoned her son in Detroit to tell him about the call, and he told her that her grandson was at work. After that she phoned the police to report the call, and they said the chances of the scammers being caught was almost zero, because they used disposable cell phones, and threw them away as soon as they contacted a potential victim.

This is a classic case of the grandparent scam, in which seniors are contacted, asking them to send money to help some member of their family. Fortunately, my friend didn´t believe their story, so they probably went on to find an easier victim.

To read the whole article, go to Scambusters´ website: http://www.scambusters.org/seniors2.html

Don Henderson tells a story about

BUBBA

Bubba went to a psychiatrist. "I´ve got problems. Every time I go to bed, I think there´s somebody under it. I´m scared. I think I´m going crazy."

"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week, and we should be able to get rid of those fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"Eighty dollars per visit," replied the doctor.

"I´ll sleep on it," said Bubba.

Six months later the doctor met Bubba on the street. "Why didn´t you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?" asked the psychiatrist.

"Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!"

"Is that so! And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain´t nobody under there now!"

Catherine Green says there have been a couple of generations in the last sixty years that have missed the boat, but this group isn´t one of them.

FINISH THIS SENTENCE

A first-grade school teacher had 25 students in her class. She presented each child with the first half of a well-known saying and asked them to come up with the remainder of the saying. It´s hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first graders, six-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

1. Don´t change horses ... until they stop running.

2. Strike while the ... bug is close.

3. It´s always darkest before ... Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of ... termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but ... how?

6. Don´t bite the hand that ... looks dirty.

7. No news is ... impossible.

8. A miss is as good as a ... Mr.

9. You can´t teach an old dog new ... math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you´ll ... stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust ... me.

12. The pen is mightier than the ... pigs.

13. An idle mind is ... the best way to relax.

14. Where there´s smoke there´s ... pollution.

15. Happy the bride who ... gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is ... not much.

17. Two´s company, three´s ... the Musketeers.

18. Don´t put off till tomorrow what ... you put on to go to bed.

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ... you have to blow your nose.

20. There are none so blind as ... Stevie Wonder.

21. Children should be seen and not ... spanked or grounded.

22. If at first you don´t succeed ... get new batteries.

23. You get out of something only what you ... see in the picture on the box.

24. When the blind lead the blind ... get out of the way.

And the WINNER and last one!

25. Better late than ... pregnant.

ED. NOTE: And don´t forget: If it sounds too good to be true ... it probably is.

Bruce Galway sends a story about

THE ANNUAL PHYSICAL

An elderly gentlemen went in for his annual physical exam. The doctor said, "You´re in incredible shape. How old are you again?"

The man replied, "I am 78."

The doctor exclaimed, "Wow, 78! How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60-year-old."

The man explained, "Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad, she would go into the kitchen to cool off and I would go outside to settle down."

"What does that have to do with it?" asked the doctor.

The man sighed, "I´ve pretty much lived an outdoor life."

Pat Moore sends this tale about

MARY POPPINS

Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night.

She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night. "Certainly madam," he replied courteously.

"Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary.

"Sorry, no," came the reply, "but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?" Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. "Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please," said Mary.

"Certainly, madam," he replied. "And can I have breakfast in bed?" asked Mary politely. The receptionist nodded and smiled.

"In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs, please," Mary said. After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night.

The night passed uneventfully and the next morning Mary came down early to check out. The same guy was still on the desk. "Morning, madam. Did you sleep well?" "Yes, thank you," Mary replied.

"Food to your liking?" "Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional, I don´t think I have had better. Shame about the eggs, though ... they really weren´t that nice at all," replied Mary truthfully.

"Oh ... well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our guest comments book. We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion," said the receptionist.

"OK, I will. Thanks!" Mary checked out, and then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey.

Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written.

"Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!"

Estelle forwards this example of

KID TALK

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I´m in here to get my tonsils out and I´m a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You´ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jello and ice cream. It´s a breeze."

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

"Whoa!" the second kid replies. "Good luck, buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn´t walk for a year."

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Catherine Nesbitt forwards this link to a video of Jowi Taylor, who wanted to do something original and remarkable to celebrate how great it is to be a Canadian. He chose to create a guitar. He sits down with Steve Paikin to discuss this musical labour of love:

Catherine also sends the URL for a video of "parahawking": hawks hitching rides with paragliders:

Gerrit deLeeuw sends the URL for a video with fascinating pictures of wild life posted by the Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation:

For readers looking for respite from bad news, check out this site suggested by Pat Moore:

Rafiki forwards this link to a video of Tsung Tsung, a five-year-old piano prodigy from Hong Kong:

Tom Williamson believes you will love this movie from "the olden days":

Affluenza is a ground-breaking film that diagnoses a serious social disease caused by consumerism, commercialism, and rampant materialism, that is having a devastating impact on our families, communities, and the environment. We have more stuff, but less time, and our quality of life seems to be deteriorating. By using personal stories, expert commentary, hilarious old film clips, and "uncommercial" breaks to illuminate the nature and extent of the disease, Affluenzahas appealed to widely-diverse audiences:

To check out the features of the "freedictionary", which changes daily, go to