Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2013-03

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IN THIS ISSUE

• We get letters from Carol Hansen, Catherine Nesbitt, Eric Manning, Jean Sterling, and Norma Patterson
• Pat Moore forwards the story of a grandfather´s shopping experience
• Stan French shares the tale of the winter boots
• For cat owners, here is some advice from the "Cat Whisperer"
• Betty Audet´s post is all about money
• The editor thanks you for your birthday wishes
• Websites are recommended by Barbara Wear, Gerrit deLeeuw, Nevil Horsfall, Pat Moore, Tony Lewis, and Zvonko Springer

CORRESPONDENCE

Carol Hansen writes: I should have let you know that I did take your advice about reading The Tale Spinner online ... no more problems with links that aren´t highlighted!

I hope others will try that, too ... problem solved!

Catherine Nesbitt writes: I believe it was your birthday yesterday, and therefore today´s good wishes are belated but still sincere. I hope you had a lovely day, and that you are fully recovered from your lingering cold. May you repel all germs and viruses in 2013!

As always, thank you for The Tale Spinner. It is a bright spot in my e-mail.

Eric Manning writes regarding their non-receipt of the newsletter: Many thanks. The problem was with the spam filter on our server. This has now been fixed and all Tale Spinners received.

Jean Sterling refers to the story in last week´s issue about the two boys in hospital: I remember when I had my tonsils out. All I was told was the part about the jello and ice cream - things that were high on my list of good things. I knew nothing about the surgery and what would happen in the hospital. As it turned out, my imagination was much worse than the actual procedure.

I was in a room with three other kids who also knew nothing except the part about the ice cream and jello. We did know that our tonsils were in our throat, and got to wondering how they would get them out. One of the kids said he had heard that they did it while we were asleep. So we all decided we had better go to sleep. While we were trying to go to sleep, a nurse came and loaded one of the kids onto a gurney and wheeled him out of the room. A short while later he was wheeled back in, unconscious. He might have been unconscious, but to me he looked as if he was dead. When the nurse came for me I was terrified. I can remember wailing all the way down the hallway. The anesthesia they used was ether, and I can remember fighting to stay awake.

I´ve heard that these days kids are better prepared - they are told what will happen and what to expect. This makes it easier on the kids, and I´m sure easier on the hospital staff.

The week following the loss of my tonsils, I went to the doctor. I remember asking him if I could see my tonsils. He told me that my tonsils were very big and that he had fed them to his cat.

Norma Patterson writes: If I didn´t receive the Spinner every week, I might as well give up on this laptop! We really enjoy the stories, jokes, and links. And thank you for all the work you put into it.

ED. NOTE: It is possible that when subscribers do not receive the Spinner, the fault lies with their spam filter, as it did with the Mannings´ server. So now when people write to tell me they are not receiving their copies, I will add this to my suggestion that they read it online.

Pat Moore sends the story of

THE CARING GRANDFATHER

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved three-year-old grandson. It´s obvious to her that he has his hands full, with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle, and for fruit, cereal, and drinks in the other aisles.

Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a gentle controlled voice, "Easy, William - we won´t be long. Easy, boy."

Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say again, "It´s okay, William. Just a couple more minutes and we´ll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."

At the checkout, the little terror is t growing items out of the cart, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, "William, William - relax mate, don´t get upset. We´ll be home in five minutes. Stay cool, William."

Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries, and the boy is in the car. She says to the elderly gentleman, "It´s none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don´t know how you did it."

"The whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."

"Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I´m William. The little bastard´s name is Kevin."

Stan French thinks that anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this:

THE WINTER BOOTS

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her reception class pupils put on his boots?

He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn´t want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they´re on the wrong feet."

She looked, and sure enough, they were.

It wasn´t any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the correct feet.

He then announced, "These aren´t my boots."

She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn´t you say so?" like she wanted to.

Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.

No sooner had they got the boots off when he said, "They´re my brother´s boots. My Mum made me wear ´em."

Now she didn´t know if she should laugh or cry, but she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?"

He said, "I stuffed ´em in the toes of my boots."

She will be eligible for parole in three years.

For cat owners, this may be useful advice from the "Cat Whisperer":

THE WATERING HOLE

Do you ever wonder why your cat insists on pawing water out of your glass or lapping up the trickle from the kitchen sink instead of drinking from his own perfectly clean and full bowl? The answer may be in its location.

Cats are great survivors, and drinking water that is not contaminated with bacteria is an important part of survival. When you place your cat´s food (which he will consider to be "dead prey", store bought or not) next to his water bowl, his wildcat instincts tell him that the water could be contaminated with bacteria from the food. He will then search out what he believes to be a cleaner water source.

I recommend creating a designated watering hole for your cat by placing his water bowl in a completely different location than where he is fed (or from where his litter box resides, for that matter). This separate location could be in an entirely different room that is easily accessible to your cat 24/7, or simply on the opposite side of the kitchen where you currently feed him. If you´re unsure of the best placement, introduce several locations and watch your cat´s behaviour. He will show you which area(s) he prefers.

If you haven´t yet tried a cat water fountain, you may be in for a treat. Not only can the shimmering and flowing water entertain your cat, but he may be encouraged to drink more water than he did from his stagnant water bowl.

If you have a multi-cat household, creating several watering holes can help ensure that all of your cats are drinking a healthy amount of water, particularly if one cat is intimidated by other cats in the household and is fearful to visit the water bowl as often as he´d like. In fact, having only one watering hole for multiple cats often causes territorial tension, which leads to chasing and fighting.

Remember, a well-hydrated cat is a healthy cat. Urinary tract issues in cats continue to be one of the leading reasons for veterinarian visits each year. Cat fountains and water bowls located away from food sources and litter boxes can encourage cats to drink more water, which in turn will help contribute to a healthy urinary system. A "watering hole" makes sense when we look at the environment through our cat´s eyes!

ED. NOTE: I tried this, putting the cat´s water bowl on the other side of the kitchen. So far I can´t tell if it is making any difference because I usually put my cup of water where he can´t reach it. He has an annoying habit of drinking from it if I don´t watch him. I don´t know how much water he drinks, but his bowl always looks nearly full. Maybe if I put my cup on the floor he would drink more!

Betty Audet forwards these thoughts on

MONEY MATTERS

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don´t generate much interest.

My parents were soooooo poor, they got married for the rice.

"Credit cards are very dangerous. Every time I try to use one somebody starts chasing me with scissors." - J. Bothne

The best things in life are free ... or have no interest or payments for one full year.

Give until it hurts ... then have your accountant calculate the write-off.

We were soooooo poor we went to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick the other kid´s fingers.

"People are always asking me how much I´m worth. Well, all I can say is, I´ve got enough money to last me the rest of my life. As long as I die in the next 20 minutes." - George Burns

I´m as broke as the ten commandments.

Money can´t buy everything ... but then again, neither can no money.

Money takes the sting out of being poor.

It doesn´t matter whether you are rich or poor as long as you have money.

We were sooooooo poor we would eat beans for breakfast, water for lunch, then we´d swell up for dinner.

Money can´t buy happiness, but it can help you look for it quicker, in a convertible.

FROM THE EDITOR´S DESKTOP

My heartfelt thanks to all who sent me good wishes on my 91st birthday.

The ex-aides from my school library and I had a birthday party planned for Monday, when we would have celebrated three birthdays that occur in the same week. However, when we looked outside that morning, we saw than an unexpected and unpredicted snow was falling, making the roads slippery and treacherous. (You understand that when we get snow here in the Lower Mainland, it is heavy with moisture, and slicks down into ice in no time.) So we postponed the luncheon for a week.

You may remember my complaining bitterly about a cold that knocked the stuffing out of me, leaving me exhausted and house-bound. After I had had it for seven weeks, I had to renew my prescriptions for medication, and the doctor at the clinic suggested that because of my great age, I should have an x-ray. So I did, and finally had to go back to the clinic to discuss the results. It turned out that I had "walking pneumonia", and was given a prescription for an antibiotic. It seems that many people with this sort of pneumonia think they have only a bad cold - as I did, and never get treatment for it. I had another x-ray Thursday, and no doubt will hear eventually whether the antibiotic worked or not.

If any of you have a cold that lasts over a matter of weeks, perhaps you should consider the fact that you too may have walking pneumonia. Google it - there are some interesting facts about it.

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Barbara Wear was still laughing as she forwarded this link to a video of alcohol testing:

Gerrit deLeeuw sends this link to a ballet de deux, which leaves me wondering how anyone can be as slim as the talented woman dancer:

Nevil Horsfall suggests this site for a demonstration by an Australian pilot that airstrips are for sissies:

Pat Moore forwards this link to a site for the musicians among us. It has virtual keyboard on which you can play the piano, flute, guitar, and saxophone without buying an instrument. The keys are played with the mouse, but you can also play with the PC keyboard. You can also keep rhythm accompaniment:

Tony Lewis suggests this site for a video of a harmonica player who received a standing ovation at Carnegie Hall. It took the Lone Ranger theme song to bring them to their feet:

Zvonko Springer sends the URL for a time-lapse video of flowers:

An enormous wall of dust has hit part of Australia as residents brace themselves for a tropical cyclone. The stunning images of the wild dust storm were captured by tugboat works and aeroplane passengers near the town of Onslow in north-western Australia. Local reports say the huge swathes of red sand and dust had been picked up by strong winds in the Indian Ocean before being dropped near the town:

A whale-watching boat was caught in the middle of a dolphin stampede, a rare, breathtaking sight:

You may have heard of the Lifesaver bottle. Pour contaminated water into one side and out comes pure drinking water on the other. This must be the most important magic trick in the world. The inventor, Michael Pritchard, offers an astonishing demo here and reminds us that safe drinking water for the whole world is possible right now:

To check out the features of the "freedictionary", which changes daily, go to