Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2013-10

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Carol Hansen forwards an article on the real heroes of aging
• We get letters from Betty Fehlhaber, Carol Hansen, and Irene Harvalias
• Bruce Galway sends a story of generosity without condescension
• Marilyn Magid forwards a list of alternate meanings of common words
• Don Henderson shows that Newfies are not dumb
• Pat Moore forwards this year´s list of banned words
• The editor recalls an embarrassing situation
• Sites are suggested by Carol Hansen, Carol Shoemaker, Catherine Nesbitt, and Tom Williamson

Carol Hansen forwards this article by Ronni Bennet:

TIME GOES BY - ELDERS AND LOSS

When our culture at large is not ignoring old people, it celebrates us in an especially demeaning manner by holding up as paragons the freaks of old age - the ones who climb Mt. Everest at 80, or deep sea dive, or jump out of airplanes.

Responses from younger people to these extreme accomplishments of age are universally out of proportion. "Wow!" they say. And "Awesome!" "Risks are what growing old is all about," they exclaim, while barely concealing their disdain for the rest of us who don´t or can´t emulate a 40-year-old.

What those of us who are actually old know, however, is that our time of life, whatever else its pleasures and joys may be, is a time of loss. That cannot be denied, and it is something we must make peace with as we pile up the years.

We may find ourselves with a chronic disease or two that limit us; our mobility can become a challenge. Old friends move away; if you live long enough, they die.

The small things add up, too: forgetting words that were on the tip the tongue; standing in a room wondering why we are there; misplacing the keys. It takes longer to do chores we once raced through, and when we´re finally finished, we´re too worn out for the fun activity we´d planned - if we can recall what it was.

Pieces of our lives, large and small, fall away one by one, and in addition, we must, when our careers are done and children gone, figure out what our purpose is now at this time of life. There is rarely anyone to help with that one; we´re on our own.

But the amazing thing about living with all these losses is how good we are at it, and how resilient. Instead of succumbing to hopelessness, we devise systems to help us remember. We fold the necessary routines to monitor our health conditions into daily life. We pace ourselves to husband our strength and energy. We adjust, adapt, and accommodate.

But best of all, we find, almost naturally, the silver linings in the difficulties that appear in these late years. We trade old pleasures for new ones. We make time to serve others. We each invent the best possible way to navigate the changes and losses we encounter, and we make jokes. My god, how we laugh at ourselves, even if it is rueful sometimes.

To those very few elders who become heroes to young people by swimming the English Channel or driving race cars, more power to them. But they are not typical.

The majority of elders face their inevitable losses as they appear without much fuss. They do it with courage, too, and perseverance and humour. They do it day in and day out, and then they do all over again when something new lands in their laps. That should be honoured at least as much as bungee jumping off a bridge at age 80.

CORRESPONDENCE

Betty Fehlhaber writes: We had a great time in Mexico, and our hotel, while considered only a three star, was very clean, and the staff couldn´t do enough for us. I admit we were a little leery at first because we hadn´t been to Mexico for over three years, and the Baja was a new experience for us. However, we had no difficulty touring around and seeing the sights, and we even rented a car one day and drove half way up the Pacific route of the Baja on a very modern road.

I had taken my walker along, which was a boon because half way through our holiday, I injured my foot, and as I am a diabetic I had to see a doctor, then stay off it as much as possible. Oh well, these things are sent to try us. All in all, it was a wonderful break from winter, and when we returned, all the snow had melted and the strawberry plants appear to have survived, so we should get a good crop this summer.

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Carol Hansen writes: Thanks once again for a thoroughly enjoyable Tale Spinner! It is something I look forward to reading every Saturday morning.

I also subscribe to Jane Straus´ newsletter, but I did not know she had died. I am surprised to learn that. It is good of her husband to continue her work.

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Irene Harvalias writes: Another winner! The jokes were hilarious, and the websites awesome. I shared the one about the Landfillharmonic on Facebook ... what an inspiration that was!

Bruce Galway sends this great story:

CUP OF COFFEE ON THE WALL

I sat with a friend in a high-class coffee shop in a small town near Venice, Italy. As we enjoyed our coffee, a man entered and sat at an empty table beside us.

He called the waiter and placed his order saying, "Two cups of coffee, one of them there on the wall." We heard this order with some interest, and observed that he was served with only one cup of coffee but he paid for two. As soon as he left, the waiter pasted a piece of paper on the wall with the words written "A Cup of Coffee".

While we were still there, two other men entered and ordered three cups of coffee, "Two on the table and one on the wall." They had only two cups of coffee but paid for three and left. This time again, the waiter did the same: he pasted a piece of paper on the wall saying, "A Cup of Coffee".

It seemed that this gesture was a norm at this place. However, it was something unique and perplexing for us. Since we had nothing to do with the matter we finished our coffee, paid the bill, and left.

After a few days, we happened to visit this coffee shop again. While we were enjoying our coffee, a man entered. The way the man was dressed did not match the standard nor the atmosphere of the coffee shop. Poverty was evident from the look on his face and his attire. As he seated himself, he looked at the wall and said, "One cup of coffee from the wall, please." The waiter served a coffee to this man with the customary respect and dignity.

The man drank his coffee and left without paying. We were amazed to watch all this when we also noticed that the waiter took off a piece of paper from the wall and threw it in the dust bin. Then it dawned on us what this custom was all about. The great respect for the needy shown by the inhabitants of this town brought tears to our eyes.

Coffee is not a need of our society, nor a necessity of life. The point to note is that when we take pleasure in any blessing, maybe we also need to think about those people who appreciate that specific blessing as much as we do but they cannot afford to have it.

Note the character of the waiter, who is playing a consistent and generous role to get the communication going between the affording and the needy with a smile on his face.

Ponder upon this man in need. He enters the coffee shop without having to lower his self-esteem. He has no need to beg for a free cup of coffee. He only looked at the wall, placed an order for himself, enjoyed his coffee, and left.

When we analyze this story, along with the other characters, we need to remember the role played by the wall that reflects the generosity and care of the dwellers of this town. What a way to show compassion and maintain human dignity for all.

Marilyn Magid forwards the results of another contest conducted by The Washington Post in which readers were asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

ALTERNATE MEANINGS

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavoured mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Don Henderson forwards this story which proves that though Newfoundlanders are often the butt of jokes,

THEY ARE NOT STUPID

A Newfie and a Torontonian entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, the Torontonian stole three chocolate bars. As they left the store, the Torontonian said to the Newfie: "Hey, man! I´m the best thief. I stole three chocolates and no one saw me. You can´t beat that."

The Newfie replied: "You want to see something better? Let´s go back to the shop and I´ll show you real stealing."

So they went to the counter and the Newfie said to the shopkeeper: "Do you want to see some magic?"

The shopkeeper replied: "Yes."

The Newfie said, "Give me one chocolate bar."

The shopkeeper gave him one, and he ate it.

The Newfie asked for a second bar, and he ate that as well. He asked for the third, and finished that one too.

The shopkeeper asked, "But where´s the magic?"

The Newfie replied: "Check in my friend´s pocket, and you´ll find all three bars of chocolate."

Pat Moore sends the results of Michigan´s Lake Superior State University´s annual List of Words Banished from the Queen´s English for Misuse, Overuse, and General Uselessness. The 2012 list was compiled by the university from nominations submitted from across the globe.

THE 2012 LIST OF BANISHED WORDS

Amazing - overused

Baby Bump - overused

Shared Sacrifice - abused for escaping a burden

Occupy - overused

Blowback - overused

Man Cave - overused

The New Normal - misused for justifying "bad trends"

Pet Parent - misused as "there is no equate"

Win The Future - useless as a contrary wouldn´t ever be applied

Trickeration - useless and "made up"

Ginormous - useless and "made up"

Thank You in Advance - abused for getting one´s way while also condescending

In all, a dozen words or phrases made the 37th end-of-the year list.

The list started as a publicity ploy by the school´s public relations department on New Year´s Day, 1976, and has since generated tens of thousands of nominations.

"Amazing" received more than 1,500 nominations, the most of any on this year´s list.

FROM THE EDITOR´S DESKTOP

When I was 43, working as a compositor at the only major newspaper monopoly in Vancouver, I was so bored with setting classified ads seven and a quarter hours a night that I determined to do something different. I began taking classes at Vancouver College, to see if I could still cope with education, and elected to take a course in Canadian history.

I had a distinct advantage over all the kids in the class, many of whom did not want to be there in the first place, and sat muttering in the back seats: we had studied Canadian history exhaustively in school in the dark ages, as Jay calls them. I don´t believe they do that now, so most of the material covered in the class was new to many of the other students.

The professor, whose name I have forgotten, was a little deaf and did not hear the mutters from the back. He was not very inspiring either, and filled much of the hour asking questions about the assigned homework. He would ask a question, and I would put up a tentative hand. The prof would look at the class, see no hand but mine, and say, "Mrs. Sansum?"

I soon realized that I was the only one volunteering answers, so I stopped, but after waiting a minute, the professor would turn to me and say, "Mrs. Sansum?" Unfortunately for me, I usually knew the answers, and didn´t want to say I didn´t know, so I replied.

One day the professor asked, "Who won the War of 1812?"

Blank silence, and then from the back of the class, someone growled, "Mrs. Sansum!"

I don´t remember if anyone laughed, but I´ve been grinning about it ever since.

SUGGESTED WEBSITES

Carol Hansen sends this link to a morphed video of beautiful actresses over the years up to the present. Great technical work, worth watching even if you don´t know who the new ones are:

Carol Shoemaker forwards this link to a video posted by Chelsey Feole of her 88-year-old grandmother dancing:

Catherine Nesbitt suggests this site for pictures of the "Eureka," the only Zeppelin in the US. It is one of a new breed of lighter-than-air ships and is based out of Moffett Field In Mountain View, CA, and offers sight-seeing rides of the Bay Area and Monterey:

Irene Harvalias sends this URL for a site that figures out how many days one has lived, based on one´s birthday. I was surprised to find that I am 33,292 days old, and I have lived through 23 leap years. To find out how many days old you are, go to

Tom Williamson sends this link to a video in which Ernie Adams tells about his 1949 Mercury dwarf car. You can see the car´s features up close and learn about the building process:

Educational researcher Sugata Mitra is the winner of the 2013 TED Prize. His wish: Build a School in the Cloud, where children can explore and learn from one another:

This video shows one man´s thinking outside the box - literally. He has invented and built packing boxes to replace cardboard boxes and packing materials. This video spotlights his exceptionally forward-thinking green moving company that makes boxes you rent, all made from 100% recycled plastic bottles, and new versions of bubble wrap, packing peanuts, and pallets - all made from recycled materials:

This site shows a video of a prototype for solar highways, in which solar panels are built into roads which will generate power and pay for themselves:

To check out the features of the "freedictionary", which changes daily, go to