When I was in high school, I used to be terrified of most of my girlfriends' fathers, who probably suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter in places he would consider most-inappropriate. He was probably right.
He would open the door and immediately affect my attitude, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds.
Now, years later, it is MY turn to be the dad. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter's suitors feel ... EVEN WORSE! (My motto: 'wilt 'em in the living room, and they'll stay that way all night!') So, I'll start with something benign such as "I see you have your nose pierced. Is that because you're stupid, or did you merely want to APPEAR stupid?"
As a dad, I have some basic rules, which -- if you're considering dating my daughter, you might want to peruse.
And, for the record, I did NOT suggest to a previous suitor that I would have these rules tattooed on his arm if he couldn't remember them. I've priced tatooing, and it is waaaaay too expensive. What I suggested was that writing them on his arm with a permanent marker might be inadequate, and that my wood burning set was probably a better alternative.
One time, when my wife caught me having one of my daughter's would-be dates practicing pulling into the driveway, get out of the car, and go up to knock on the front door (he had violated rule #1, and needed to practice the proper way to approach my home), she asked my "don't you remember being that age?"
Yes, I remember. It is as vivid in my memory now as it was then. Where do you think these rules came from?