From the I, Anonymous Column, The Stranger, May 22, 1996, Page 5

If your car has ever been towed for being parked too long, I may be responsible. After dinner, for both exercise and revenge, I walk around my neighborhood and arrange for over-parked cars to be towed away.

I didn't originally plan to report these cars like some comrade party member, but after walking a woman-friend to her car a block away and getting drenched, I decided enough was enough. I have civil rights, too--like parking in front of my house. So every night, I look for cars which have expired plates or have been parked in the same place for over two weeks.

Then I call Seattle Parking Enforcement (684-8763) and lovingly report these homeless, frequently unwashed vehicles. The city likes me to provide the color, make, model, license plate number, exact location, and how long the space-hogging, polluting vehicle has been parked (two weeks or longer is preferred; one week is okay).

After a few days, white tickets and orange stickers appear on windshields appear on windshields like poppies, telling assholes to move their vehicles or be towed--and the city isn't kidding. Yesterday, I observed two fine old (suitable for living in) vehicles getting towed to be recycled or sold at an auction, where bargain hunters can resell it to some schmuck who will probably get it towed for over-parking it.

I help create jobs for parking enforcement officers, tow truck operators, auctioneers, and used car dealers. I restore available neighborhood parking spaces so car owners like myself can park (and responsibly move out cars every other day). Tourists, employees, and visitors can now find a parking spot when patronizing our neighborhood businesses.

Now after reporting more than 14 abandoned vehicles, my woman-friend and I can safely park in front of my home. Join me in patrolling our neighborhoods and liberating our parking spaces!