Seattle Weekly/Eastside Week
"Ahh...SHARE MY WEALTH...OF HUMOR"
(I began with "Ahh..." to run at the beginning of the column. It made a difference.)
Emotionally tall & expressive, affectionate, relaxed DJM, latte 30's, Peter Sellers double & leaves seat down, lives simply, wants LTR w/ smart, liberal, adventureous J, ethnic, or Betazoid F, 20's-40's to share my (uncomplicated) life of voluntarily simplicity. Cute rugrats, not HWP & other motor oil additives, camper's, & choc/book/movieaholic's OK. address to write to listed.
PETER SELLERS DOUBLE
CONSIDERATE (holds doors), vertically challenged (5'5"), permanently 39+4, DJM, nudist, seeks open-minded, educated Betazoid, latte 20s-40s. Tie knot/two? Pleasantly erotically plump, hikers, bookaholics, kids, coupons, ethnic restaurants OK. .
NEED A MALE "WIFE"?
CONSIDERATE (returns calls), Peter Sellers double, househusband-material, permanently 39+4, DJM, seeks imaginative, open-minded, educated Betazoid, latte 20s-40s. Tie knot/two? Love handles, coupons, ethnic restaurants, campers, libraryaholics, kids OK. e-mail address.
Parody Ad Making Fun of Everyone's Shopping Lists Including Mine
CHEAP AND SUPERFICIAL???
Permanently SM, bisexual, lives beyond his means, age equals debt in thousands owed, age equals room temperature, not $ecure, too old, young, tall, short, wrong race, religion, political beliefs, or not successful enough for you, wears polyester, very overweight, won't hug seeks uneducated, ordinary-looking, tall/average size/non-petite/non-HWP politically incorrect same race (prefer non-Asian) hetersexual, dominant F, within 3 yrs of my age for Short Term Relationship.
You should be dumb/smart, unemployed or overworked, unliberated, smoke, drink like a fish, has STDs/kids, on welfare or has boring job, eats meat and roadkill, have a stupid sense of humor, terrible taste, talks in monosyllables, lives in apartment or trailer, uses coupons, and hates backpacking, fishing, camping, candlelight dinners, Greenlake or moonlight walks, ethnic foods, golf, tennis, skiing or sailing. Your name is "Rayette". I want to be your man. Signed "Red".
Thirty Suffering: (really Thirtysomething) Newsletter
Jewish Singles Newsletter from the Strom Jewish Community Center of Greater Seattle, a United Way agency
Tie the knot (or two)?
Affectionate, secure, neat Peter Sellers double (cleans up after himself), politically-impaired (liberal), permanently 39+4, HWP (went to Weight Watchers), vertically challenged but emotionally TALL, dyes (chest) hair, dislikes TV sports seeks organized, open-minded, imaginative, college-educated *Betazoid (belly dancers, love handles, kids accepted), *latte 20s-40s for hikes, camping, simple living, Shabbot dinners, erotic role play. E-mail and home phone was listed.
*Betazoid is a science-fiction character from the Star Trek or Star Drek TV series.
*latte was spelled correctly.
I only remember getting one reply to this and she clearly had not read the ad.
It is too bad that the Sierra Singles doesn't offer ads like this. This group by the way is a wonderful group to meet people at in that most of their activities are centered around outdoor events and not being, gasp, unmarried.
Results:
I usually average a half a dozen replies per ad of which one or two meet the specific criteria I specified and meet the minimum specifications (intelligent/college educated, reads or goes to the library alot, smart, MOT, knows what a safeword is, open-minded, has traveled, comfortable with her body and herself, has a number of male and female friends but not just to have them, is comfortable being alone, lives simply and isn't a lawyer, an Amway representative, a cell phone user, social worker or psychotherapist, etc. Just kidding on the occupations. Otherwise, I would eliminate most everyone I know!
I did meet a bona fide "rabbit killer" but not the Fatal Attraction movie kind (see interest page) She said that she's a trapper in Alaska. She liked the fact that I was funny, left the seat down, could talk easily, and had a hairy chest. Although not in that order. >;-{)
Other places to place free personal ads in the Greater Seattle area include:
- Seattle Weekly or Weakly in terms of ad response. The alternatives section is pretty lukewarm.
- The Stranger. Good results from the both the ordinary and the "Alternatives" section according to my friends who are more knowledgeable than I am.
- Little Nickel. Yellow colored shopper in Western Washington.
Usually uneducated folks and smokers answer these ads.