10. Let's get this one out of the way: I WANT TO GET HIGH !

9. My employer sent me to an all-day seminar on "valuing diversity"

8. My mom has cancer, my spouse has a spinal injury, and my nephew has AIDS

7. My children do not have AIDS, would like to keep it that way

6. I was killed in a drive-by shooting

5. I'd like to get my grandpa out of prison

4. My $1000 camcorder was ripped of and sold for $100 to buy 35 cents worth of heroin

3. My house was confiscated because my daughter's boyfriend left a roach behind the sofa

2. I wanted to meet some people who could talk about drugs without shouting

1. I want to stop giving drug traffickers $9 billion per week