Repeatedly calling a person's name is a dead giveaway of being "handled". I think this originated with P.T. Barnum or Dale Carnagie, but it is now a standardized technique.

The Telemarketing Scum Page has a separate page describing responses to this offensive tactic: Telescum "Repeat Naming" or Signifying Tactics

I had noted that a high percentage of these scum use tape recorders without notification or consent of their victims. Very often, their equipment transmits a legally-required "beep" illegally muted to be inaudible. The end result is presumably an audible "beep" on the tape which the victim never hears!

BUT some faxmodems and fax machines will interpret those inaudible beeps as fax hailing beeps, with the obvious result. When that happens, I ask them to please turn off their tape recorder because it sets off my fax.

Perhaps their dead-ender employees don't even know they're being taped. Tell the person that their boss is illegally taping, and that the ethical thing is that they should report this because their boss is well aware of their use of a muting device; otherwise they'd turn the beeps off entirely. Tell them if they're afraid to do the right thing now, they should report it when they move on to their next position. Encourage them to tell others about this.

If you have seen this happen, be prepared. In other words, explain:

1. Their company is taping this call, and that's what set off your fax machine.
2. The tape equipment has a warning tone, which is what the fax machine respond to.
3. The warning tone is masked to deceptively disguise its presence.
4. Their company went through considerable trouble to mask the tone rather than turn it off, because they know it's illegal to tape a call without informing the parties. The masked signal is intended to show up in their tape of this conversation.
5. Their company chose a location in the country where the prevailing morality is such that they can usually get away with it.

If their client has any sort of public image to uphold, discuss this matter with their client. Using masked tape warning tones is a deceptive practice that should never be tolerated by (semi-)reputable businesses.

See www.scn.org/~bk269/illegal_taping.html for technical explanation.

The Supervisor

The point here is to keep the person on as long as possible. Engage the supervisor with extranea. No matter what you do at this point, you are clogging their system, and making them less able to nail other victims.

Signifying

A hybrid of "repeat naming," this consists of a sales clerk being instructed to read a customer's name from a form of ID, and using that to address the customer by name. This makes sense where a full introduction is part of the business transaction, but I've seen this introduced to a Safeway supermarket. This was in a Seattle neighborhood where all of the other supermarkets are quot;high end.quot;

One possibility is that Safeway wants to disuade mid-level shoppers -- the type who go to mid and high end grocers but pick up milk and toilet paper at Safeway. One Safeway manager admitted that his store received a number of complaints about signifying but the company still wants their clerks to continue. Apparently it doesn't affect the coupon shopper trade.

The issue is addressed in detail at Telescum "Repeat Naming" or Signifying Tactics.

Mid-Meal Marketing at Restaurants

Usually consists of having a waiter/waitress approach mid-meal and ask some "caring" question, as distinguished from checking shortly after serving the meal (eg. for condoment requests). Hey, as annoyances go, this one ain't too bad! Most of this is set forth for amusement.

"How's your spam and rice?"

The problem is how to meet this social intrusion with grace. Just think it through ahead of time.

Fallback Positions:

One option is to just say, "I don't know yet."

or the direct answer: "I ordered this. ... It's what I ordered."

or an answer directed to the harassment issue: "I have problems answering that type of question."

You may wish to explain,

"I can't give you a meaningful answer."

"I don't know. I'm still eating."

"Oh!" (Then offer a taste, using a clean spoon from an untouched part of your plate.)

State that they should try the food themselves. After all, a customer may not feel comfortable giving a direct critique.

If the approach was overbearing, mumble "I hate these surveys.."

If they 'defend' the survey question, then politely respond.

Point out that, in addition to irritating the customer, the information they gather in this manner is especially inaccurate. If they use the best quality ingredients they would never have to question their food.

Most response, such as chemical aftertaste and MSG aftereffects won't show up until after the customer leaves the restaurant.

"I hope this is just marketing. And I'm not gonna have to get a gamma globin (sp?) shot." (A bit extreme but some of these marketing approaches are extreme.)

"These surveys are notorious for being ignored. Last time I mentioned the food was too salty, the next time they doubled the salt."

The Specific Comment Approach

"I wish they had better ingredient information on the menu."

"You know, what type of shortening is used; fresh/frozen; preservatives. That sort of thing."

"I'm glad you asked." and take the opportunity to inquire as to the recipe, etc.

Follow up with questions regarding their little "survey". After all if you are unwittingly involved, you'd like to know, for example:

• What people dislike most (If no 'criticisms' why bother people with the survey?)
• How the chefs respond
• other procedures

Sometimes you just need give an exclamation of exasperation.

"How is everything"

Decide the purpose, because sometimes this is timely.

Very politely describe the advantages of checking shortly after serving, so the approach doesn't get misconstrued as marketing during a customer's meal.

Point out that they must be mistaken and they couldn't possibly know you because you're new in town.

Go into a very l-o-n-g discussion relevant to the question. (Describe food quality issues, frozen food, use of "trashcan seasonings", etc., but do so in a generic sense.) Include a number of questions.

(In most cases, you'll have to settle for saying something like "We're set", and leave it at that.)

Better yet, don't be so damn cheap and go to a better restaurant.

Marketing Follow-Up Calls

Make a note to call back and "update" their data with a fax number as your new home number. Many of these calls are made as a quality check for data they wish to sell.

State that you would appreciate not getting marketing calls.

If the caller says it's not a marketing call but just wants to find out if everything is okay, tell them word games of that sort only make it more offensive and you'd appreciate if they'd give you the dignity of taking you at your word that your don't want marketing calls.

Solutions, Products, and Customer Care

There is a tendency for low-end businesses to mislabel their services as "products", their products as "solutions", and poor customer services as "customer care". Point out that you expect straight talk:

solutions

You don't buy "solutions," unless we're talking about detergents or industrial waste. Nothing resolves everything except maybe Dr. Kavorkian. (Puzzles are "solved".)

services as "products"

Actually, I prefer obtaining services to purchasing a product. "I guess 'service' is a thing of the past at your company."

customer care

sounds like some sort of institution. I hope your company doesn't consider every customer to be a mental case. (Just people who write web pages like this!)

Then state that you prefer they avoid the obfscuration when doing business with you.

site first posted November 3, 1996
rev January 9, 2010 This page copyright 1998, S. Protigal
This website can be found by searching for "The Telemarketing Scum Page" on a search engine.

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