T-shirt slogans
- "Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam" (seen
on Cape Cod)
- "That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" (seen on an 8
year old)
- "Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be
When I Grew Up
- "Procrastinate Now"
- "Rehab Is for Quitters"
- "My Dog Can Lick Anyone"
- "I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want\Fries
With That?"
- "Party - My Crib - Two A.M." (on a baby-size
shirt)
- "Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've
Been Doing since 15"
- "ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS, AND I MARRIED THEIR KING"
- "West Virginia: One Million People, and 15 last
names"
- "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the
software"
- "I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I'VE GOT A GUN"
- "A hangover is the wrath of grapes"
- "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash
advance"
- "STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!"
- "DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music"
- "MOOSEHEAD: A great beer and a new experience for a
moose"
- "They call it "PMS" because "Mad Cow
Disease" was already taken"
- "He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless
dead"
- "Time's fun when you're having flies.......Kermit
the Frog"
- "POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN .... Cops have nothing
to go on."
- "FOR SALE: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped
once."
- "HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN
GOSH"
- "A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up
a thousand times the memory."
- "The Meek shall inherit the earth....after we're
through with it."
- "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a
banana."
- "HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken; A
lifetime commitment for a pig"
- "WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20
years"
- "The trouble with life is there's no background
music."
- "IF THERE IS NO GOD, WHO POPS UP THE NEXT
KLEENEX?"
- "Suicidal Twin Kills Sister By Mistake!"
- "The original point-and-click interface was a Smith
& Wesson."
- "MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT"
- "Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a
bit."
- "Computer programmers know how to use their
hardware."
- "MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three-Mile-Island
cleanup team."
- "NyQuil-The stuffy, sneezy,
why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine."
- "Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is
research."
- A shirt with a Harley Davidson logo on the front. The
back said, "IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THE BITCH FELL
OFF!"
- "My husband and I divorced over religious
differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't."